Loving Lawson
Page 28Well, never mind. That was a dark thought to have.
Maybe just Tru?
The sound of a key in the front door stirred me straight out of my scary thoughts. My heart skipped a beat as it swung open, and I was waiting for the sound of a giggle to fill the air, or a pair of long legs to come swooping into the room. But only one body came through the door.
Heath.
He was dishevelled, his workout tee sweaty and his jeans hanging low. His movements were slow. He shut the door and ran a hand through his inch long dark hair without appearing one bit drunk. It was nearly one in the morning, so I’d assumed he would be.
I’d been standing so still and silent, he hadn’t noticed me until he turned his body to the kitchen. When his eyes locked to mine, he stopped moving. I studied that face, locking my gaze for a second on his mouth that was slightly parted. Had they been ravaged? They didn’t look swollen. His body glistened with sweat, making his large muscled frame look more cut and pronounced. What had him so worked up?
“Did you have a good night?” I found myself asking, not masking the bitterness in my voice. I was never good at this. I always walked away before a confrontation. I didn’t like fights, but after all these weeks spending time with him and seeing him watch me, I was devastated and confused. “Did you party it up after your win? Is that why you were out for so long?”
He didn’t respond. He just stared at me. Something was very off. I didn’t like the feeling. Didn’t understand what it meant, and it was starting to anger me. I wanted some kind of reaction out of him, dammit.
“Hope you put those condoms to use too,” I added, even though every part of me was trembling.
His body stiffened and he took a sharp breath in.
“Were you with a girl?” I let out, and I instantly felt stupid for asking. I bit my lip hard as my eyes watered.
Emotion broke through and he looked angered by my question. “Why does it matter to you?” he retorted. “Why ask that?”
I didn’t respond. He took a step forward, his body suddenly taking on a threatening look as he angrily pointed at me and said, “Why aren’t you answering, Allie? Don’t like it when you’re the one being goaded with questions?”
I scowled at him and turned to leave.
“Don’t fucking walk away,” he said, causing me to halt in my steps. “How about answering me, huh? Why does it matter to you if I was with a girl?”
“It doesn’t,” I shot back.
“It doesn’t?” he repeated in scepticism. “Then why ask, Allie?”
I took a few more steps, turning my back to him. God, I’d opened up a can of worms with that one. I shouldn’t have questioned him like that! Shit, what was wrong with me?
“Why can’t you admit what you feel?”
“Like hell you don’t know what I’m talking about!”
“I don’t feel anything for you –”
He suddenly came at me, moving fast, still that look of anger and… something else. Determination? Want? Christ, I didn’t know. I was too busy trying to stop my heart from jumping out of my chest when he slammed straight into me, knocking me back a step as he smashed his mouth to mine. I would have fallen back had he not already gripped me around the waist.
His kiss was hard, but his lips were soft and wet. I immediately found myself relaxing in his hold, shutting my eyes as the kiss took over every part of me. I kissed him back with equal passion, bringing my hand up his hard chest and around his neck. God, he could kiss.
He suddenly pulled back and stared down at me, leaving me stunned as he said, “I fucking knew it. You’re not so immune to me after all.”
My eyes widened in shock. I felt like I’d been kicked in the stomach. He kissed me just to prove I felt something for him? I brought my hand back down and tried pushing him away in my anger, but he wouldn’t let me go.
“Get your hands off of me,” I told him, realizing for the first time since he came home that we’d never spoken to each other so negatively before.
“No,” he said, gripping me tighter to him, until his entire body was pressed against me. He was so warm. All my body wanted to do was sag and let him do what he wanted with me, but I couldn’t allow that.
“Stop,” I pressed again, wondering for a second if I was talking to him or myself.
“Because it’s wrong.”
He took my words into consideration. Breathing slowly as he eyed me. Meanwhile, I was panting, waiting for him to say something.
His arms loosened. My heart crashed as he took a step back and ran a hand through his hair. I didn’t pause to take in that troubled look on his face. I took off back to my room where I shut the door and stood in the dark. When I heard no movement, my shoulders sagged and I collapsed into bed. I closed my eyes tightly and breathed through my mouth slowly. My whole body was hot with nerves. What the hell just happened? He kissed me, and I returned that bloody kiss with everything inside of me. He knew exactly how I felt about him!
I was scared now of what he thought of me. The last thing I wanted was to throw a wedge between us and push him away. Who would want to be around a hormonal, pregnant girl whose baby belonged to your brother and was jealous and needy of you instead? Yeah, I totally messed things up. I wanted to crawl under my bed and die of this humiliation. The morning was going to bring the awkwardness right on back with a force of a goddamn tidal wave.
But, god, he kissed me! He didn’t have to do that to prove a point. I was beginning to think he regretted it. Why else would he back away from me like that?
The door suddenly creaked and my eyes shot open. I looked at the dark doorway and saw his still figure taking up most of the frame, reminding me how large he was. His arms were against each side, and he was leaning forward. I couldn’t see his face clearly, but I could feel those intense eyes drilling holes in my head.