"Impatiently I waited for evening, when I might summon you to my

presence. An unusual--to me--a perfectly new character I suspected

was yours: I desired to search it deeper and know it better. You

entered the room with a look and air at once shy and independent:

you were quaintly dressed--much as you are now. I made you talk:

ere long I found you full of strange contrasts. Your garb and

manner were restricted by rule; your air was often diffident, and

altogether that of one refined by nature, but absolutely unused to

society, and a good deal afraid of making herself disadvantageously

conspicuous by some solecism or blunder; yet when addressed, you

lifted a keen, a daring, and a glowing eye to your interlocutor's

face: there was penetration and power in each glance you gave; when

plied by close questions, you found ready and round answers. Very

soon you seemed to get used to me: I believe you felt the existence

of sympathy between you and your grim and cross master, Jane; for it

was astonishing to see how quickly a certain pleasant ease

tranquillised your manner: snarl as I would, you showed no

surprise, fear, annoyance, or displeasure at my moroseness; you

watched me, and now and then smiled at me with a simple yet

sagacious grace I cannot describe. I was at once content and

stimulated with what I saw: I liked what I had seen, and wished to

see more. Yet, for a long time, I treated you distantly, and sought

your company rarely. I was an intellectual epicure, and wished to

prolong the gratification of making this novel and piquant

acquaintance: besides, I was for a while troubled with a haunting

fear that if I handled the flower freely its bloom would fade--the

sweet charm of freshness would leave it. I did not then know that

it was no transitory blossom, but rather the radiant resemblance of

one, cut in an indestructible gem. Moreover, I wished to see

whether you would seek me if I shunned you--but you did not; you

kept in the schoolroom as still as your own desk and easel; if by

chance I met you, you passed me as soon, and with as little token of

recognition, as was consistent with respect. Your habitual

expression in those days, Jane, was a thoughtful look; not

despondent, for you were not sickly; but not buoyant, for you had

little hope, and no actual pleasure. I wondered what you thought of

me, or if you ever thought of me, and resolved to find this out.

"I resumed my notice of you. There was something glad in your

glance, and genial in your manner, when you conversed: I saw you

had a social heart; it was the silent schoolroom--it was the tedium

of your life--that made you mournful. I permitted myself the

delight of being kind to you; kindness stirred emotion soon: your

face became soft in expression, your tones gentle; I liked my name

pronounced by your lips in a grateful happy accent. I used to enjoy

a chance meeting with you, Jane, at this time: there was a curious

hesitation in your manner: you glanced at me with a slight trouble-

-a hovering doubt: you did not know what my caprice might be--

whether I was going to play the master and be stern, or the friend

and be benignant. I was now too fond of you often to simulate the

first whim; and, when I stretched my hand out cordially, such bloom

and light and bliss rose to your young, wistful features, I had much

ado often to avoid straining you then and there to my heart."




readonlinefreebook.com Copyright 2016 - 2024