People of mixed race are widely evident in the world. One could point out many present day examples, prominent and otherwise. We are all in truth genetic mongrels after a fashion. Scholars project the 'tanning' of peoples will be even more a factor in the evolution of the human race. I see evidence of this all around me, from the elite of society to the hard-living folks in my small circle. I accept that it is the way of nature and is unavoidable. I do grieve the loss of distinctive generational identity, yet isn't that possible, regardless? Few care about ancient heritage in the grasping for the temporal.
Complex and toxic are our values and biases. Can 'white' Americans get their souls and minds around the legacy of white male sexual exploitation of female blacks during slavery? Can we 'own' our story…the whole story? Conversely, can the ideal and ideas about a 'big strong black buck' be denied by white people when they are standard in hardcore pornography, vintage and present day. The notion of slave-period, biracial homosexuality is repugnant to rough as well as bourgeois sensitivities, but does than negate its probability. More important…can they-we-take in the reality that there were rare situations of love between whites and blacks? Is recognition of honest reciprocitial caring and communion, regardless of color or gender, possible?
What of the hate-filled, general homophobia rampant in our culture? Can the society-wide insecurity surrounding sexuality identity be overcome?
It feels as though only hostility can possibly result from my narrating this story in all its twisted aspects and sweet possibilities.
I was once told, after one of my more energetic, pompously righteous sermons, to "be very careful attacking another's survival system!" Thank goodness that advice was delivered early in my ministry. Our denial mechanisms are well fortified, especially when it comes to our twisted, dysfunctional sexual attitudes and practices. Prudish, puritan judgementalism and guilt are present in a rampant, widespread hedonism. Amazing! I would appear that Hedonist Puritanism is a good size denomination in the land 'the free and the brave.' ***
Mr. Jones called me back from my frantic explosion of thoughts, saying, "My love for her as a child changed to love of her as a woman with her declaration and challenge. Right there, looking into her wild and frightened eyes, I realized truly what I could not dare feel. Yet I did feel it. As much as it is possible to accept love and want to return it, I did with Rebecca." He lifted his hands from his lap, turned them over and gave is thighs a firm slap. He'd told his secret and that action accented his revelation.