On Wednesday morning I received a reply from Maurice at Deauville--he
hastened to answer he said--He had heard of Miss Sharp through a man in
the American Red Cross, where Miss Sharp had been employed. He knew
nothing more about her, he had seen her once when he was interviewing
her, and Miss whatever the other woman's name was, he had forgotten
now--and he had thought her suitable and plain and capable, that is all.
I had tried to word my letter not to give the impression of peculiar
interest, but no doubt Coralie, who had returned to the band on Monday,
had given him her view of the case, for he added that these people were
often designing although they looked simple--and in my loneliness he
felt sure I would be happier and better at the sea with my friends--!
I would have been angry, only there was something humorous in the way
everyone seems to think I am incapable of managing my own affairs!--What
is it they all want of me--? Not that I should be happy in my own way,
but that I should contribute to their happiness--they want to
participate in what my money is able to procure--and they do not want
interference from outside. Every one of my friends--and relations--would
be hostile if I were to announce that I was in love with Miss Sharp, and
wanted to marry her--Even though it was proved to them that she was
pretty--a perfect lady--intelligent--virtuous--clever! She is not of
their set and might, and probably would, be a stumbling block in their
path when they wished to make use of me!--so she would be taboo! None of
them would put it in that way of course, their opposition would be (and
they might even think they were sincere) because they were thinking of
my happiness!
Burton is the only person whose sympathy I could count upon!
How about the Duchesse?--that is the deepest mystery of all--I must find
out from Burton what was the date about when she came to my
appartement and found Alathea. Was it before that time when she asked
me if I were in love--and I saw that dear little figure in the
passage?--Could she have been thinking of her--?
By Thursday when there was no further news I began to feel so restless
that I determined to go back to Paris the following week. It was all
very well to be out in the parc at Versailles with a mind at ease, but
it feels too far away when I am so troubled.
I sent Burton in on Friday to Auteuil--.