MY VOICE ECHOES IN MY HEAD, COLD, SHARP AS the crack of ice on a frozen pond.
Max and I stare at each other.
"This is getting to be a bad habit." The bitterness in his voice is as obvious as the vamp on his arm.
I don't respond. I don't need to. I know exactly what he means. This isn't the first time we've run into each other unexpectedly here in Beso de la Muerte. He's a DEA agent, or at least he was the last time I saw him. He and Culebra have worked together. Neither has ever explained how or why, and I haven't pushed.
Tonight, though, is different. These circumstances are different.
I'm struck dumb by what I see in front of me. I can't take my eyes off the man who, until a few months ago, was my boyfriend and lover. Max and I have had an on-and-off relationship for the last few years. The off times have always been my fault; I accept that. When he walked out of my life for good, he did it because he found out what I was. He saw me turn. He saw me kill. The circumstances warranted it. Still, I assumed he couldn't come to terms with a girlfriend who needed to suck more than the obvious every few weeks.
To find him here, and know that he and this vampire shared what he didn't want to share with me, provokes hurt and confusion. I don't deal well with those emotions. When I was human, I tended to wield them like a double-edged sword against whoever had the bad fortune to injure me. That hasn't changed. Instead of beating my breast and asking him why, I revert to the familiar. I attack.
"Well, well. This is interesting. You decide getting fucked by a strange vampire is better than getting fucked by one you know?"
The vamp with Max takes a step back. Whoa, she says. I didn't know he belonged to someone. He showed up and offered himself.
At the same time she's conveying that message to me telepathically, Max is throwing me a puzzled frown. "How did you know we had sex?"
I feel my face split into a sour smile. "I smell it on you. Was it good, Max? It must have been to overcome your sensibilities about screwing a vampire. Which is why I assumed you left me."
His expression hardens, confusion into anger. "Don't lay that on me, Anna. You hid what you were from me for months. You would never have told me at all if I hadn't been there to see it."
He's right. Hiding what I've become from the mortals I want to stay close to has been the hardest adjustment to this vampiric experience. "I was right to hide it, wasn't I? You walked out on me. Didn't bother to say good-bye, and yet here you are. When did you decide to become a donor? Was it when you realized how great the sex is? Not so easy to get off with mere mortals when you've experienced the ultimate, is it?"
"You should know." There is a resentful edge to his voice. "You hadn't gotten off with me until that last time. It's what made it so great, wasn't it? You fed from me. It was the only time I'd satisfied you since you turned into . . ." His voice breaks off. "This."
He reaches behind him and grabs the arm of the vamp. She is not expecting it, caught up in the exchange between Max and me. She recovers in an instant. She puts her head down, snarls and bites down on his hand hard enough to draw blood.
I don't come to his defense. I would have reacted the same way to being manhandled.
He snatches his hand away and looks down at the ragged wound. "This is what you are, Anna. An animal. I come here to remind myself why I can't love you anymore."
Culebra interposes himself between us. "Take this outside," he says. "You're making the natives restless."
For the first time, I'm aware that, except for the pulse of the music, it has grown quiet in the bar. A half dozen women have separated from the others and are creeping toward us. They seem to be sniffing the air, mouths open, eyes narrowed.
I raise a questioning eyebrow to Culebra.
It's the blood. Take Max outside and heal the wound. Quickly.
But the redhead steps forward. He's with me. I'll do it. She looks up at Max and says quietly. "You need to come with me. Now. You've made the pack nervous."
He has his eyes on me, but he follows her outside without arguing. He's seen what a vampire can do when provoked. When the doors swing closed behind them, the six who were creeping up on us turn as one toward someone behind them. Though I don't detect movement of any kind, they must get some kind of signal. They slink back to their places at the bar.
I skewer Culebra with a look. The pack? What are they?
He doesn't answer right away. He's watching the crowd at the bar, waiting for the tension to drain from the room. When the decibel level rises to its former ear-splitting pitch, anxiety still clouds his eyes, and I can tell he's far from relieved.
Culebra, I ask again. What are they?
His eyes flick back to me. Werewolves.
Werewolves? I repeat stupidly. I look around. There are at least forty of the creatures in the bar. A shudder of revulsion runs down my spine. The fact that they look and act human is not a comfort. I look and act human, too. Most of the time. All of them?
Culebra follows my gaze as it sweeps the room. Yes.
Explains the emblem on the jackets. I know how strong I am and how powerful Culebra is, but still, these are not good odds. Are we safe?
He takes my arm and steers me toward the door at the back of the bar. If that's his answer, it's not reassuring. But neither is going through the same door Max and his new girlfriend exited earlier. I smell Max. His sex, his blood. It's distracting enough to make me ask, When did Max start coming here?
Six weeks ago.
Not long after we escaped from Mexico. Where Max found out my secret.
Culebra is watching my face. He's not prying into my thoughts. Maybe he doesn't want to feel the emptiness. He says, "You asked me if we were safe from them." He gestures toward the bar.
Perhaps he does feel it. "Nice change of subject."
He nods and waves me into a chair. "We are safe. In theory. Weres are only dangerous in their animal form. Still, they are a pack. Bloodlust can bring the animal to the surface. There have been documented cases of a pack in human form tearing apart a large animal for sport. Especially when drugs or alcohol are involved."
I glare at him. "So you let them into your bar to drink and smoke pot? Doesn't sound so smart to me."
"I know the leader of this pack. She promised me there would be no trouble. They are on their way across the border. She asked to stay the night. I agreed. They are paying well for the privilege."
This still does not sound like something Culebra would agree to. He shrugs, divining my thought.
I had no idea you would show up tonight. You fed only a week ago. The weres are moving on in the morning. The camp is otherwise empty. I saw no harm in granting the request. As for Max . . .
He pauses, eyes on me while he lets himself into my head. I don't try to stop him. It's easier than trying to explain what I'm feeling. Anger toward Gloria and her ridiculous situation, and now hurt and disappointment because of Max.
The problem with Gloria can be easily fixed. You may be able to settle it tonight when you see this business partner. I am sorry seeing Max upset you. I didn't realize you had come in until it was too late.
Is that supposed to make me feel better? I come to this place as much for refuge from the irritations of the mortal world as for sustenance. Should I call ahead from now on to make a reservation?
Culebra lifts an eyebrow.
I know I'm overreacting. Max has as much right to come here as I do. Maybe more, since he and Culebra were friends long before I came into the picture. Still, the thought that I might run into him again on the arm of another vamp sends a stab of resentment through my gut.
Culebra's expression softens from irritation to sympathetic acknowledgment, but he says nothing. What can he say? This is my problem.
I turn away abruptly. I can't think of any reason to stay here. I can't think of any clever parting remarks. Maybe I'll go back to Glory's and wait for O'Sullivan to show up. Then, after I take care of him, I'll pick up one of those eager yuppies and bring him home with me. Fuck his brains out and send him on his way.
I feel Culebra's disapproval. It hums through the air like radio waves, but he can't help and he can't stop me.
He doesn't try.
Just as I don't bother to say good-bye.