He involuntarily rolled his eyes at his mom as a heavy sigh escaped him. His mother killed him with that holier than thou attitude of hers. He was sick and tired of hearing about trusting God and having faith. Where was God when he wanted and needed to see his father when he had to cruelly watch all of his classmates playing happily with their fathers on father and son day? What about his graduations, birthdays and Christmas when he longed to see and spend time with his father?
What about the times he would go over his friend Avery's house and watch him and his father bonding, laughing and enjoying a Bull's basketball game, or the Bear's football game? How many times had he envied his father explaining plays and telling him background info about a team, players and coaches? Jayden couldn't help but cringing when he thought about the "sex talk" his mother had clumsily had with him. How awkward had his sixteenth birthday been? He couldn't stop the involuntary shudder that his body suddenly released remembering that time. He prayed to blacken that moment from his memories permanently.
"Why does she get to be my grandmother when it's convenient for her? Why do I get to be the one to the right thing? How come I have to be the bigger person?" He continued adamantly debating with her. Marla released a heavy sigh as she held her head and silently prayed for patience, wisdom and understanding. She too was a little miff about having to instill in her son a sense of family, right and wrong and familial duties.
"Jayden what's the alternative? Two wrongs don't make a right. You know if you don't do this, then you'll be just like him. Is that what you want? The cycle stops with you right now." She stopped his rant with her carefully chosen words and Jayden hated her for it. He hated the fact that she could reason him into guilt making him see the bigger picture; goading him into a maturity that he didn't have or even want. He didn't want to be the bigger person and he didn't want to do the right thing. He didn't want to be able to judge right from wrong. He only wanted to satisfy his own pride; and his mother was getting in his way. As much as he had always admired his mom for never saying anything negative about his father sometimes he hated the fact that she always did the right thing. Just once he would like for her to call his father exactly what he was: "a no-good, deadbeat, no show dad" who had abandoned his son. Just once instead of his mother pointing out the only two good qualities that the man had, he wished just once she would point out some of his flaws.