I like Ivy… hell, I love her… but who knows what’s going to happen in the future. We haven’t been together all that long. It almost defies logic that she would give up this kind of opportunity… for me.
Me.
Again something surges in my chest to the point of cracking wide open right here on the football field.
“Roan.”
His voice snaps me back to the conversation we’re in the middle of having. “If you truly care about Ivy, you won’t stand in her way. She needs to do this and time is running out. She hasn’t officially turned it down yet. If she does, she’ll never get another chance to dance with Cincinnati again. They won’t look at her. It’s as simple as that.”
Slowly I mutter, “But I told her if she got this, we’d make it work. What more do you want me to do?” What else can I do? I don’t want to hold her back but I don’t want to lose her either. It took me way too fucking long to find her. To find someone who sees me for who I am.
He eyes me for just a moment and what I see there instantly puts me on edge. “Look, it’s obvious your future is just getting ready to unfold as well. Do you even know where you’ll be after this year?”
It’s slowly that I shake my head. I don’t think I like where this conversation is going. “No. I won’t know anything until April.”
“I think Ivy realizes that if she leaves Barnett, the chances of your relationship surviving are slim. She’ll be busting her ass in Cincinnati and won’t have much in the way of free time and you’ll be god knows where, also busting your ass without much free time.” He allows those words to sink in for just a moment before continuing, “Do you realize just how difficult that’ll be? You’ll both be starting high pressure, intensely physical careers in different cities. Trying to make a name for yourselves…”
My heart actually constricts at his words. Because, damn him, he’s right.
There’s only one thing to do.
And we both fucking know it.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Do you hear that? It’s the sound of thousands of Barnett women rejoicing that Roan King is once again single… Guess Ivy Kaster’s loss is our gain. KingOfCampus.com
Roan
“Hey, I didn’t expect to see you tonight. I thought you had- and I quote,” she holds her fingers up to make little bunny ears, “a shit ton of work to plow through.” Smiling just a bit, Ivy gives me a quick kiss. Now that Eric has filled me in, I see the heaviness of her decision weighing her down. I’d thought it was simply the pain of being rejected. But it’s not. Even she knows what she’s set on doing is wrong. It only reinforces what I need to do to make this right again.
Knowing that Ivy is willing to sacrifice her dreams makes me feel completely unworthy.
I don’t deserve that kind of love from her.
I try hoisting a small smile but just can’t get the edges of my lips to tilt upwards. It’s too damn hard. My heart already aches from what I’m about to do. And I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that everything within me is screaming for me to turn around and leave.
But I have to. I don’t have a choice in the matter.
“Yeah, I do. So I can’t stay long.” I have to clear the thick emotion from my throat just so I can force the rest of the words out before I do something stupid… like swallow them back down and pull her into my arms where she belongs. “But we need to talk.”
My words have her brows sliding together into a tight line. She purses her lips. Her eyes suddenly probing mine a little more carefully. Because she’s so attuned to me, she knows something isn’t right. I can see it in the way she’s holding herself. “We do?”
A tidal wave of dread washes over me as I give her a curt nod. “Yeah.” Feeling jittery, I run a quick hand through my hair. God this sucks. Worse, I can’t just come out and tell her I know she’s lying to me. I don’t want her getting pissed off at Eric. She needs him in her life. He’s been her biggest champion in the dance world. I can’t take that away from her. Ivy’s already lost enough as it is. She can’t afford to lose him, too.
“So, you know how I’ve been thinking about putting off the draft for another year and staying at Barnett…”
It’s clear from the confused expression on her face that she doesn’t know where I’m going with this. What I’m about to say is going to blindside the fuck out of her but I don’t know any other way to do it. Sitting on her bed, with her legs crossed, she jerks her head into a nod.