"Wilt thou chop logic with me," said Lambourne, "thou knave, with no

more brains than are in a skein of ravelled silk? By Heaven, I will cut

thee into fifty yards of galloon lace!"

But as he attempted to draw his sword for this doughty purpose, Michael

Lambourne was seized upon by the tapster and the chamberlain, and

conveyed to his own apartment, there to sleep himself sober at his

leisure.

The party then broke up, and the guests took their leave; much more

to the contentment of mine host than of some of the company, who were

unwilling to quit good liquor, when it was to be had for free cost, so

long as they were able to sit by it. They were, however, compelled to

remove; and go at length they did, leaving Gosling and Tressilian in the

empty apartment.

"By my faith," said the former, "I wonder where our great folks find

pleasure, when they spend their means in entertainments, and in playing

mine host without sending in a reckoning. It is what I but rarely

practise; and whenever I do, by Saint Julian, it grieves me beyond

measure. Each of these empty stoups now, which my nephew and his drunken

comrades have swilled off, should have been a matter of profit to one in

my line, and I must set them down a dead loss. I cannot, for my heart,

conceive the pleasure of noise, and nonsense, and drunken freaks, and

drunken quarrels, and smut, and blasphemy, and so forth, when a man

loses money instead of gaining by it. And yet many a fair estate is lost

in upholding such a useless course, and that greatly contributes to the

decay of publicans; for who the devil do you think would pay for drink

at the Black Bear, when he can have it for nothing at my Lord's or the

Squire's?"

Tressilian perceived that the wine had made some impression even on the

seasoned brain of mine host, which was chiefly to be inferred from his

declaiming against drunkenness. As he himself had carefully avoided the

bowl, he would have availed himself of the frankness of the moment

to extract from Gosling some further information upon the subject

of Anthony Foster, and the lady whom the mercer had seen in his

mansion-house; but his inquiries only set the host upon a new theme of

declamation against the wiles of the fair sex, in which he brought, at

full length, the whole wisdom of Solomon to reinforce his own. Finally,

he turned his admonitions, mixed with much objurgation, upon his

tapsters and drawers, who were employed in removing the relics of the

entertainment, and restoring order to the apartment; and at length,

joining example to precept, though with no good success, he demolished

a salver with half a score of glasses, in attempting to show how such

service was done at the Three Cranes in the Vintry, then the most

topping tavern in London. This last accident so far recalled him to his

better self, that he retired to his bed, slept sound, and awoke a new

man in the morning.




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