When she wanted to give Qin Yinan a Christmas surprise and went up north to find him, she had returned devastated. It was Su Zhinian who had gone to fetch her at the airport at midnight.
In the dreary third year of high school, gaming with him had been her only entertainment.
He was her teenage nightmare, and they had parted in the summer after a huge fight.
Several years later, when they met again, it was him who revived Song Empire from the clutches of death; it was him who saved her from the brink of death multiple times; it was him who saved her from the cage that was Qin Yinan; it was him who gave her the greatest care and the deepest pain.
This is a normal biological reaction; it has nothing to do with feelings…
But being aroused doesn’t necessarily means that I will take you…
As these voices drilled into her mind, Song Qingchun stood there dazed and completely forgot to follow the melody of the song. The students who were playing in the band all turned to look at her, the back-up singers still humming to aid her.
However, the girl seemed to have retreated into her own world. She stood there unmoving, the many variations of his face appearing before her eyes… icy, gentle, cold, anxious, angry, condescending, cruel…
When I’m sober, I will not lay a finger on you…
To be honest, if not for your resemblance to Tingting, I wouldn’t even have laid an eye on you.
His and her story had begun so beautiful.
His and her story had so many twists and turns in the middle.
So how come his and her story had such a bitter ending?
But if you’re really that desperate for me to fill the void within you, that’s fine, because I don’t mind using you to fulfil my own fantasy…
Even if we sleep together, it doesn’t mean that I’m interested in you; that’s only because you look so much like her. You’ll always only be her substitute…
She felt like her tears were coming, but her eyes were incredibly dry. The greatest pain, she realized then, was when you wanted to cry but the tears were already dry, because it was the heart that was weeping.
She slowly came to when the song almost reached the end. She heard the students around her singing the lyrics.
“I don’t necessary need you back;
“Just that whenever I am watching the ocean alone,
“I am not the fatigued silhouette you see;
“I’m not the looking the way you would want to see me.”
Song Qingchun’s lips moved, and like a robot, she followed them mechanically.
“I don’t necessary need you back;
“It’s just that whenever I walk alone into the crowd,
“My independence is gone;
“Who will teach me to be courageous?”
Her courage to seek love traded for a loss of the man and a pain that could last for thousands of miles.
That love, she really did not know how to let it go even though she knew she had to because eventually she had to return to the crowd… alone.
She did not really need him to return, but…
Song Qingchun, with her quivering lips, finished the song.
“My independence is gone;
“Who will teach me to be courageous?”
Then, the song ended. Song Qingchun passed the microphone to the female student who was standing nearby. Accepting the girl’s thanks, she nodded gently with a “you’re welcome” before turning to walk away.
She walked for some time before halting in her steps.
Before her was a stream of endless traffic, and there was cheer of happiness coming from the garden behind her.