I let out a sigh and lifted Sarah up so I could fix her yellow tights over her new diaper. I gave her a few kisses on her forehead while she played with my heart necklace.

Ryan turned the television off and threw the remote onto the couch behind me. He looked like he just got punched in the stomach.

I reached out to him. We were both upset from seeing that garbage on TV. Ryan slowly moved to sit next to me on the floor. We leaned back on the couch and looked at each other. Ryan rested his arm behind me, combing his fingers into my hair; his other hand gently rubbed through Sarah’s little brown curls. He sighed heavily and I knew he was agitated.

I leaned over and kissed his lips, just to let him know that everything would be all right. His fingers tensed and pressed into my scalp, holding my kiss tenderly to his. His lips were troubled.

I wondered which one of us would crack from the bullshit first.

I spent the rest of the afternoon helping his mom in the kitchen. She was preparing a feast for Thanksgiving and I wondered just exactly who she thought was going to eat all of it. I handled making the brine for the turkey. His mom watched me intently as I mixed the concoction.

I was standing at the sink when Ryan came up behind me, holding me in place again with his long arms. He brushed my hair off my shoulder and drifted the tip of his nose up and down my neck. I tried to keep the volume of my moan turned down.

“As much as it warms my heart to see my son happy and in love, get the hell away from my helper,” Ellen squealed.

“You’ve had her long enough, Mom. We’ve got to go get ready for the game. Our car will be here in an hour.”

Soon after Nick and Janelle arrived, the sleek black stretch limousine pulled into the driveway. The four of us were going to the game together;

Ryan’s parents were watching Sarah for the evening.

“You should come home more often!” Nick teased Ryan, noting that the limo was fully stocked with beer, liquor, and two bottles of champagne.

Janelle was preoccupied; eventually she pulled a magazine out of her purse.

“Here, I thought you two might want to keep this one!” she teased and tossed the glossy paper onto Ryan’s lap.

Ryan took a sip off of the champagne bottle he and I were sharing and narrowed his eyes on the cover. He handed me the bottle and turned the little light on above his head so he could get a better look.

Ryan and I were on the cover – the entire cover. We were both dressed up and it was apparent to me that the photo was taken on the night we took his parents to dinner. The caption below our bodies read “Ryan’s in love!” Next to our photo were several side notes under the bold letters “Ryan Christensen shows off new girlfriend.” The additions informed the world that he was living with me in our “Love nest in RI” and that he had introduced me to his parents.

“Well, at least it’s a nice picture of us!” Ryan stated indifferently.

“The story isn’t bad either,” Janelle added. “I thought it was something you might want to keep, you know.” She looked unsure.

Ryan handed it to me with a smirky grin on his lips. “I’m sure you want to read it.”

I set the magazine down next to me on the seat and took another sip of champagne from the bottle. I could only imagine the horrible things that were said about me in there. It would only take seeing one negative comment about either one of us to send me into my own downward spiral.

Ryan gave me a perplexed look. He presumed I would have ripped the magazine open immediately, dying to know what was written.

“I’m not reading that now. I’d rather not cry my eyes out before a hockey game,” I whispered.

“Why?” Janelle asked. “It’s not bad. Really!”

I disagreed. “I just know there are lies printed in it. There always are. I’ve been blamed for breaking him and Suzanne up, for causing rifts on set between the actors. They print that I’m keeping him from seeing all of his friends. I even lost out on the national poll on which girl the public would rather see him with. Suzanne won with 72%.”

I rubbed my cheek, trying to keep from getting upset.

“Well there’s nothing like that in this one,” Janelle admitted.

“I’m sure there is,” I muttered, pushing the magazine further away. It was the paper version of poison to me. “Every one of these writers seems to have the need to get at least one good dig in. I don’t understand why they feel I’m not good enough.”

“Honey! Who gives a shit what they write?” Ryan stated. “I sure don’t.”




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