To survive in it, Ellie would have to grow more aggressive, callous even. He'd told her that the ones who survived longest were the notorious ones, the immortals with reputations based on some bold coup or brave deed.
In prison, she'd worked so hard to hold on to her humanity. Now she would be expected to throw it away.
Did she want to be with him badly enough? To change herself so drastically?
If she loved him, she might. But she didn't. Not at all. Mind over mind. Only a fool would love him. . ..
Besides, every time she felt like she was in danger of falling for him, they'd have an argument over something.
A few nights ago, when he'd been obsessively poring over his prized account book, she'd cleaned up some debris from his various rages and washed their linens.
He'd been aghast. "You . . . you cleaned?"
"Someone had to. I don't like sleeping on dirty sheets."
"Until we can hire servants, we transfer to another room. Another property, even! No Bride of mine cleans."
"You keep trying to change me, the way I talk and act. You're gonna alter my very species to fit yours. When will you change something for me?"
"This ancient dog will learn no new tricks. Besides, it's a female's place to adjust to her male."
Ellie had bitten her tongue to keep from screaming at him. At times with him, she bit her tongue so hard it'd bleed.
And they'd quarreled because of his irrational jealousy. One night, he'd taken her to a creek she used to swim in when younger. "Why did you bring me here, Lothaire?"
"You once liked this place."
She'd loved it there. Yet her thrill over the thoughtful gesture had faded directly. "How'd you know that?" The vampire must have seen her here-at night. "You spied on me?"
"I spy on everyone. Why would you be different? Soon you will go spying with me."
Then realization had dawned. "Oh, my God, you're the one who hurt Davis, the boy I was with. You saw us together, and you threw him down a gully. He broke both of his legs!"
"He lived?" Gaze narrowing, Lothaire had murmured, "Not for much longer."
Ellie had barely kept him from searching out her old beau with intent to do murder.
Getting him to forgive Thaddeus was just as much of an uphill battle. "Come on, Lothaire," Ellie had said. "He only wants to visit us at Hag's. He can help guard me when you're away."
"Forget it."
"He's your best friend." Not necessarily because Lothaire cared anything about Thaddeus, but because the boy cared more about Lothaire than anyone else in the Lore did.
"How do I know you won't mortify him with more of your kisses?"
"Because you know I'm infatuated only with you. Besides, you can trust him. Any other man would have kissed me back." When he remained unmoved, she'd cried, "You're jealous of an eighteen-year-old boy!"
"He's seventeen."
Eventually, she'd won Lothaire over. Or so she'd thought. At Hag's, he'd backed the boy into a wall, expression brimming with malice. "Elizabeth Daciano is my woman."
Thad had swallowed. "And she sure is a nice one, Mr. Lothaire."
"Keep your mouth to yourself today, boy, or your spine will decorate our mantel. . . ."
But after her fights with Lothaire, whenever he found her pensive, he surprised her with new gifts. He'd brought her jewels from all over the world. Ellie's own jewels. She supposed the others were hers, too, but these new ones were special because he'd chosen them specifically for her.
Or he would surprise her with wicked sex. Her sensual vampire had so many tricks up his sleeve, and as he'd grown more comfortable controlling his strength with her, he'd unveiled one after another.
Yet each new move made her wonder how many stunning immortal females he'd practiced it on before her. He'd once told her he'd bedded a new one each night: fey courtesans, nymph barmaids, the occasional demon shepherdess.
But never a human of course-
He suddenly took her hand. Hers fit into his as if it were a glove made for her. She peeked up at him from under her lashes and sighed.
Lothaire was like a pale-haired god beside her.
He paused then, looking as if he'd say something, but he closed his mouth, walking on.
Would kill to know what you're thinking. . . . Ellie didn't want to break this tenuous truce with him, didn't want to spoil this honeymoon period. But at the earliest opportunity, she needed to know how they were going to evict the goddess.
The night that they'd exchanged their vows, Ellie had been too frazzled by all the developments to realize something critical. When she'd asked him how they would get rid of Saroya, Lothaire had answered, "The ring's still in play, is it not?"
Classic Lothaire-speak.
She'd been just as disingenuous, promising him that she would get past all the things he'd done to her. At the time, she would've said anything. She'd recognized that she had him on the ropes, and damn it, she'd wanted to live.
Now, even as she held his hand and leaned into his strong arm, she wondered if she could keep her word.
She did truly want to work through her resentment-instead of just lying to him about it and snapping her mental rubber band.
But how could she get past his treatment of her when everything he was doing now only reminded her of it?
His telling her she'd never see her family again brought to mind how he'd threatened them so cruelly. Not to mention the fact that he'd stuck her on death row. She tried to reason that he'd prevented Saroya from killing by locking Ellie away. She told herself that he'd saved lives.
Ellie told herself that a lot.
And though she'd taken Hag's contraception potion, he still pulled out during sex. Not that she wanted to get pregnant right now or anything, but he must be horrified by the idea of a part-human heir.
Every time he left his seed anywhere but in her, he reminded her of all his many insults.
Weak mortal, stupid human. No one had ever made her feel so lacking.
It wasn't as if he'd changed his mind about what she was, accepting her; he was merely looking forward to the time when she'd be made different.
Take away the difference in their species and they were still worlds apart. He was royalty. She was . . . Ellie. Does he still consider me just a "backward and vulgar hillbilly"? He'll probably be embarrassed of me around others.
God, that hurts.
And how could she get comfortable with him, when she sensed how dangerous-and evil-he still was?
She'd been proud of him because he hadn't wanted to behead his
friend.
Way to set the bar there, Ellie. . . .
He stopped walking, drawing her close. "If you could have any gift, what would it be?" The breeze whipped his hair across his lean cheeks. "No expense is too great."
"Paying off my family's mountain. Maybe having a place near them."
"Elizabeth . . ." he said warningly. In the moonlight, his eyes gleamed like an animal's caught in a headlight.