She pushed aside her own feelings and her pride. "Grrr…" she growled as she unbuckled her seatbelt and gathered her purse.

"I hate myself… I hate myself…" she mumbled to herself as she finally broke down, opening the door and getting out of the car. Exhaling heavily, she humbled herself as looked upon the tall two-story house. She wanted to forget Jacob and forget his mother too; but they were still Jayden's family and despite her feelings she felt compelled to give it another try for his sake.

"Oh God…" She groaned as she reluctantly picked up first her right foot and then her left foot. Her legs felt heavy under her weight. She didn't want to do it- she really didn't want to do it. She felt as though she was walking the green mile; the final walk that death-row inmates took as they made their way to the executing chamber.

"Oh God, must I really do this again?" She whispered under her breath as she lowered her eyes. A painful lump formed in her throat and she knew it was her pride. Slowly she made her way back through the gate of their front yard, up the narrow cement walkway and up the three steep steps to the enclosed front porch. She crossed her arms over her chest as she unconsciously chewed at the skin on her lower lip. With a shaky hand she reached outward with a pointed finger and rang the doorbell. Ding-dong…ding-dong, the bell rang and Marla waited. She huffed and she puffed trying to release an easy sigh but her nerves were on edge. It seemed like it was taking even longer this time for someone to come to the door. Remembering Mrs. Ellis condition she waited a little longer; after all it was a little difficult for her to maneuver the wheelchair around the furniture and through the door way. Marla would be patient she thought as she tapped her foot anxiously against the cement step.

"Hmm, is anyone home?" She questioned herself after waiting another five minutes. Ding-dong…ding-dong she rang the doorbell again and waited. Still there was no answer after another ten minutes. Marla abruptly turned on her heels walking away.

* * * * * * *

Sunday 7:46 a.m. May, 1988 - Age 5 years 11 months

April spring showers bring busy May flowers; and so it was for Jayden a busy time as he raced around excitedly getting dressed for his big day. Kindergarten had proven to be an awakening for young Jayden. He learned that not every family had only a mom but there were even some that had daddies too. He learned that having a dad is fun; especially on school field trips and parent-child day when moms, dads and their children compete together in games and winning prizes; but most of all he learned that his dad was not around making him wonder why.




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