Bliss of Being
Gautam’s search for a guru ended in Annavaram. When he reached Vanaprastham there, he was disappointed to learn that Sripada Swami, the seer of the ashram, was in mauna vratam. And the ashramites advised Gautam to make good the time at Satyanarayana Swami’s temple. Thus, climbing up the steps to the hilltop temple of the Lord of Annavaram, he felt he visualized the aura of bhakti before swamiji showed him the light of knowledge.
The next day, Gautam got the audience of the swamiji. Baring his troubled soul to the revered seer, Gautam beseeched him to take him under his wings. Moved by Gautam’s tragic tale, the swamiji agreed to make him hisshishya and nurse him to moksha.
“But, swamiji,” said Gautam in apprehension, “given my past can I ever seek moksha?”
“It’s all about directing one’s passion,” said Sripada Swami. “If you probe the divine as passionately as you pursued the mundane then you won’t be far off moksha in this life itself.”
When a gratified Gautam wanted to donate his immense wealth to the ashram, the swamiji saw his disciple’s destiny differently.
“It’s one thing to chase the mirage of moolah and another to desert the oasis of wealth,” said the seer in compassion. “In either case, it betrays the lack of a balanced mind.”
“But then, swamiji,” said Gautam, “how can it be imbalance if after leaving my son self-sufficient I renounce the rest for the public good?”
“Won’t your largess to this ashram,” said the swamiji in smile, “dispossess your son to that extent?”
“Why, swamiji,” said a perplexed Gautam, “won’t my son be relieved of that much overburden?”
“Why do you see wealth as a bane when in reality it is a boon?” said the swamiji. “Why deny him of what is his by right and thereby induce in him a sense of deprivation? What if he covets wealth later with a vengeance? Won’t history repeat itself?”
“Swamiji, I’m confused really,” said Gautam in despair. “Pray show me the way.”
“Your confusion is the confusion of mankind,” said the seer, stroking his flowing beard. “Ironically, man’s existential confusion is caused by the two life-supporting elements—kama, the biological need, and artha, the mundane means. Kama is the innate urge for a mate accentuated as passion. And passion is but a manifestation of physical attraction between the sexes. When gratified by lovemaking, it occasions a fulfilled feeling for man and woman alike. But, sex sans love, kama is soulless mating.”
“How true it is swamiji,” said Gautam with hindsight.