“Her?”
“Or him,” she amended quickly, briefly glancing his way.
“So what’s next?”
For a long time she didn’t say anything. Rich might have grown impatient with anyone else, but he found himself more tolerant with Jamie. He watched the emotions move across her face and tried to read her thoughts. It was impossible to know what she had on her mind, but whatever it was seemed to burden her.
“You’re going to think I’m a candidate for intensive counseling when I tell you this.”
“Try me.”
“I … I’ve made an appointment with my gynecologist. I want to discuss the possibility of being artificially inseminated.”
Rich was relieved that his mouth wasn’t full of coffee, otherwise he would’ve choked to death. “You’re going to do what?”
Jamie stood abruptly and walked around the back of his recliner. She braced her hands against the sides as she stood behind him. “I know it sounds crazy, but I plan to have a child, and if I can’t adopt, this was the best idea I could come up with.”
“What about checking with another adoption agency?”
“I did. Five others, and the story’s the same. If I want an infant, it’ll mean years on a waiting list. Two of the agencies wouldn’t even talk to me. The others tried to persuade me to become a foster parent with the hope of adopting at some point in the distant future. I want a baby. Is that so wrong?”
“No,” he assured her gently.
“I’m nearly thirty-two years old, and my biological clock is ticking. Not so loud it keeps me awake nights, but loud enough. If I’m going to do this, it’s got to be soon.” Jamie’s eyes filled with tears, but she was too proud and too stubborn to let them fall. Her gaze met his without wavering. Did she regret being honest because it forced her to reveal her deepest secrets?
“What about the father?” he mumured.
“I … I’m not sure. I’ve read everything I could find on the subject, which isn’t all that much. I understand there’s a sperm bank in our area. I don’t know what else to tell you, since I haven’t been to the doctor yet. I’ll have more answers once I’ve had a chance to talk it over with him.”
“I see.” Rich could hardly believe they were even having this discussion. “You’re positive you want to go through with this?” The minute he asked, he knew he’d made a mistake.
Steely determination shone from Jamie’s eyes. “I’m going to do this, Rich, so don’t try to talk me out of it.”
Her warning wasn’t necessary; he was well aware that any attempt to dissuade her would be pointless. “Are you worried about what people might say?” he asked. “Is that what’s bothering you?”
She shrugged. “A little. The biggest hurdle will be my mother, but I’m not too worried. It’s my life. Besides, she’s been after me to have children for years. Of course, she’d prefer it if I were married, but I’ve decided against that.” Her eyes met his again. She seemed nervous, edgy. Rich couldn’t remember Jamie being either. Until tonight.
“Something’s troubling you.”
She closed her eyes and nodded. “You’re just about the best friend I have.”
“I’m honored.”
“I have several close girlfriends. I’ve been a maid of honor twice and a bridesmaid three times. But when I found out about Tony, it was you I turned to. You’re the one I felt I could wake up in the middle of the night.”
“I feel the same way about you.”
Her smile was genuine, if a little shaky. “That pleases me more than you know. We’re good friends.”
“Good friends,” Rich echoed. Good enough for him to hand over two fifty-yard-line play-off tickets on the off-chance she might find happiness with Bill Hastings. He’d done it without pause, too.
“I’d do just about anything for you,” she said, eyeing him closely.
Rich didn’t know why he felt that was a leading statement, but he did. The door was wide open for him to echo the sentiment. “You’re special to me, too. Do you mind telling me exactly where this conversation is heading?”
Jamie came around the chair and sat on the sofa again. She leaned forward and rubbed her palms together, as though she was outside in below-freezing temperatures. She seemed more sure of herself now.
“You’re such a handsome guy.”
Rich frowned. “What’s that got to do with anything?”
“You come from a wonderful family.”
That was true enough. “So?”
“You’re tall. What I wouldn’t give for an extra two inches.”
“Jamie, what the hell are you talking about?”
She stood up, still rubbing her palms. Once more she positioned herself behind his recliner. “I … I was having dinner when it dawned on me exactly what I’d decided to undertake. I want a child and because I do, I’m willing to be subjected to heaven knows what kinds of medical procedures. I don’t care. It’s a small sacrifice, and I’m amenable to whatever it takes. The only aspect of this entire scenario that disturbs me is giving birth to a stranger’s child. A man I’ve never met, never even seen. Then it came to me. There’s one person, a man I admire and trust above all others. It didn’t make sense to go through all this and have a stranger’s baby when…when there’s already someone in my life who’s tall, dark and handsome. Someone with excellent chromosomes who might be willing to contribute to this project.”
“What are you saying?” Maybe she didn’t mean what he thought she meant. Maybe this was all a dream and he’d wake in the morning and have a good laugh. Maybe Jamie wasn’t wrong about the counseling. There seemed to be a hundred maybes in this. Rich didn’t like the answer to a single one of them.
Jamie looked into his eyes and smiled, the softest, sweetest smile he’d ever seen. “I’m asking you to be the sperm donor for my baby.”
Three
“Naturally, I don’t expect you to make a decision tonight,” Jamie added, walking around the recliner and sitting down again. She leaned back and crossed her legs, striking a relaxed pose.
Rich frowned. She sounded so casual, so comfortable with the idea. Mentioning it had obviously demanded courage, but now that her baby plan was out in the open, she seemed completely at ease.
But Rich wasn’t. His thoughts were in chaos.
“I …don’t know…what to say,” he stammered.
“I’m sure the whole thing comes as a shock,” she said. “I wish there was some way I could’ve led up to it with a little more tact, but I couldn’t think how to say it other than flat out. I didn’t want there to be any room for misunderstanding between us.”
Rich was standing now, although he couldn’t remember getting to his feet. “No…this is the best way.” He paced back and forth in front of the coffee table. “A baby,” he muttered, needing to hear himself say it aloud. He was trying to assimilate exactly what it was Jamie had suggested. He paused, waiting to be overwhelmed by objections, but apparently he was too numb to think clearly. Not a single protest occurred to him. Not one.
Questions. There were plenty of those. A few doubts and a whole lot of shock, but no real opposition. Although he’d thought there would be. Should be.
“Our baby,” she said, her smile serene—as if she was already pregnant and counting the days before their child’s birth.
Her attitude, the calm way she was watching him, unnerved Rich more than anything. He stalked into the kitchen, emptied his coffee mug and then refilled it. When he returned, he saw that Jamie was studying him closely.
“Say something.” Her confidence seemed to be shaken, and for his own peace of mind, Rich was relieved to see it. She’d been taking this in stride a little too easily.
“I don’t know what to say,” he admitted bluntly.
“It sounds preposterous to you, doesn’t it?”
“Yes,” he nearly shouted. Preposterous was putting it mildly. She was talking about creating a new life, one that would link them forever.
“Why?”
“Why?” He couldn’t believe she’d even ask such a thing. “You want me to father your child. A baby—any baby—is a huge responsibility and—”
“But that responsibility would be mine,” she said quickly, interrupting him. “Don’t worry, I wouldn’t ask for any support, financially or emotionally.”
That didn’t sit well with Rich, either. He put down his coffee, sank into the chair again and leaned forward, pressing his elbows to his knees. He needed to think but couldn’t seem to form a single coherent thought. “Let me see if I understand this correctly,” he said after a moment. “You don’t want anything from me other than a…biological contribution. I’d father your child, and that’s all.”
“For this to work, you’d—we’d both need to separate ourselves emotionally from the procedure. The baby would technically be yours, but only because of his or her genetic makeup. For all intents and purposes, the pregnancy and the child shouldn’t be any different than if I’d gone to a sperm bank.”
“In other words all you really want from me is my genes.”
“Yes,” she said, nodding emphatically. Her eyes briefly met his, and she appeared to have immediate second thoughts. “I know I’m making it all seem so callous, but that’s not my intention. There’s no one I trust more than you, no one else I feel comfortable approaching with this idea. If the doctor were to line up ten guys—ten strangers—and ask me to choose one of them to father my baby, I’d pick you instead. Knowing you and trusting you means so much to me. We’ve been friends since high school and that adds a whole other dimension to this.”
“I don’t know.…”
“I … I considered seducing you.”
This time, Rich was unfortunate enough to be in the process of swallowing a mouthful of coffee. It stuck halfway down his windpipe and completed its course only after a bout of violent coughing.
“Are you all right?” Jamie asked.
“You honestly considered seducing me?” That idea was even more ludicrous than the first one she’d had.
“Briefly,” she admitted. “But sex between us would upset everything, don’t you think? Your friendship’s far too valuable to me to ruin it over something physical.”
“I’m glad to hear it.” So she’d considered luring him into her bed. Jamie Warren was certainly full of surprises this evening.
“I’m…not sure I could’ve done it,” she said as she lowered her gaze to her hands, which were tightly clenched in her lap. “I mean…well, you know what I mean.”
Rich wasn’t convinced he did, but he pretended otherwise and simply nodded.
Jamie reached for her coffee and took one tentative sip. “Do you have any questions? I mean, I’m sure you do, and I want to reassure you in any way I can.”