Steve shot Cassie a look filled with questions. She could tell he was wondering if everything was going okay between her and her sister. She sent him a smile to reassure him that all was well, although that was a slight exaggeration.
When Cassie returned to the kitchen she saw that her sister was busy dumping a bag of potato chips into a bowl.
“I thought we’d dish up in here and then eat outside.”
“Sure.” Feeling at loose ends, Cassie looked around for a way to help.
“The iced tea is in the fridge if you want to bring that out.”
“Glad to.” She needed to do something to occupy her hands.
“I hope you brought pictures of Amiee,” Karen said, as if looking to fill the silence.
“I did,” Cassie assured her. “I’ll show them to you later.” What she wanted to tell her sister was how eager Amiee was to meet her family. Aunts, uncles, and cousins. She wanted her sister to know how Amiee hounded her for stories of her childhood and questions about the three sisters. But she said nothing, fearing anything more than a polite response would topple this fragile peace.
Karen sliced several hard-boiled eggs and artistically arranged them on top of the bowl of potato salad just the same way their mother had once done. “Do you mind if I ask you something?” Her sister sounded hesitant.
Cassie braced herself, knowing Karen was about to bring up Duke.
“Do you have any contact with him?” her sister asked, avoiding eye contact.
“None.”
“What about child support for Amiee? I hope he’s helping you financially.”
Cassie nearly laughed out loud—that was a joke if there ever was one. If she hadn’t been blinded by hormones and love, Cassie might have recognized the sign that Duke was not the kind of man you could depend on. Her father certainly had. It wasn’t until after they were married that Cassie discovered that Duke had never been able to hold down a job for more than a few weeks at a time. Child support! What was it their dad used to say? “You can’t get blood from a turnip”? Duke was either too drunk to work or too high on drugs to be of much use to anyone. Even when he did manage to find employment, his quick temper and drinking habits invariably caused him to get laid off or fired, often within a matter of a week or two. Once he was fired after a single eight-hour shift. Cassie remembered that specifically because Duke had blamed her and she’d been beaten for her imaginary efforts to sabotage his promising career as a dishwasher.
Karen studied her, her eyes round and sad. “Cassie, why did you stay away so long? Didn’t you realize how desperately Mom and Dad missed you?”
She carefully weighed her response. She could explain the truth, dredge up the horrors of her marriage, but she hesitated. She feared Karen might not believe her, might think she was looking for sympathy, or worse, bring up their last fight and how right she had been about everything. “I missed everyone, too,” she whispered, and then added, “desperately.”
If Karen knew the truth, the natural question would be why Cassie had stayed with Duke. This was a question Cassie had asked herself a thousand times. Others asked, too, and there was no easy answer. She stayed because she didn’t feel it was an option to leave. She had no job, no money, no friends, no connections. She was completely dependent on Duke, and for more than her and Amiee’s physical well-being. Emotionally she was tied to Duke, but those ties were like barbed-wire fencing, ties that brought her nothing but pain. Still, she hadn’t been able to find the courage to leave, not until it became a life-or-death situation. She was sure this would be beyond Karen’s scope of understanding.
“Why did I stay away?” Cassie repeated her sister’s question, unsure how to answer. Rather than attempt an explanation, she said, “I don’t know … why do any of us do the things we do?”
Karen continued to regard her, and a brooding frown came over her. “I ask myself that same question sometimes. Why do we do the things we do?” she repeated slowly.
Cassie was taken aback by how serious Karen had become. “Do you have regrets, Karen?” She did, and hoped this would open the way to a conversation about their last argument.
The frown left as quickly as it came. “Well, we all have regrets, don’t you think?” her sister asked lightly, as if having second thoughts about wading into such painful territory.
Cassie held her breath, hoping she was doing the right thing, then said, “I regretted the argument we had shortly before I left with Duke,” Cassie whispered. There, it was out. She took a deep breath while she awaited Karen’s response.
Her sister shrugged off the comment. “Like I said, we all have regrets.”
She seemed not to want to dredge up the ugly accusations that they’d flung at each other that day. As if looking for a way to change the subject, Karen glanced up.
“Who’s Steve?” She tossed a look over her shoulder at the two men on the patio.
“He’s a friend.” This question was tricky.
“Are you two involved?”
“Involved how? Romantically?”
“Well, yes.”
“No,” Cassie said, leaving no room for doubt. “Nothing like that.” Because she knew that wasn’t likely to satisfy her sister’s curiosity, she added, “He’s a volunteer with Habitat for Humanity and we’ve been working together for the last month or so. I can promise you there’s absolutely nothing romantic between us.”
Karen raised her brows so high they nearly met her hairline. It was clear she didn’t believe Cassie.
“It’s true,” Cassie insisted. “Steve lost his wife a few years back and he’s pretty much still hung up on her.” Her ego would like it if Steve was interested, but Cassie hadn’t seen any real evidence. Certainly nothing physical. Yes, he’d been kind, generous, and thoughtful after they’d finally gotten over that initial friction, but that didn’t constitute romantic interest.
The sliding glass door leading to the patio opened and both men walked inside. Garth carried a platter of hamburgers with buns.
“Lunch is served,” Garth said, and set the plate down on the counter. “Can we eat now? I’m starved.”
Chapter 19
Considering the stilted conversation between Cassie and her sister before lunch, the meal went relatively well. Cassie would be forever grateful Steve was with her. He steered the conversation away from any topic that would have caused her discomfort. Mostly Karen and Garth discussed their children, a subject that was safe. Cassie showed them pictures of Amiee, which Karen stared at for a long moment before handing them back.
“She looks like you,” Karen said, after an unusually long moment.
As if seeking a way to cover a sudden awkward silence, Cassie talked about working with Habitat, and Steve quickly mentioned that Cassie was actively involved in the building process.
“You’ll have to come and see the house once it’s finished,” Steve suggested.
Karen looked to Garth, who set his hamburger aside and nodded. “That’s something to consider.”
They finished their meal, and Cassie helped her sister put away the leftovers. Steve and Garth cleared off the patio table and cleaned the barbecue.
When she was alone again with her sister, Cassie braved asking the question. “Will you really come once the house is completed?” she asked, her back to her sister for fear of what she would read in Karen’s eyes. No matter what Karen said, Cassie wanted her family to know she wanted them in her life and yearned to be part of theirs.
“When will that be?” Karen responded. “I mean, we’ll come, I suppose, but you have to remember the kids’ activities keep us pretty busy.”
Cassie knew she was hedging. “I’ll remember,” she said, fighting down the disappointment.
“Winter is less busy than this time of year,” Karen added.
“We’re breaking ground next week,” Cassie explained. “We hope to have the house completed by early spring.”
“You mean you haven’t actually started?” Karen looked surprised.
“Well, not on our home. I’ve been putting in my hours helping other families.”