“Don’t go getting pissed at me. It’s only because I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.”
I turned and looked at him shocked. His words were borderline sweet and I wasn’t sure if I should enjoy them or check him for a fever.
“What?” I asked.
I had to be sure I wasn’t hearing things.
Instead of answering me, he leaned across my lap, warming my legs. “It’s also why I bought you…” he opened the glove compartment. “This.”
I jerked when he set a pink gun on my lap. It was small. At first I thought it was a toy because of its color, but it was heavy—too heavy to be fake. Just having it close to me made me feel like having a panic attack.
“Sebastian…” I held my hands away from it, like it was going to bite me.
“Relax, Jessica. I’d never do anything to harm you. Do you trust that?” he asked, making a left turn.
“I don’t trust guns.”
“I understand. But do you trust me?”
I did. I trusted him with everything, except my heart, but neither had anything to do with the fact that guns scared the crap out of me.
“I need to know that when you’re not with me, you’re protected. It’s either this, or I hire someone to follow you around.” He kept his eyes on the road.
“I don’t understand you. Why are you doing this?”
He avoided my confusion, steering clear of clarifying anything. It was like I wasn’t even talking. He reached over and took the gun from my lap.
“It’s a nine millimeter. Sixteen rounds in the clip. Right now the safety’s on, but I’m taking you to learn how to shoot it.”
At that exact moment, we pulled up to a large warehouse. The sign out front said First Shot and there was a picture of a gun beneath it.
“Sebastian?” I said in a panicked whisper. “What’s going on? What are we doing here?”
“We’re facing fear, Jessica. You can do this.”
I was shaking my head before he finished. “No, I can’t. I can’t do this and I don’t want to. Don’t make me. Please, Sebastian.”
I closed my eyes and I could hear the gunshots echoing through my memory. When the actual sound of gunshots rang out, I practically jumped into his lap.
“It’s okay. You’re okay.” He rubbed my back and kissed my forehead. “Just do this for me.”
I looked up into his eyes and they were different. It was like I was with a completely different man. Where was the asshole from before? Where was the guy who showed no concern for anyone but himself? Being with him could give a girl whiplash.
Sebastian, or at least the man beside me, was begging me. It was subtle, but he was definitely begging.
He’d done so much for me and Kyle already. Of course, I had to give in return, but giving to Sebastian was one of the best things I’d ever done in my life. I just wasn’t sure I could give him this. It was so much deeper than my virginity.
It was fear—set deep in my core. I’d carried it around for twelve years, and it wasn’t like I could just wave it away and pretend like that night never happened. It was a memory---a nightmare I’d relived every day since I was younger.
I closed my eyes and silently begged ten-year-old me to take a chance. I breathed deep, letting the warmth from his hand on my knee seep into me. I can do this.
Sebastian was one of the biggest assholes I’d ever met, but I liked making him happy. I didn’t know what that said about me, and honestly, I didn’t care.
“Okay, let’s go. Just promise you’ll stay with me.”
“Of course I’ll be there. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
His words and the way he said them caught me off guard once again, and by the look on his face, they did the same to him. He turned away from me, unbuckled his seatbelt, and opened the door.
“Let’s do this.”
Gunshots. I didn’t think I’d ever really get over the sound of them, and that’s all you heard from the minute you got out of the car. Once you were inside, it was ten times worse. They echoed off of cement block walls and with every shot, I felt my fear rise.
I followed close behind him as he walked us to a room lined with partitions. A few people were in the room, each one with their own space, and each one aiming a gun at a paper with the black figure of a man on it.
Sebastian must have paid extra because our partition had a door to it. It was big enough for five people, and it had an extra counter to set things on the right. After entering the room, Sebastian pulled out my gun and set it on the counter.