“How much longer until we hear from your guy about the meds?”
“He’ll call when he has what we need.”
What they needed was a profile on Dean’s mental condition, a list of the medications he was taking and whether or not he’d ever been a patient at Laurel Oaks Behavioral Hospital. Jonah claimed Department 6 had people who could get that information—who could get just about any information. He said that’d be quicker than going through the sheriff’s department here in Prescott. Since Hunsacker and Finch were out knocking on doors to see if they could find someone who might’ve seen April along the highway the night she was killed, Francesca had no problem with turning to an outside entity. Her father was trying to help, too, wasn’t he? But it was getting late. She doubted they’d hear anything until tomorrow and wasn’t looking forward to the wait.
“You really think we’ll be able to search for Bianca’s car?” she asked.
Jonah slouched in his seat. “Butch has got to go in eventually.”
They’d been hoping for an opportunity to get close to the chain-link fence surrounding the salvage yard for hours. But there’d been too much activity. They didn’t want to be seen snooping around, using binoculars, taking pictures. If he felt threatened, Butch could move or hide evidence. And if he was the person who’d cut her telephone line, Francesca didn’t feel it was a good idea to keep jumping into his sights. She wanted to feel comfortable in her own house again. If that was even possible.
“This could take a while,” she said when she saw Butch getting back in his truck. “He’s still working.”
She handed Jonah the binoculars to have a look for himself. “Surveillance too tedious for you?” he asked.
“I think it’s the cramped conditions that are bothering me.”
“Cramped conditions? We have the whole van to ourselves.”
Therein lay the problem. It wasn’t easy to be alone with Jonah during the day, let alone at night. Especially in such a private setting. They could do just about anything out here and no one would know about it. The potential for secrecy made Francesca feel free, daring, almost as if she could avoid responsibility for her own actions….
Catching her bottom lip between her teeth, she studied him for a moment, then drew a deep breath. “Tell me something.”
He set the binoculars aside. “What’s that?”
“What’s it like?”
Her change in tone caused a certain wariness to come over him. “It?”
“Talking to Adriana after so long.”
He didn’t respond.
“What? You don’t want to answer?”
“Are we really going to do this?” he asked, watching her from beneath half-lowered eyelids.
“You had a baby with her. Don’t you ever think about her? The child? How things might’ve been different if you’d married?”
“Don’t dredge this up.”
“Why? You’re the one who wanted to talk about it in the past. Well, now I’m ready.”
He scowled. “You’re not ready. You’re looking for a pound of flesh. My flesh.”
“And you don’t think you owe it to me?”
“Fine.” He shrugged as if he didn’t care but she suspected he did. “I wish I’d married her, okay? Is that what you want to hear? God knows you won’t believe anything else, so there you have it. I was an ass**le with no heart, out to hurt anyone I could, and I tried to destroy your life and hers just for the hell of it. I used you both, like I use all women.”
The muscle that jumped in his cheek warned her to back off, but the compulsion to hurt him as he’d hurt her goaded her to continue. “What if I’d gotten pregnant at the same time she did?”
He shook his head.
“It could’ve happened,” she went on. “You were sleeping with both of us.”
“I wasn’t sleeping with both of you,” he muttered with a scowl.
“She didn’t get that baby by immaculate conception, Jonah.”
It was only one night. At least, that was what Adriana had insisted all these years. Francesca wanted to hear Jonah say it, too. But he didn’t give her the satisfaction. He didn’t even attempt to defend himself.
“You’re right. She got it the old-fashioned way. And I enjoyed every minute of it, okay? Too bad she’s married. Maybe we could go at it again, since a good lay is all that’s ever mattered to me.”
Francesca winced even though she knew he didn’t mean it. Couldn’t mean it. He was being purposely nasty. All the tension they’d felt since running into each other again was bubbling to the surface, slamming one jagged emotion into another. “What if Adriana and I had both gotten pregnant?” she asked again.
“Then I would’ve walked out on you the way I walked out on her,” he said, his eyes glittering with reckless abandon. “Convinced you to give away my own flesh and blood. Never looked back. How can you expect anything more from a guy like me?”
“I don’t know how I couldn’t see it,” she whispered.
She didn’t need to spell it out. She could tell he knew she meant that he’d managed to deceive her, that she’d once thought so much more highly of him than he deserved.
“I guess you never looked close enough.”
That muscle twitched in his cheek again, but she ignored it. Instead, she fought the tears clogging her throat. “At least I see you more clearly now.”
“Good. Then you’ll know to keep your distance. Dealing with me isn’t for the emotionally fragile.”
“Emotionally fragile?” She barked a laugh. “You couldn’t hurt me if you tried. Not anymore.”
“Oh, yeah? You think I can’t sense the chemistry between us? It’s not gone, Francesca. Whether you admit it or not, it’s far from gone.”
“What chemistry? You mean sexual attraction? So what if it’s still there? It’s all physical. You think I can’t enjoy a free ride and walk away when it’s over just as easily as you can?”
He twisted in his seat to confront her more directly. “Is that what you want from me? A free ride? For old times’ sake?”
It seemed that the color had drained from his face but in the failing light she couldn’t be certain, and the edge to his voice challenged her to prove her words. “What’s wrong with a cheap thrill? That’s what you gave my best friend, isn’t it? That’s what you offer every girl you meet. Why should I be any different? Apparently, it was my mistake to expect more when we were together.”