I wished I had an umbrella to shield me from the rain. I flipped up the little collar of my shirt just to keep the water from dripping down my back.
Two men were standing near the corner, huddled next to a building, wearing plastic rain jackets. Both of them held cameras with long, white lenses covered by a clear plastic sheath. Their lenses pointed towards the opposite street corner.
I looked across the street to the window. There was the restaurant and there was Ryan, visible from the street. My breath caught from seeing him. Rain dripped from my hair and down my face; my mascara bled and burned my eyes as I tried to focus through the downpour.
I saw Ryan lift Lauren’s hand off the table. The two cameras clicked in a rhythmic hum.
He twisted the ring on her finger.
I felt the tears build in my eyes and unbearable pain cracked into my chest.
He picked her hand up and wrapped it in his, smiling at her before kissing her fingertips.
Horror and denial swirled through my soul like toxic fumes.
“No,” I whispered out in pain.
Then Ryan stood up from his chair, leaned across the table, and pressed his lips to hers. Right there in public… The cameras sounded like the knives that sliced my heart to shreds.
Anger, resentment, and pure hatred welled in me as the last fragment of my heart was torn from my chest. I made it halfway across the street before I was stopped by oncoming traffic.
A car came screeching to a halt, hydroplaning in the rain and missing me by inches. I was frozen in place; my eyes were locked on Ryan’s face.
No other vision mattered.
The driver honked his horn repeatedly, but I couldn’t move. Part of me wished he would just hit me and end the pain once and for all.
Do it! Hit the gas and finish me!
Lightning flashed over my head but I didn’t flinch this time. It would take a direct hit by a bolt of electricity to restart my heart.
The driver was impatient; his hand stayed on the horn longer the second time.
“Why?” I sobbed in the street. Losing our unborn child was nothing compared to the excruciating pain I felt now.
Right at that moment, it happened – before my very eyes – my greatest love turned into nothing more than another man I wasn’t good enough for.
“Hey lady! Get out of the street!” the driver yelled at me through his open car window, blaring his horn at me again. I glanced in his direction; his viscous tone distracted me.“What the hell is wrong with you? Are you trying to get yourself killed?” the man continued shouting.
What the hell was wrong with me?
The lights of the oncoming traffic made starbursts in my blurry eyes. I was crying so hard that I forgot where I was for a second. My feet moved unconsciously; I followed the yellow lines, hoping they would lead me to a place where the pain would stop.
My fingers found a door handle in the dark. I dropped Lauren’s poison-penned note, leaving it behind on the sidewalk. I didn’t need it with me anymore. I had witnessed all the proof I needed with my own eyes.
“Taryn!” my memory called out in a muffled tone, strangely in the sound of Ryan’s voice, but I couldn’t respond to it. Darkness had already taken me under.
“Where to Miss?” Some man asked me. “Miss?”
“Hu… home,” I breathed.
“And where is home?” the man asked.
My lips quivered as I found the will to speak. “Airport.”
Desolation and despair enveloped me again, choking my ability to breathe. All my hopes and dreams that involved Ryan were shattered.
My phone chimed that stupid ringtone, reminding me of his biggest lie that crushed my soul... he wasn’t mine anymore.
I rolled the car window down and tossed out my cell phone, releasing his song to the wind.
“Taryn?” I heard a man’s voice calling my name. My mind must really be playing tricks on me. Now I’m hearing voices. So this is what a nervous breakdown feels like. At least I’m not crying anymore.
“Taryn, wait up.”
My legs trudged on their own, instinctively following the rest of the people hurrying around me. If I follow them far enough, maybe the flashing lights will stop?
“Hey! What are you doing in the airport?”
My eyes glanced over to my right; someone was talking to me. That’s when I noticed Kyle’s face.
“Stop taking her picture! Enough guys!” he yelled.
I saw an arm press out in front of me, shielding me.
“Why are you soaking wet?” Kyle asked quietly. “Taryn, just keep walking.” Something annoying was pushing into my back, forcing me to walk forward faster.