“Slow,” he urged her, keeping his hands firmly on her hips so that she couldn’t go too fast their second time. And, Lord, the way she looked as she made love to him, like she’d never been so happy, or felt so good in all her life...
He couldn’t keep from leaning up to take her ni**les into his mouth, first one, then the other, repeating the pattern until he’d moved even deeper into her. So deep that she was gasping with pleasure and he had gone nearly crazy from her smell and taste and the feel of her all around him.
Needing to hold her close, he sat up and wrapped her legs around his waist so that they were heartbeat to heartbeat and face to face. She wound her arms around his neck and kissed him until neither of them could keep from giving in to what they both wanted so badly.
But even as he thrust up into her and she buried her face in his neck, holding on tight while her body started to come apart at the seams in the most beautiful way possible, Sean couldn’t stop praying that tonight wasn’t the beginning of good-bye.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Nothing, absolutely nothing, would ever be as good as waking up in Sean’s arms. All night long he’d been wrapped around her, his chest to her back, her body fitting so perfectly into his that it was as though they’d been made only for each other. Serena wasn’t usually a very sound sleeper, but she hadn’t stirred once all night.
And yet, feeling so momentarily safe made the decisions waiting for her even harder to face. If only she could stay in his bed, in his arms, forever, and forget that she had any other life.
She wanted so badly to be strong, to continue making the choices that she wanted to make, rather than the ones she felt compelled to go along with to make her mother, Smith Sullivan, the investors in his movie, and her agent happy. But with Smith’s movie thrown into the mix, it felt so much harder this time to say no and stand firm.
Maybe the way Genevieve had behaved should have made it easier, but Serena could still remember the times when her mother had been nice and kind and loving. And even if those times had more to do with Serena’s performance in front of the cameras than anything else, she couldn’t forget how good it had felt.
Serena’s heart rate was already rising by the time she tried to get the panic to stop by telling herself that maybe it would all work out. Maybe she was freaking out for nothing. And maybe her mother was wrong and Smith didn’t need her right away.
“Good morning.”
Trying to hide her rising anxiety, Serena rolled over so that she and Sean were face to face on the pillow. He was gorgeous first thing in the morning. “I like this,” she said as she reached up to brush her fingertips over his dark stubble.
He captured her hand in his and kissed her fingertips. “Good. Because you’ll be seeing a lot more of it in the future.”
Just like that, the tension that she’d only just managed to shove down burst open inside her. “Sean, I—” Just then she caught a glimpse of the clock on his bedside table. “Oh no, I didn’t realize how late it is and how long we slept. I need to go. I have my presentation this afternoon and I need to get ready for it.”
When he turned to look at the clock, he cursed, too. “I have to head out for fielding practice. And then I’ve got an Econ test.” She was already dragging on her clothes from the day before, when he slid naked out of the bed and took one of her hands in his. “I’ll text my coach to let him know I can’t make it today, and I’ll find a way to talk my professor into letting me make up the test later in the week.”
“You don’t need to do that.” No matter how much she wanted him with her, she couldn’t let him blow off the important things in his own life just so he could hold her hand all day and make sure she didn’t lose it. She made herself—for the first time with him—put on one of the wide smiles she’d so often used in front of the cameras. “I’ll be fine.”
But she could see that he didn’t buy it. Not for a second. “I know this might seem crazy,” he told her, “but I keep thinking that if I let you go today, the next thing I know, you’ll be calling me from an airplane or a film set.”
“I won’t.” Because even if she did have to leave, she would never go without saying good-bye. “I know my mother made it seem like everything needed to change right away, but we don’t know that for sure yet.”
A muscle jumped in his jaw at the word yet, but he didn’t press her on it. Instead, he was the one forcing a smile this time. “I’ll come get you at the English Department after you ace your presentation. We can go celebrate with a slice of pizza.”
“That sounds great,” she said as she wrapped her arms around him.
They stood holding each other for as long as they could, but the clock was still ticking and they had to pull apart too soon.
* * *
Taking a scalding hot shower helped. So did putting on a little makeup for once so that she had some color in her face, then choosing one of the few dresses she’d brought to campus and slipping it on, along with some pretty flats. By the time she was dressed, Serena actually felt pretty normal. Or as close to normal as she could be, given the circumstances.
Okay, she told herself as she packed up her notes and books to head to the quiet of the library for a few hours to review her presentation, all she needed to do was keep everything in its own separate compartment. Right now she’d focus on her classwork. After her presentation, she’d focus on Sean. And after that, she’d finally deal with her career...and her mother.
When that thought had her heart rate picking up again, she forcefully pushed it away and steadied herself by looking at the book in her hand. Jane Eyre. Charlotte Brontë’s beautiful words had always inspired her.
“Serena, you really need to start answering your phone!”
From the look on her roommate’s face as she walked into their room, Serena’s stomach sank even before Abi held out her own phone. “Katie just saw this and I didn’t want you to be blindsided by it later.”
Even the best self-control and all the pep talks in the world couldn’t stop Serena from flinching when she looked at the picture of her and Sean walking together. It must have been taken last night after they’d left her dorm room because they looked tense. Upset. And anyone would think from looking at it that they’d been fighting. How would anyone ever guess that they’d both been shell-shocked by her mother’s sneak-attack movie bomb? Especially when the headline that went along with the photo was Serena Britten gets ready to leave Stanford to shoot a Smith Sullivan blockbuster: Will a long-distance relationship work? Vote now!