The anguish on his face tore into Sophie's heart. He let Dan go as though he were radioactive, with a shove that sent him reeling, then moved close and dipped his head to Sophie's, his hand warm and firm on the back of her neck. His lips touched hers. For a moment, she forgot Dan was even there. The briefest of kisses, the deepest of messages.
You always have choices. Remember.
He released her gently and stalked away down the path, shaking Dan's blood from his knuckles as he left.
Chapter One
"Sophie."
Kara's worried voice wouldn't go away, however hard Sophie tried to block it out and stay asleep.
"Wake up, Soph."
Maybe she'd give up if Sophie feigned ignorance for long enough.
But a gentle, insistent hand shook her shoulder, so she sighed deeply and forced her reluctant eyelids to open to survey the scene.
The TV still on low from the night before. An empty wine bottle on the table. An equally empty glass next to it. One glass, the hallmark of a lonely heart. The fact that she'd slept on her own sofa rather than in her big, empty marital bed said even more about the state of Sophie's heart. Kara's pretty face creased in sympathy, but her eyes were clear and determined.
"You need to get up, babe."
"Do I?" Sophie muttered sourly. "Do I really?" She pushed herself up on her elbows beneath the bunched quilt she'd dragged off the spare bed a few nights back.
"Kara, my marriage is in tatters. My husband's gone, probably moved in with the mistress he's had for the last three years. I don't have a job. All I have is this sofa… " - she cast a look towards the TV - "…Jeremy Kyle, and red wine."
"Yeah. How's that working out for you?" Kara pointedly moved the wine glass and replaced it with a cup of tea. "The way you're going, you'll be on Jeremy Kyle, not watching it."
Sophie huffed and dragged herself up to a sitting position as Kara perched on the other end of the sofa and tucked her feet under the quilt.
"‘I shagged my sex god boss whilst my husband was on holiday with his secret mistress’ has a certain ring to it." Kara's eyes sparkled with gentle humour as she fished a box of paracetamol out of her pocket.
"Even Jeremy Kyle would struggle to unravel my problems," Sophie muttered, accepting the pills as Kara popped them out. The tea scalded her throat as she washed them down, but the pain barely even registered. Sophie was all out of tears and her pain receptors were well and truly off duty. Her body and mind had had enough, and a week hiding beneath the sanctuary of her quilt hadn't even scratched the surface when it came to restoring normal service.
"You don't need Jeremy. You've got me."
Sophie nodded ruefully. "Amen for you."
Kara had warned her at the outset that taking the job as Lucien Knight's PA was wrong on every level, but she'd gone ahead and done it anyway. The lure of Lucien had been too strong to resist. Too exciting. Too shiny, too new, too perfect a distraction from the bad stuff going on in her life.
And as only a true friend could, Kara had held back from saying 'I told you so' when Sophie's life had crumbled around her ears. She'd been steadfast, the only solid rock on fast shifting ground. She'd soothed Sophie's broken spirits over bottles of wine and late night telephone calls, and she'd called around with dinners that Sophie couldn't bring herself to eat. And now it was Saturday morning, and she'd let herself in with the spare key she’d appropriated, armed with carriers of fresh food and the firm intention to get Sophie off the sofa before it swallowed her whole.
Sophie sighed heavily. "Dan called last night."
Kara's eyes rounded a little. "Is he okay?"
"Not really." Sophie clutched her mug for comfort. "He's all over the place. Apologising in one breath then calling me names the next."
Kara nodded slowly. "Bit like you, then."
Sophie lifted a shoulder. "I guess."
"Did you ask him how his black eye was?"
"Do you think I did?" Sophie raised a sarcastic eyebrow at her friend.
"Has he moved in with...?" Kara didn't say Maria's name, but they both knew how the sentence ended.
"I didn't ask. Where else would he be though? They've been together for years. They've been on holiday together." Sophie breathed out shakily. "Where else would he be?"
Kara's sympathetic face and lack of reply confirmed her agreement even if she didn't voice it.
"Enough about Dan. What are we going to do about you?"
Sophie threw a baleful look at the empty wine bottle. "Restock my wine rack?"
"Soph, I'm serious. If you don't get your act together, everything will just stay the same." She reconsidered. "In fact, it won't stay the same. Your bills won't get paid, and the bank will take your house."
Sophie slid her mug onto the coffee table and pushed her hands through her hair. Ugh. Greasy and lank, and no doubt as dishevelled as the week old PJs she was wearing.
Kara was right. It was hard to hear, and impossible to imagine getting off the sofa for more than ten minutes, but the time for wallowing was over. The thought of losing her home was too much to bear, it had become her only constant.
"I don't know where to start, Kar."
Kara must have heard the wobble in Sophie's quiet words, because she gathered her up into a fortifying hug and then held her out again at arm’s length.
"You can start by taking a shower. You stink."
Sophie wound the towel around her freshly showered hair and scrubbed a hand over the fogged up bathroom mirror. The face looking back at her through the cleared space eyed her coolly, taking in the slightly more pronounced cheekbones and the dark smudges around her eyes. Neither came as a shock. She could barely keep food down, and sleep wasn't coming easy.
She didn't know herself anymore. So many emotions warred inside her, she felt slashed to ribbons on their blades. Fear. Anger. Resentment. Guilt. Guilt. Guilt.
It didn't matter that Dan had been cheating on her for three years. She'd relinquished the moral high ground the first moment she'd set eyes on Lucien Knight, because she'd known. She'd taken the job even though she'd known what would happen, when she should have run for the hills. Yes. She deserved her guilt, and it was magnified ten times over thanks to Lucien's behaviour in the hallway last week. This was her mess. He had no right striding in and riding roughshod over everyone else to make his point. He'd forced her hand when she should have been the one making the decisions. By taking away her choices, he'd given Sophie one more argument to add to the ever-lengthening list of reasons to resent him. It was almost as long as the list of reasons why she'd allowed him to seduce her in the first place. Almost. She'd refused his numerous calls over the last week and ignored his text messages. She hoped and assumed that her failure to turn in for work would act as her unspoken resignation. Her time with Lucien had been brief and blindingly bright, but it was time to quit playing fairy stories about tragic snow princesses and chivalrous Vikings and face the grey, never-ending monotony of her ruined marriage head on. No more running. Or slumping on the sofa, for that matter.