Zander frowned thoughtfully. He hadn’t considered that before. “Maybe.” Right then, it didn’t matter. He cupped her jaw, letting his gaze roam over her face. “Such big eyes.”
She swallowed at the possessiveness in his voice. “Aren’t you supposed to be pissed at me for not pouring out my life story?”
“You’re not going to cause an argument, baby, if that’s your game.”
“I don’t have a game. I have a problem with people thinking I have to justify myself to them. There’s a good reason why I don’t tell people shit about my past—there’s nothing good to share from before I went into foster care.”
“Gwen—”
“When people learn that my mom’s a stripper, my stepdad’s a drunk, and my dad’s a drug dealer, they look at me differently. I’m the same Gwen you impaled on your cock last night. But because you discovered my biological father is a drug-dealing equivalent of a Nazi, you were looking at me like you’d never seen me before.” And that hurt, even as she wished it didn’t. “You know what? It doesn’t matter.”
He crowded her, shaking his head. “Oh, no, you don’t.”
Her brows snapped together. “What?”
“You’re pouncing on this as an excuse to push me away.” He could literally see her bolstering her defenses. “Let’s get a few things perfectly straight. You’re right; you don’t have to justify yourself to me. I was mostly mad because I didn’t like learning something so significant about you from my Betas. I would rather have heard it from you. It hurt, so, yeah, I overreacted a little.
“I understand your privacy is important to you. Neither me nor my pack meant to hit any hot buttons. But I’d do the same search on any stranger that hung around you . . . because you matter, and I’d put your safety before another person’s right to privacy. I won’t apologize for that, so I can’t expect my pack to apologize for putting my safety first either. Also, I don’t believe you’re anything like Cogman. I’d have already sensed it if you were.”
“Maybe I’m a good actress.”
“And maybe you’re someone who’s trying to atone for the sins of her father—that’s not something you need to do.”
Gwen perched her hands on her hips. “I’m not trying to atone for Kenny’s fucked-up mistakes. No amount of good deeds from me would manage that.” The guy was plain cruel. “This isn’t about me or anything I went through. It’s about Andie. I’m helping her because I want to, because she deserves justice, and because Brandt needs to pay. That’s it. My childhood . . . it’s not relevant here. None of it matters anyway. It’s in the past.”
Oh, it matters, thought Zander. If it hadn’t, she’d have looked her cool and casual self. Right then, she looked like someone who’d been jammed in an elevator too long. He’d have expected defensiveness or anger, but not the panic he could scent. And then he understood.
Zander framed her face with his hands. “It’s not just that you’re highly private, is it, baby? It’s not even that your natural instinct is to keep things to yourself. You avoid talking of your childhood because you never feel far enough away from it.” Her eyes flickered, and he knew he’d hit the nail on the head. “I didn’t see that before. Should have. I blame your legs. They’re too damn distracting. Your eyes too. And your mouth.”
He kissed said mouth, indulging in a long, thorough taste of her. His cock, already hard at just the sight of her naked, throbbed painfully. But she needed to rest, not to get fucked into the mattress. So he settled them both in bed, curving himself around her. “Sleep, Gwen.”
Gwen licked her lips. She should probably tell him to go after the shit he’d pulled earlier. But, well, she didn’t want to be alone right then. She was still a little shaken from the attack, and he made her feel safe. Still . . . “I’m not sure I can sleep.”
“It’s not complex, baby. Close your eyes. Relax. Don’t think.” He almost smiled at her long-suffering sigh. Within minutes, her breathing evened out, and she sagged into the bed. Only then did he close his eyes, but sleep didn’t come to him. It probably wouldn’t come for a while.
His anger was still too hot, his need for vengeance still too strong. He was also mad at himself for pushing her buttons earlier, for being too wrapped up in his own hurt to truly consider both sides of the situation. It was all part of empathy not being his strong point. Still, he’d been an asshole, and he knew it.
Zander wouldn’t allow her to push him away, though. He wouldn’t let them go back to square one. He definitely wouldn’t pack his shit and leave. She was stubborn as hell, but he could be very persuasive when he wanted something. He’d use those powers of persuasion tomorrow.
CHAPTER TEN
She was in a good mood. Mostly because she’d woken to a tongue stabbing inside her. Better than any alarm, in Gwen’s opinion.
Of course, she’d known it was an attempt to soften her up so that she didn’t insist on Zander and his pack mates leaving. It hadn’t worked. Really, it was the apology he’d delivered straight after making her come that earned him her forgiveness. It hadn’t been a long, heartfelt apology. It had been quick, straight, and offered no excuses—she respected that, and she preferred it to soppy words.
Not that she thought for a single moment that he wouldn’t ever again push her buttons. He’d even do it purposely if he thought it was necessary. He’d continue to shove his way into her business because, as she’d quickly come to learn, Zander Devlin was a nosy and often interfering bastard who had absolutely no quit in him.
He might not be a born Alpha, predestined to lead a pack, but he was the typical alpha male that could be found in most species. That meant he came with some traits that were often problematic for females. Dominant. Assertive. Persistent. Stubborn. Controlling in his efforts to protect and defend.
Gwen didn’t see the point in expecting anything different from him; she’d only be driving herself insane if she did. And holding grudges was a lot like swallowing poison—you were only hurting yourself.
Besides, he’d . . . well, he’d been good to her last night. He’d not only killed two of her attackers and then tried to hunt the rest of the flock, he’d comforted her, cleaned her up, taken care of her, and held her while she slept. Yeah, okay, he partly did the latter things to help himself calm down, but there were plenty of other ways for a person to calm down. He’d chosen to be with her.