A sneer, however, whether covert or open, had now no longer that

power over me it once possessed: as I sat between my cousins, I was

surprised to find how easy I felt under the total neglect of the one

and the semi-sarcastic attentions of the other--Eliza did not

mortify, nor Georgiana ruffle me. The fact was, I had other things

to think about; within the last few months feelings had been stirred

in me so much more potent than any they could raise--pains and

pleasures so much more acute and exquisite had been excited than any

it was in their power to inflict or bestow--that their airs gave me

no concern either for good or bad.

"How is Mrs. Reed?" I asked soon, looking calmly at Georgiana, who

thought fit to bridle at the direct address, as if it were an

unexpected liberty.

"Mrs. Reed? Ah! mama, you mean; she is extremely poorly: I doubt

if you can see her to-night."

"If," said I, "you would just step upstairs and tell her I am come,

I should be much obliged to you."

Georgiana almost started, and she opened her blue eyes wild and

wide. "I know she had a particular wish to see me," I added, "and I

would not defer attending to her desire longer than is absolutely

necessary."

"Mama dislikes being disturbed in an evening," remarked Eliza. I

soon rose, quietly took off my bonnet and gloves, uninvited, and

said I would just step out to Bessie--who was, I dared say, in the

kitchen--and ask her to ascertain whether Mrs. Reed was disposed to

receive me or not to-night. I went, and having found Bessie and

despatched her on my errand, I proceeded to take further measures.

It had heretofore been my habit always to shrink from arrogance:

received as I had been to-day, I should, a year ago, have resolved

to quit Gateshead the very next morning; now, it was disclosed to me

all at once that that would be a foolish plan. I had taken a

journey of a hundred miles to see my aunt, and I must stay with her

till she was better--or dead: as to her daughters' pride or folly,

I must put it on one side, make myself independent of it. So I

addressed the housekeeper; asked her to show me a room, told her I

should probably be a visitor here for a week or two, had my trunk

conveyed to my chamber, and followed it thither myself: I met

Bessie on the landing.

"Missis is awake," said she; "I have told her you are here: come

and let us see if she will know you."




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