Her words take a few seconds to sink in and dig their way past all the guilt and when they do, I forget about feeling bad for keeping things from Leo and I join Emma Jo in her happy dance, grabbing her hands and bouncing up and down with her.
I quickly put an end to my squeals of delight when something else occurs to me.
“Wait, but that means we’re still responsible for killing two innocent creatures,” I remind Emma Jo sadly.
She immediately stops bouncing around and her arms fall to her sides.
“They were really cute and cuddly, too,” she adds with a frown.
“They were two rabies-infested, fly-covered, rotting carcasses who were dumb enough to steal a poisoned pie from your kitchen windowsill, drag it into the woods, and inhale it!” Bettie reminds us.
A slow smile spreads across Emma Jo’s face as she turns to Bettie.
“Yes, but they gave up their sweet, cuddly lives to prove our innocence, and Payton and I need time to mourn them. Also, they were not a thirty-two-year-old abusive man and former mayor of this town, which means Payton and I aren’t murderers!”
We give each other a high-five and Bettie sighs loudly, shaking her head at us once again.
“So, that means there’s still a killer out there, walking the streets of this Podunk town. I don’t know what scares me more, thinking you two idiots could have killed someone or not having any idea if some random stranger I met in town did it. I need a drink,” Bettie grumbles, moving away from us to open the front door.
“I’ll get the wine!” Emma Jo announces as we follow Bettie inside the house. “Every time someone says the words dead raccoons, everyone drinks!”
CHAPTER 30
Recorded Interview
June 5, 2016
Bald Knob, KY Police Department
Deputy Lloyd: Franny, you can’t just go around changing official documents from the County Commissioner’s office. Do I need to remind you this is a murder investigation?
Franny Mendleson: And do I need to remind you there are thirty-seven questions the good people of Bald Knob deserve to know the answers to?
Deputy Lloyd: About Sheriff Hudson’s love life?
Franny Mendleson: It’s the most horrible thing to happen to this town in my sixty-seven years!
Deputy Lloyd: The murder of Mayor Jackson wasn’t horrible?
Franny Mendleson: I meant, horrible for the single women of this town, obviously.
Deputy Lloyd: Franny, Sheriff Jackson and who he may or may not be seeing has nothing to do with our investigation, and I can’t have you messing things up with your need to know all the happenings in this town.
Franny Mendleson: It has everything to do with this investigation since he’s seeing a murderer! Or is it murderess? I can never remember which one.
Deputy Lloyd: Nothing has been confirmed and Payton has not been charged with any crime. You know that, since you work here and have typed up all the interviews, notes, and paperwork. We need to be focusing on the crime, not pointing fingers or wasting time with something that has no bearing on this case. I’m completely shocked that you would do something like this and not see the seriousness of the situation.
Franny Mendleson: Of course what happened to Jed Jackson is serious and terrible, but I have complete faith in the competence of this wonderful law enforcement agency that has employed me for forty years. With only one raise. And two measly weeks of vacation. I’m sure I won’t make the same mistake again, or do something silly like contact the County Commissioner’s office and tell them what’s going on.
Deputy Lloyd: I’ll speak to the sheriff about getting you a raise and another week of vacation time.
Franny Mendleson: While you’re at it, make sure he answers those questions. The people of Bald Knob need to know.
CHAPTER 31
I love people who make me laugh, make me think, and make me coffee. Not necessarily in that order.
—Coffee Mug
My eyes fly open when I hear a noise, immediately regretting that decision when the morning sun blinds me and my head starts to pound, reminding me I once again drank too much wine last night. I’ve officially corrupted Emma Jo and turned her into a wino, bringing me down with her.
I groan in pain as I roll from my stomach to my side and turn my head away from the window.
“HOLY FUCKING SHIT!” I scream, bolting upright when I see Leo sitting silently on the edge of the bed, staring at me.
I bring my hand up to my aching head that hurts worse after being startled, sitting up too fast, and the ear-piercing sound of my own shout.
Thankfully, after Bettie, Emma Jo, and I disappeared into the house yesterday morning and started down the dark path of celebratory day drinking, Leo disposed of the dead raccoons and left without coming back in the house. He sent me several texts throughout the day and last night about how we were going to talk first thing in the morning, but I didn’t think he actually meant first-first thing in the morning. I thought he’d be nice enough to let me wake up first, grab some coffee, and get rid of my hangover like a decent human being. When I didn’t reply to any of his texts because…day drinking, which led to afternoon drinking, which then led to night drinking, followed up by a return of my guilty conscience, he sent one last cryptic text. Right before I dragged my drunk ass upstairs and passed out and after Bettie, Emma Jo, and I went over our murder suspect list and added a few more names now that we knew we weren’t guilty, I got a message from Leo that just said, “Know where I can get a good piece of pie?”
Let’s just say, it’s a good thing wine makes me sleepy and Emma Jo said the words “dead raccoon” enough times that the three of us went through an entire case of the stuff, otherwise I would have tossed and turned all night worrying about that damn text.