“It’s just bad timing.” I gulp, “Maybe after the draft is over and I know where I’m going…” My words trail off because I have no idea where I’m going. I could end up in Seattle or Green Bay or Florida, for fuck’s sake.
And she’ll be in Cincinnati.
Trying to make a name for herself. Just like Eric said. She sure as hell doesn’t need me anchoring her down. I don’t even know if we could make it work regardless. Eric filled my head with so many doubts.
Inhaling a shaky breath, she says quietly, “No. I don’t think so, Roan. I think this is it for us.”
Then she turns and I’m once again drowning in those liquid emerald depths of hers as she impales me with them. They feel like a sword going right through my fucking heart. “I’m really sorry, Ivy.” More sorry than she’ll ever know. I’m doing this for you, I want to say. Because you deserve this break. You deserve this chance to be out there lighting up the stage. And I can’t hold you back from that. You would end up hating me for it. And I would only end up hating myself for not being strong enough to let you go.
But I don’t think she sees any of that lurking within my eyes.
Nodding, her gaze never strays from mine. “I know how much you want this. And I would never stand in your way or do anything to hold you back from achieving your dreams.”
Her words give me the much needed strength to walk away because she’s absolutely fucking right. She would never stand in my way.
And I won’t be the one to stand in hers either.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Other than around campus, Roan King sightings have become a rarity… Apparently someone must be nursing a broken heart. Who would have thought that our very own campus player had a heart buried beneath all that sexy muscle? Trust me, I’m just as shocked as the rest of you. KingOfCampus.com
“I can’t believe you’re really leaving.” Lexie murmurs the words in a wobbly voice near my ear right before crushing me in a tight bear hug. I can barely breathe.
“I know,” I whisper, “I feel like a real shitbag for baling on you like this.”
As soon as I voice the words, she pulls away until she’s able to meet my watery gaze. “Don’t you dare say that! What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t support your dream any way I could?”
Just as I open my mouth, she cuts me off.
“A pretty damn crappy one!”
Her words have my lips twitching up at the corners. Lexie is my best friend. And I think she’ll always be my friend. There’s no one more supportive than Lexie Abbot.
She gives me a big grin before adding, “Anyway, I’ll be crashing at your new apartment over break. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”
I roll my eyes. “You know I’m shacking up with three other girls, right? It’s just temporary until I can find something else.” At least I won’t have to look for an apartment right away. I can take my time settling in, getting acclimated to the company and the city before I start looking for my own place. But I figure I’ll probably be living there for a good four or five months. Maybe even longer depending on how everything goes. After all, from what I hear, I’ll barely be at the apartment. Rehearsals are long and demanding.
“I don’t care, it’s just so exciting!”
I can’t help but bite back a small smile. She’s right. It is exciting. I just wish things had worked out differently with Roan. We haven’t really spoken much since he pulled the plug on our relationship about a week and a half ago. I still see him in class and I run into him in the halls every once in a while but that’s about it.
I guess he’s doing just what he said- working out, playing ball, and studying.
I try not to think about what else he might be doing...
The moment people sniffed trouble in the air between us, it was all over that stupid website. Although, thankfully, there haven’t been any pictures snapped of him with other girls… not that I’ve been, um, cyberstalking him or anything like that…
Okay, maybe just a little.
Even though I wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed with a pint of Chunky Monkey ice cream, I couldn’t. There was just too much to do. I had to speak with my professors about finishing out my courses even though I would be in Cincinnati. Most of them were actually really cool about it. My guess is that always being in class, participating, as well as being an A student helped with that. Only one professor gave me a hard time but Eric went and spoke with him. It’s doubtful he’ll give me an A for the semester, but at least it should be a passing grade. My plan is to come back for finals in mid-December. It’s going to be a lot of work with my new rehearsal schedule but I’ve got nothing else going on, so I think I’ll be able to handle it for the next month.