Since he now knew he was sitting across from one of the prime candidates, that didn’t work.
“I’m not really sure how you win over a woman like Lyra,” Jaden said. His guard was up immediately. If this was about fishing for information on the direction of Lyra’s affections, he wanted no part of it. Simon’s laughter did little to ease his tension.
“You and me both. But even if I knew, trust me, it would never have worked anyway. Lyra and I… it’s just never been like that. I mean, I thought about it back when we were teenagers. I’m not blind, and I’m not stupid. But it wouldn’t have worked out. We’re good as friends. More than that, not so much.”
Jaden managed to relax a little at that, though the words sounded so rehearsed that he wondered how many times Simon had repeated them to himself, trying to become convinced they were true. Of Lyra’s disinterest Jaden had no doubt. But Simon struck him as a little too protective, and a little too interested, for a guy who wanted to be a platonic friend. Still, Jaden didn’t plan to argue Simon out of his stated position. It worked just fine for him.
“At least you’ve stayed friends,” Jaden said. He had no idea how Simon had managed all these years. He would never have been able to spend so much time with Lyra without touching her. He hadn’t even two nights here without his hands on her. More would probably have driven him permanently insane.
Simon considered while he ate another fry. “I would have married her, though, don’t get me wrong. Dorien’s my Alpha, so going against him is usually a bad idea. And Lyra and I go way back. Friendship isn’t such a bad place to start, you know? But we wouldn’t have made each other happy in the long run.”
“How so?” Jaden asked, genuinely curious. On the surface, if he put his own feelings aside, Simon would seem to be a good fit.
“She wants all of this,” Simon said, gesturing around him with a small half smile. “Lyra was born to lead the Thorn. She loves it. She loves the people, the place, everything about being a werewolf except for some of the, uh, gender-specific issues.” He eyed Jaden. “She might have mentioned those. Or not.”
Jaden shifted uncomfortably. “I heard about that. Elsewhere.” Simon looked relieved to not have to go into them.
“Anyway, she wants it, and maybe she’d change a few things here and there, but she loves it for what it is—a scrubby wolf pack in the middle of nowhere.”
“You don’t like it here?” Jaden asked. It seemed a rather harsh assessment. Most of the wolves seemed perfectly content in their little forest oasis. They came and went during the day, working here or in other surrounding towns, then returning to be among their own. There was a rhythm and a flow to life here that Jaden found comforting after so many years of upheaval. But he knew very well that some would find it stifling… especially a young wolf like this who had never been out in the world.
“I don’t know,” Simon said, running a hand through his hair. “Yes… and no. When you’re born into this, you don’t get a lot of choices, you know? Most of us just grew up here. We’re expected to stay here. And it’s great if you want it! But it’s always the same. Nothing ever changes. And I just—”
Jaden found himself offering a sympathetic smile. “Believe it or not, I know exactly how you feel.” Simon had unwittingly just described Jaden’s mortal life. He could look back on those emotions now and see them as what they were: the natural growing pains of a young man who wanted to make his own way in a place where he was expected to do things the way they had always been done.
Jaden certainly had managed to escape all that in a big way. Though even in that, he’d never really had a choice. He’d just been jerked from one predetermined path to another with no warning. And there had been no going back.
Simon smiled, tipped his beer in Jaden’s direction. “Thought you might. You’ve got that long-wandering look about you. How’d it turn out for you?”
“What, wandering?” Jaden asked. Simon nodded, and Jaden searched for an appropriate answer. It wasn’t a question he got much. Or ever.
“I suppose I’d have to let you know when I’m done wandering,” he finally said, and Simon chuckled.
“Fair enough. I’d like to know, though.” His face fell a little. “The only wandering I’ll be doing is vicarious. I’m on my way up in the pack guard. Maybe if I get a scar or two I’ll find a woman. Could be worse.”
It surprised Jaden to see his mortal self reflected so strongly back at him tonight from a werewolf. He understood, more than he could express. And that understanding made him want to help if he could. He was tired of wandering, himself. But most people didn’t have an eternity in which to do it.
“Maybe you can come out to Massachusetts once I go. I can convene a vampire forum on how to bag hot women, just for you.”
Simon grinned. “It’s not a bad idea. If you’re serious, I’ll see. We don’t usually get too far outside the territory, but Dorien seems to like you, so… we’ll see.”
He looked intrigued by the possibility, at least, and that was something. Jaden found it nice to be in a position to offer help to someone else for a change. With that done, though, he wanted to get on with this. Simon wanted something. And even though he doubted she would appreciate it, he wanted to get back and check on Lyra. The look of her this evening nagged at him, worried him.
“All right. What’s this really about, Simon?”
He saw the truth, which Simon had managed to dance around for an hour now, in the way the wolf dropped his eyes. Jaden’s instincts had been right: this was not purely a social exercise.
“Um. Good food and beer? New friendships?”
“Try again. I appreciate the effort, but I have things to do. Thanks, though,” Jaden added, and meant it. “I know the only reason I’m not in pieces by now is because of Dorien, but you’ve been convincingly friendly. My usual reception isn’t half as pleasant.”
Simon glanced over at a table of six wolves who had been busy glaring at Jaden ever since they’d come in. He looked unimpressed and turned back to Jaden.
“Actually, you’re doing pretty well for our first vamp in, well, ever. You’ve won over a few. Honor counts for a lot around here, and last night showed you have some. Word spreads quickly. Those guys over there are buddies of Eric’s, though, so you can forget that. They hate anyone Lyra likes, and she seems to like you. Which I guess brings me to my point… because believe it or not, I’ve enjoyed this too. You’re a lot more likable than I’d figured on.”
Jaden smiled faintly. “Why do I feel like I’m not going to like what’s coming next?”
“You don’t have to like it. You just need to listen to it,” Simon said, his own expression suddenly deadly serious and his voice dropping low enough that anyone else in the bar would have a hard time hearing.
“Go ahead.” No, he was most definitely not going to like this, Jaden thought. And he wasn’t disappointed.
“I’m telling you this for Lyra because she won’t listen to me and you seem like a cautious sort of guy. That’s good, because you need to be careful, Jaden.”
His back was up immediately. “In what sense am I not being careful, Simon?”
Simon looked mildly exasperated. “This isn’t to get in Lyra’s good graces, Jaden. She and I are… it’s just not happening. I meant what I said. But there’s been some talk. Just gossip, mostly. People around here don’t have anything better to do. But some of it has some basis. I mean, what exactly were you two up to last night, out so far by yourselves?”
“We were… walking,” Jaden said lamely. Simon just looked at him.
“Yeah. Well, I think you know how believable that is. And the night I chased the vamp out to Grant Park? You and Lyra alone, once again. I know you were wounded and all, but at first, it looked like—”
“It wasn’t,” Jaden said quickly. This was rapidly turning into an interrogation, and he didn’t want to answer these questions. Especially not from Lyra’s best friend. Apart from the danger involved, it was also the very definition of “awkward.”
Simon looked skeptical, but he let it go. “Well, whatever it actually is, I can tell you how it looks, and it isn’t something that’s going to fly around here. So I’m telling you, if you give a damn at all what happens to her, you should cool it with the alone time and the long moonlit walks, okay? Eric’s got people watching you two. If he keeps looking, I’m guessing he’ll find enough to take Lyra down without ever laying a finger on her.”
Watched. That knocked the wind out of him for a second. He should have figured. But he’d been too wrapped up in Lyra, too focused on the outside threat of the Ptolemy searching for him to consider that Eric might be seeking to use Lyra’s association with him to his advantage. Of course Eric would use it if he got a chance.
Just how he would use it, of course, was something he hadn’t been quite clear on.
“So… if he did find something, some supposed evidence that Lyra and I had been, ah—”
“Hooking up?” Simon was half jesting, but there was something in his expression that warned Jaden away from saying anything more specific that might confirm the truth.
Simon steepled his hands beneath his chin and blew out a breath, seeming to search for the right words.
“Understand something, Jaden. Lyra wants Alpha. Maybe her getting it is a long shot, but she’s tough. It’s a real shot. More, it’s what she has always wanted, ever since she was a little kid beating up the boys at the park. If it comes out that you two are more than friends, it kills all of that for her, even just having a chance to lead. Life as she knows it would be over.”
“You want to be a little more specific?” Jaden asked quietly.
“Permanent exile. The pack would formally disown her. Everything and everyone she’s known would be taken from her, and if she ever showed her face on our territory again, she would be killed. No other pack would have her either. She would be what we call a ghost wolf. A shadow of what she was… and could have been.”