10. “I lied to you.”
“No, it’s just me and I’m going home,” Pagan replied spinning around in an angry huff and stalking toward her car. I, of course, had already taken her keys.
I watched as she began searching for the keys she’d left in her ignition frantically. Opening the passenger side door, I slid quickly inside. The keys dangled from my finger as I smiled at her. That didn’t win me any points. But I hadn’t really expected it to. She was forcing me to do this.
Pagan snatched the keys and cranked up the car. “What do you plan on doing Leif? Going inside and visiting with my mom? Hmmm... because more than likely Gee is going to be there shortly after I arrive and she’s chomping at the bit to kick your ass.”
Unfortunately, she wouldn’t be going back to her house. Not tonight. Not ever. “No, Pagan, I just think you and I need to talk.”
“About what? The fact you want to take my soul off to some voodoo hereafter or the fact that you stalked me my entire life then took my memories away from me? I know! You want to talk about how you lied to me about everything from the very beginning and made me think you were this nice guy. Pick a topic because I’m all talked out with them all.”
She didn’t understand. Dankmar had made me sound so evil. She had chosen him as her light. Death as her light? How insane was that? Sighing, I rubbed my palms against my knees. “You’re angry with me. I get it. I even understand it. I always expected you to be once you knew—”
“Then why do it?” She interrupted.
“Because I picked you. It was your purpose. It is your purpose. Don’t you get it? You’d have died Pagan. Died. Gone on. Gotten another life and completely lost the chance at this life. Because you were going to die. Death wasn’t in love with you then. He was going to take you like he was supposed to. There was nothing anyone could do to stop him, except your mother. She could choose to hand you over to Ghede and she did. She may not have realized it but when she begged a voodoo doctor to save you with voodoo magic she gave you over to my father. So you lived. You didn’t die. Death didn’t take you. You got to grow up with your mother and have friendships with Miranda and even Wyatt. You got to LIVE. Those were years you wouldn’t have gotten had I not chosen you. This life you have now would have ended that night in the New Orleans Children’s Hospital.” GHEDE! Why couldn’t she just get that? Any other human would understand what she was so blinded by.
Pagan started to turn the car toward her house. I reached over and took over the steering wheel to stop her. “No. We aren’t done talking.”
She tried to fight me and force the car to turn but it wouldn’t, I had complete control over the direction we would be headed. We wouldn’t stop until we reached the old East Gulf Bridge. Then we wouldn’t exactly stop then either.
“Okay, fine. You kept me alive. I got to live this life. I appreciate it but now I want to keep it and you don’t care. You claim to want me and need me but you couldn’t care less what I want. It’s all very selfish of you. It’s all about what Leif wants. You take no consideration as to what I want. You act as if I’m your possession and I should just be happy about it.”
She was mine. But I was more hers than she understood. I belonged to her too. She owned me. She just didn’t want me. The realization that she was no longer controlling the car had begun to sink in and her heart rate increased, as did her breathing. I was once again scaring her. Damn, I hated this.