That didn’t make sense to me. Momma often said things that didn’t. Like she wanted me to figure life out on my own. I didn’t push for an explanation. Sometimes I did, but this time I didn’t, my gut telling me “you don’t want to know.” Right now I had enough to deal with. Like the fact that I knew being Nate Finlay’s friend was a terrible idea from the start. Yet, I was going to do it. Because if I didn’t, I would always wonder “what if it had just been a friendship? It could’ve been one like Eli’s.” I knew I was lying to myself. But cancer had taught me a lot. And the “what if’s” of this world were something I decided I never wanted to have. I wasn’t about to begin with Nate.
Nate Finlay
I WAS LATE coming into work because it had taken me three cups of coffee and about ten pep talks to get me out the damn door. Facing Bliss today wasn’t going to be easy. She hadn’t left me yesterday on a good note. She’d been hurt and angry.
When I opened the back door and heard the familiar voice of my youngest sister talking I froze. What the hell was Phoenix doing here? She was supposed to be in school. Last time I checked she was still a senior. Graduation wasn’t for two more weeks. Bliss laughed and I stalked toward their voices. I didn’t trust Phoenix not to say a bunch of shit she shouldn’t. The girl was an annoying loud mouth.
“ . . . and then we had to tell dad. Ophelia didn’t have enough money for bail . . .” Phoenix finished with her cup of coffee in hand as she gestured theatrically with her other. Both females began to laugh.
I’d never seen my sisters laugh with Octavia. She wasn’t much of a laugher herself. She thought my sisters were silly. I had to agree with her. However, seeing Phoenix so at ease with Bliss was nice. Too damn nice to be comfortable.
“Hate to break up the party but what the hell are you doing here? Why aren’t you in school?”
Phoenix didn’t even jump at the sound of my voice. “Good to see you to big brother. Hope you’re doing well. Yes, I am wonderful. Ready for finals and oh, of course, I’m registered at Washington State.”
I rolled my eyes. This was how Phoenix got the subject off her and made you feel guilty in the process. It worked with most of my family. Not me. Never had.
“I didn’t ask about any of that shit. Why aren’t you in school? Why are you here?”
She turned her attention back to Bliss. “He’s rude. Always has been.”
Bliss softly giggled. This morning I arrived ready to convince her to be a friend to me. Why, I wasn’t sure, because it was probably a stupid idea. But I wanted it nonetheless, like asking to be punched again. And after hours of talking myself into acting, I arrive to find my freaking sister here. Screwing it up for me.
“I need to get back to the window display. I’ll leave you two to visit.” Bliss spoke, then stood, walking away and though I shouldn’t watch her walk, I did because I was a man.
“Well, I’ll be damned,” Phoenix said, snapping my attention back to her.
“What?”
She smirked and looked at Bliss’s back then cut her eyes at me. “Please tell me that she,” Phoenix threw her chin at Bliss “has the ability to end this ridiculous relationship you have with Octavia.”
It wasn’t just my mom who didn’t care for Octavia. It was all the women in my life.
“Octavia’s been nothing but nice to you,” I reminded her. She had been nice to all of them.
“Nice, but uppity,” she replied. “There’s always a snarl beneath it.”
We lived in a world of uppity with snarls. I didn’t point that out. I decided to let it go.
“Why are you here?” I asked more firmly this time. I was close to calling dad. Phoenix didn’t want that.
“Because,” she said with a sigh “a few of the graduating class hung our underwear on the flagpole. That was the night before last. Alcohol may have been involved. It seemed hilarious at the time. Even the next morning at school. Until we found out there were security cameras. We should’ve known that beforehand. Anyway, today they’ll be calling our parents. So I’m hiding. What are you up to?” She ended it so casually.
The flagpole thing was stupid, not criminal. Hell, I’d done a lot worse when I was a student there. “Go home and face it Phoenix. Mom will remind him that he’s getting paid back for the sins of his younger years. You’re the baby. He’ll calm down. They always let you get away with shit.”
Phoenix frowned. “I was drunk in the security footage. That’s why they’ll go bananas.”
Agreed. They’d be furious. But she wasn’t hiding here forever. I had my own shit to deal with. Octavia would be back soon. I had to get my head on straight before she walked in the door.
“Stop drinking. It leads to stupid shit. Wait until you’re legal then make your mistakes. Now go home and get it over with.”
She pouted. “Please go with me.”
I glanced over at Bliss working in the window. Normally when Phoenix needed me I was there without delay. She was, after all, the baby. And we babied the shit out of her. That was the reason she was wild as a buck. Even Ophelia bailed her out of trouble. Took the blame for things she shouldn’t.
“I can’t.”
Phoenix released a defeated sigh. “Normally, now, I’d commence the waterworks and cry until you caved. But I love you and will refrain. And if that girl Bliss can remove your head from Octavia’s uptown ass, where it seems to have been lodged for months, then good, that’s what I want. Even more than our parents assaulting me and burying my body in the sand.”
I rolled my eyes. How fucking dramatic. “For starters, my head is free of all asses and has never been in Octavia’s. Secondly, our folks aren’t exactly the toughest parents in Rosemary.”
She shrugged and stood without worry.
“I’m going to enjoy the day here. Walk on the beach where people don’t know me and eat some lunch like a stranger. Then, after they’ve worried, I’ll call and head home in shambles. Maybe their relief that I haven’t washed up on the beach or been drawn into a sex racket, will make them forget about the punishment.”
I doubted it and figured it would only make it worse but I wanted her to leave so I nodded. Truth was if they called me frantic I was telling them where she was. I didn’t want my momma to worry. Dad would worry, but he’d be pissed, and wouldn’t care about her emotional wellbeing.
“See you in a week Phoenix. I’ll be home for graduation.”
She kissed my cheek then headed for the door. “Bye Bliss! Lovely meeting you! Would be even lovelier if you . . .”
“Phoenix!” I stopped the comment.
She threw her head back and laughed, then sashayed out the door.
Life with two younger sisters had never been easy. Dad said it was why I was patient, with women and animals and old people. He had raised my Aunt Nan, said it taught him a lot, Phoenix often compared to her in looks and personality. She wasn’t as mean as they say Nan was, but then she had a stable life growing up. Aunt Nan hadn’t had that. Until Uncle Cope came along she was a destructive and angry hot mess. Or at least that’s the story I’ve heard.
I turned my attention back to Bliss and the way she was studying the window. Her intensity reminded me of a moment seven years ago. It was then that I realized she was special and I wouldn’t be able to forget her.