“I’ll bet you get lots of tail with that one,” I said, and promptly broke into a snorting giggle fit. I really did crack myself up.
“I got it at a law enforcement training thing,” he said defensively. “It’s pretty long. It should cover everything you need to cover.”
“You don’t want to see my lady bits?” I teased.
“Not on a night when I can’t get better acquainted with them,” he answered, looking pained. “Just for the record, while I may wind up touching myself, I have no intention of touching you while you’re in this condition.”
“Just as well. I would prefer to be fully aware of what you were touching. Where should I change?” I asked, managing to remain standing. That was progress.
“The bedroom’s through there.” He pointed to a door at the end of a short hallway.
“Okay, so if you need me I’ll be naked in your bedroom,” I teased in a flirty voice.
“Maybe I should come along to watch so I can catch you if you fall down on the bed.”
He won that round. I backed down and went off to change. The lights were on already, and I saw that, like the rest of the apartment, Adam’s bedroom had a modern, masculine feel and was stylishly done in black and gray. I looked around curiously. There really wasn’t all that much personal about it, though. It was a guy’s bedroom. Hmm. I would be the first woman to sleep in his bed. I liked that. It looked comfy and soft, and the pillows probably smelled like him too. Oh, man, stop it, Lil. You don’t know how to think about baseball!
I tore my eyes away from the bed and glanced around the room one more time. He seemed pretty neat. No underwear on the floor. I wondered for a second what kind he wore. I had a feeling he was a boxer briefs guy. I was almost tempted to peek, but I decided it would be more fun to find out by unwrapping his package, than digging through his dresser.
I quickly slipped out of my dress, bra and stockings and folded everything neatly onto a chair, my first hint that I was starting to sober up a little. Adam’s T-shirt smelled a little like him, and I inhaled shamelessly as I slid it over my head. It did, in fact, cover my lady bits, ending at mid-thigh. His comment about torturing him floated back to me as I looked at myself in a mirror guiltily. I was pretty scantily clad, but I figured, what the hell, he had seen me in a bikini; how stimulating could a McGruff the Crime Dog T-shirt be?
From the look on Adam’s face when he turned around and saw me, it would seem that McGruff could be more stimulating than one would think. He made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a groan as his eyes dropped to my body.
“Would you mind getting my iPad out of the bedroom?” he asked thickly.
“Why didn’t you ask me that when I went in there?” I turned and walked back down the hall. Then it dawned on me. “You only asked so you could stare at my ass, didn’t you?” I called over my shoulder.
“And it’s a lovely ass, I assure you,” he called back. When I came back in with his tablet he appeared highly distracted.
“Are you okay?” I asked uncertainly, handing it to him. His eyes looked kind of glassy.
“I have to take a shower,” he muttered, putting the tablet down on an end table. “There’s food if you want to eat something or I can make you something when I’m done if you want.”
“You cook?”
“Yeah, I cook. Why?”
“I figured your mom and sisters probably doted on you.”
“And what, they show up and cook for me now?” His eyes dropped to my legs again. “If you’ll excuse me, that shower is becoming an urgent matter.”
He grimaced, adjusted his suit pants, and walked past me to the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind him. I wandered back into the living room and found the remote to the TV. After scrolling through numerous channels I found an old Monty Python movie. I took a sip of my water, tucked my legs up underneath myself and settled in to watch and continue the sobering process. I heard the bathroom door open a few minutes later and I turned around in time to see Adam walk out with a towel wrapped around his waist. Oh my.
“See something you like?” he called out.
“I don’t know, there’s a towel in the way,” I answered and I thought I heard him laugh as the bedroom door closed.
When he came out a little later, he appeared much more relaxed, dressed in gray sweatpants and a Georgetown Hoyas T-shirt. He looked sexy like that too. Jesus, he looked good to me in everything these days. I wanted to cuddle up with him, which was really weird, because I had definitely never been a cuddler. Must have been the booze. I might have sustained brain damage. Instead, I scrunched myself tighter into the corner of the sofa and hugged my waist.
“Do you want to watch The Meaning of Life with me? I know the words to all the songs.”
“Is that a threat?” he asked, and I actually laughed myself. “I was going to make myself an omelet. Do you want one?”
“Okay,” I answered, feeling inordinately pleased. Having someone cook for me was a rare treat. Actually, having company at this time of night was a rare treat these days. Ten minutes later he brought two plates out and we dug in.
“Well, there you go, Adler, you’re literally the first woman I have ever cooked for.”
“Mmm. This is good, Adam. I didn’t realize how hungry I was. All I’ve had since lunch were nachos, cocktail weenies and a bottle of spiced rum.”
“I hate that health food shit,” he joked and I snort laughed, which then made him laugh too. Not long after that a musical number came on and I sang my heart out.
“So there you go, Roth. I’ve never serenaded a guy before.”
“And the song you pick is Every Sperm is Sacred. You’re an interesting woman, Adler. What are you doing over in that corner anyway? Get over here.”
“Why? You afraid my fat ass will tip the couch over?” I joked.
“First, of all, your ass is not fat. Trust me, I’ve examined it closely on more than one occasion. Secondly, I’m a boy and you’re a girl, and we’re watching a movie together. I know you were a teenager once, because I was there, so you must know the drill. Come over here and sit next to me.”
“Well, how could any girl resist that kind of sweet talk?” I teased, and moved over to the middle of the couch where Adam slipped his arm around me. “Hey, I thought you weren’t going to touch me.”
“Allow me to clarify. I’m not going to touch anywhere that could possibly make either one of us come, and while I’m good, I don’t know if even I could get us there by touching your shoulder. Although, I’d be willing to try some night when you’re not smashed.”