She laid her hand on his arm. She did nothing more. She gently touched

him. The trembling hand may have said, with some expression, 'Think of

me, think how I have worked, think of my many cares!' But she said not a

syllable herself. There was a reproach in the touch so addressed to him that she had

not foreseen, or she would have withheld her hand. He began to justify

himself in a heated, stumbling, angry manner, which made nothing of it.

'I was there all those years. I was--ha--universally acknowledged as

the head of the place. I--hum--I caused you to be respected there, Amy.

I--ha hum--I gave my family a position there. I deserve a return. I

claim a return. I say, sweep it off the face of the earth and begin

afresh.

Is that much? I ask, is that much?' He did not once look at her,

as he rambled on in this way; but gesticulated at, and appealed to, the

empty air. 'I have suffered. Probably I know how much I have suffered better than

any one--ha--I say than any one! If I can put that aside, if I can

eradicate the marks of what I have endured, and can emerge before the

world--a--ha--gentleman unspoiled, unspotted--is it a great deal to

expect--I say again, is it a great deal to expect--that my children

should--hum--do the same and sweep that accursed experience off the face

of the earth?' In spite of his flustered state, he made all these exclamations in a

carefully suppressed voice, lest the valet should overhear anything.

'Accordingly, they do it. Your sister does it. Your brother does it. You

alone, my favourite child, whom I made the friend and companion of my

life when you were a mere--hum--Baby, do not do it.

You alone say you can't do it. I provide you with valuable assistance to

do it. I attach an accomplished and highly bred lady--ha--Mrs General,

to you, for the purpose of doing it. Is it surprising that I should be

displeased? Is it necessary that I should defend myself for expressing

my displeasure? No!' Notwithstanding which, he continued to defend himself, without any

abatement of his flushed mood. 'I am careful to appeal to that lady for confirmation, before I express

any displeasure at all. I--hum--I necessarily make that appeal within

limited bounds, or I--ha--should render legible, by that lady, what I

desire to be blotted out. Am I selfish? Do I complain for my own sake?

No. No. Principally for--ha hum--your sake, Amy.'

This last consideration plainly appeared, from his manner of pursuing

it, to have just that instant come into his head. '




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