I can tell he doesn’t believe that. It’s either me or Jesse.
And Jesse has a lot to lose. Potential lawsuits, money, his retirement, the “real” life he wants so badly.
Me?
I worked so hard to get here. I worked so hard to get past my fears.
Will I lose who I’ve become?
Am I about to lose my dreams?
Help!
My high suddenly starts to bleed away.
My adrenaline disappears.
I say, “Excuse me” to Mr. Logan and the lawyers and hightail it to the nearest bathroom. It has a fancy waiting room, so I sit on a sofa and cry and cry and cry until my entire body feels like a wrung-out sponge. I practiced for hours every night, I’ve killed myself working to make enough money to come here, and it’s all over. The producers are sure to disqualify me. And even if they don’t disqualify me, there’s no way I’ll make it through the next round. The judges were harsh.
I need more practice. I need more training. My voice isn’t there yet.
But I’m up for that. Regardless of what happens here, I’m gonna work hard on my music until I croak. Performing on that stage proved that music is what I want to do for the rest of my life.
Mom comes in the bathroom and curls up with me.
“Where’s Sam?” I ask, blowing my nose.
“Watching the other singers perform and trying not to cry.”
“Sam doesn’t cry.”
“He does when his baby sister’s heart is broken.” She smiles slightly, her face covered in blotchy red spots. She’s been crying too.
Now all there’s left to do is wait to hear what the lawyers say. Please let me stay. Please let me stay, I chant in my head. Hours later, I hear a loud knock on the sitting room door. “Is Maya in there?” Jesse’s sweet voice rings out.
“Yeah,” I call. “Come in.”
Mom gives me a hug, then stands up as Jesse walks into the women’s bathroom. She pats his back as she files past him.
Jesse sits next to me on the couch. “We finished the rest of the auditions. A hundred and fifteen singers are moving on to tomorrow.”
“Cool,” I say quietly, dabbing my face with Kleenex. “I’m glad you decided to do this. You’re helping lots of people.”
He adjusts his cowboy hat. “I’m not being that nice to the contestants.”
“But you’re teaching them how to get better. That’s huge.” I elbow him. “Even if you weren’t the nicest judge, everyone’s gonna remember your advice. I know I will.”
He squeezes my hand. “Today did feel pretty good, you know?”
Hearing that makes me smile. “So what’s going on now?”
“Charles is busy annoying Mr. Tyson and the producers into letting you compete.”
“I want to stay so bad, but I don’t think that’s going to work out.”
“You doubt my lawyer’s ability to be annoying? That makes you one of a kind.” He nudges me, and I chuckle.
“What’s the point? I mean, I’m not gonna make it past the next round.”
“You deserve a chance just like everybody else in there, and if they don’t give it to you, I’ll quit. Trust me, they don’t wanna piss me off.”
I look over at him and smile slightly.
“I’m sure the lawyers will spend hours talking, so can I take you out tonight?”
“Really?” I’m going out with Jesse in New York! “My family too?”
“I’ve got something planned just for you.”
I wipe my eyes one more time. “I need to talk to my mom.”
“She already gave me permission,” he says with a big, infectious grin.
He guides me out of the bathroom and back into the near-empty auditorium. Sam rushes up and hugs me, and then Mom does the same.
“Jesse has plans for you tonight,” Mom whispers in my ear.
“What about you and Sam? Maybe we could all get dinner?”
My brother shakes his head. “You should go with Jesse.”
Wow. Whatever Jesse has planned must be big if my brother is letting me out of his sight.
“I’ll see you in a bit then,” I tell them quietly, and Sam gives Jesse an earful about how he better take good care of me. Or else.
I pull my warm coat on before we head outside. Jesse snuggles into a light brown suede coat, looking very much a farmer in his ripped jeans, beige hat, and red boots. He puts an elbow out for me, and I link my arm in his. He leads me to a stretch limo.
“Oh my God!” I blurt.