I just made my non-complicated relationship complicated. I mentally clap at myself. Not a round-of-applause clap, but that awkward slow clap when someone you know has just been el retardo. I sigh and lean my head against the wall of the shower.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
I’ve got to get my shit together. And quick. I say I give him one - no - two days without me before he comes crawling back. Smirking at the thought, I exit the shower and dress for the day. When I’m done, I head into the kitchen and see the box of rice puffs and a dirty bowl on the kitchen counter.
The ass had breakfast here. Of course he did. Why not just dirty all my dishes to piss me off even more? I shake my head and put the dirty bowl in the sink, go to the fridge to get some milk, then pick up a spoon and fresh bowl for myself. I sit at a stool at the counter, take my box of cereal and pour.
One rice puff falls into my bowl.
Frowning, I look into the box. And it’s fucking empty.
Oh, that is it!
Grabbing my keys, I storm over to Ghost’s and open the door and yell, “If you finish my goddamn cereal, replace the fucker next time!”
Ghost walks out of his bedroom buck naked and wet from the shower. His ashy hair is almost brown wet and, scars or not, his body is rocking. I try not to but I stare at his dick. All of a sudden, I’m salivating. When he reaches down to palm his hardening shaft, I snap my eyes up to look at him. He smirks, “Hungry, babe?”
I want to beg him to let me suck him, but instead I snap, “Fuck you, Ghost.”
His eyes widen and he looks pissed when he says, “I’ve been degraded to Ghost now?”
Hmmm.
Seems he’s right. He must revert back to Ghost when I’m pissed at him. Interesting.
Unsure what else to say, I spin on my heel and leave. When I walk through the door, I yell out, “Replace the fucking cereal, bitch!”
My blood boils when I hear him laugh.
This is not going well.
***
Today at the store, the girls were trying to get me out of my bad mood all day long. Tina bribed me with cake, Mimi told me about her sexcapades with Shawna, and Lola bought me a double dark chocolate buzz from Winnies. Nothing worked.
On the way home, I stopped and got a burger for dinner. That’s how shitty I felt.
Burger bad.
I know I shouldn’t have snapped at Ash the way I did for something he isn’t even aware of, but fuck, the man is infuriating sometimes. Eating my damn cereal was the last straw.
I eat my burger in the car on the way home. When I open the door to my apartment, something’s off. I look around trying to figure out what it can be, but I can’t see anything different. I’m sure I’m imagining things, so I strip off my clothes on the way to the bathroom and have a nice hot shower. Today I decide on chamomile lavender body wash. The froth feels so nice on me, like a mini massage, and today’s stresses seem to disappear.
When I’m done, I dress in my jammies and head into the kitchen. There’s a note on the pantry. I unstick it and read.
Replaced your cereal, your highness. I hope ten boxes are okay. Ghost.
Ghost is underlined three times. I think I might’ve hurt his feelings with that, but I’m appeased by the fact that he took the time out to buy me more cereal. Ten boxes was overkill but it’s all good. I don’t know what makes me do it, but I’m curious to see the boxes of cereal. Somehow I think it’ll make me feel even better.
I open the pantry and freeze.
***
I watch on the newly installed CCTV as the ten boxes of rice puffs that I unboxed and crammed into the pantry fall into a small mountain at Nat’s feet.
And I laugh and laugh and laugh my fucking ass off.
She tries to move but with every step she takes, more rice puffs scatter and she continuously slips on them. I laugh so hard I have to hold my stomach. This is the funniest shit I’ve ever seen. Who needs the internet when I have my own version of comedy living next door. She tries in vain to stand but slips again and again. Finally giving up, her face falls before she squeals at the top of her lungs in frustration.
And it all starts again. I laugh my ass off.
I’m surprised that she doesn’t clean the mess, just sweeps it into a corner and leaves it. Obviously had enough for the day, she heads off to bed. I switch cameras and turn on the night vision as she gets into bed.
Is what I’m doing creepy? Maybe.
Do I care? I’m not a known giver of fucks. No.
My eyebrows lift as I see her reach into her underwear drawer for something. As soon as she puts it between her legs, my eyes roll back and my dick hardens.
The little minx is using her vibrator.
Zooming in to get a better look at her, I stroke myself and watch her try to pleasure herself. She alternates using her hand and the vibrator, then using the vibrator while she stokes her clit, then using the vibrator while she pinches her nipples. Nothing. She can’t do it. She throws the vibrator across the room in frustration and although I can’t hear her, she smacks at the bed and her mouth moves rapidly. I smirk. Probably cursing me to hell for spoiling her so much she can’t get off.
Either way, that was sexy as hell and one for the spank bank.
I can’t believe she didn’t see the cameras when she came in from work. They aren’t exactly invisible.
It’s late and I decide to call it a night. When I settle in bed, I palm myself while thinking of Nat using her vibrator. Hot as hell.
Then I remember the rice puffs. And I laugh and laugh and laugh.
For the first night in twenty five years, I fall asleep with a smile on my face.
***
Early morning, my alarm goes off. It’s 5:25am and I get ready for my mission by dressing in black sweat pants and a black tee. As soon as I walk into my kitchen, I go through my cupboards and find the biggest container I have and load the rice puffs into it. It’s early as hell, but I find the will to make pancakes too. I take everything over to Asher’s bit by bit, and when everything is ready, I take a look at my canvas. His apartment is pretty bare making my work all too easy.
Making my way into his kitchen, I take out the super glue and get to work, grinning all the while.
No one fucks with a Kovac.
***
My alarm goes off and as I switch it off, I hear my front door close. My brow furrows.
It’s too early to deal with any bullshit.
Sighing, I get out of bed and walk out my bedroom door only to kick a plate on the floor. I pick up the plate which has three pancakes on it. They’re hot and smell good, loaded with butter and syrup. I smile to myself. This must be Nat’s way of apologizing for being a crazy-assed demon lady. I roll up one of the pancakes and take a bite. It’s delicious. I walk into the kitchen with my eyes closed in bliss and continue eating. When I reach the kitchen counter, I wash my syrup covered hands and put the dirty dish in the sink. There’s a note on the counter, I unfold it and read.
Enjoy your breakfast!