I couldn’t look at my mom or at the judge, who was watching the entire debacle with sad, knowing eyes. I didn’t even want to think about all the families in worse shape than ours who had come before his bench. I shook my lawyer’s hand, and agreed to sign all the stuff he needed to get together for my community service and legal fees. I asked him to check with the cop about getting the stuff my dad had stolen back, but he didn’t sound hopeful that that was an option.
I was walking out of the courthouse and pulling my leather jacket on over my stupid button-down shirt, when I heard my name called. I didn’t want to stop, didn’t want to talk to her, considering I was still bleeding from her picking that asshole over me the last time. There was something encoded on my DNA that made me turn around and wait for her to catch up to me, though. Out here in the bright light of day, I could see every line, every mark on her face that indicated a life lived in misery and suffering. She looked so awful and so far away. There wasn’t even a shadow of the woman that I wanted to call “Mom” in there anymore.
“Jet, wait just a minute, please.”
I swore under my breath and wished that I smoked so I had something to do with my hands. I shoved them into the pockets of my jacket and tried to keep my expression blank.
“I don’t think we have anything left to say, Ma.”
She fidgeted with the strap on her purse and refused to meet my gaze head-on.
“He’s your father, Jet. You can’t send him to jail.”
I sighed. I knew it was coming, but it still felt like a blow.
“Yes, I can. He stole from me, and he dismantled my livelihood because I wouldn’t cave in to his demands. Not only can I send him, but it’s where he belongs. I’m going to Europe for three months, Mom. I’m not going to be just a phone call away the next time he tries to use you as a punching bag. I’m not going to even be on this continent the next time he spends all your mortgage money on booze and hookers. So maybe locking him up will finally make you see you’re better off without him.”
She involuntarily touched her still-yellowish bruised eye.
“He only did that the one time and he wouldn’t have been so riled up if you just would have helped him, like you always help me.”
I laughed, and it was so broken, I felt it lash across both of us.
“Are you seriously trying to blame him smacking you around on me? Nice try, Ma, but that isn’t going to fly with me anymore. I’m finished trying to force something better on you, trying to pull you into the light. If you want to live in the dark, it’s your choice, Ma, and you have no one left to blame but yourself.”
I was going to walk away, but her hand on my elbow stopped me. Her bottom lip was quivering and I would like to say it broke my heart, but I knew her concern wasn’t for me or for herself, but for that selfish bastard sitting in a cell for trying to kill my dreams.
“If you go and he’s in jail, I’ll be all alone, Jet. I can’t be alone.” The last word was said on a whisper that I barely heard.
“You know what, Ma? Alone is better than one second spent with that asshole. I’ve spent my entire life trying to make you see that I would take care of you, that I would never leave you alone. That all changed when you let them shove me in the back of police car for trying to protect you. It’s time you start protecting yourself.”
I shook her hand off, which was surprisingly easier to do than I thought it would be. I couldn’t look at her anymore, couldn’t let her shadow pull me under with it, so I took a step away from her and said, “I’ll call you when I get back. Maybe the time alone will do you some good and we can talk. If not, I’m done with this. If the old man thinks he’s going to fuck with me, fuck with my band and my music, he better get a wake-up call. I tolerated it for years, because I was so worried about you and what he would do, but now I’m only worried about me. Bye, Ma.”
I walked away with the sinking feeling I was walking away from her for good. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and called the Marked, the tattoo shop where Cora and all the boys worked. Since the shop had caller ID, Cora was less than professional when she answered the phone.
“Hey.”
“Hey, is Rowdy around?”
“Did you just get out of court?”
Man, that little pixie was like a pit bull when she had something in her teeth.
“Yeah.”
“How did it go?”
“Fine. Seriously, Cora, I want to talk to Rowdy if he isn’t busy.”
“You know all of them are going to be hounding him to know what happened as soon as he gets off the phone with you anyway, so you might as well just tell me, so I can tell them. It saves everyone time.”
I sighed and relented.
“I got a ton of community service, a million fines, and a restraining order. The old man got the cuffs and a ticket to lockup. I’m sure my mom is going to try to bail him out, but the cop assured me the theft was enough to keep him there a for a good long while, and that the bail isn’t going to be cheap. I’d like to say he was gonna be there for the whole time I’m gone, but I don’t know that it’s very realistic. I’m fine, Cora, really.”
She muttered something under her breath and I heard her call Rowdy’s name across the shop.
“I’ll consider you fine when you stop playing hide-and-seek with Ayden and just talk to her.”
I snorted. “That ship has sailed, girly.”
I think she was going to snap something back, but I heard the sounds of a scuffle and Rowdy’s gruff voice came on the line.
“Yo.”
“And it’s team Jet for the win.”
“No doubt, dude. What’s up?”