"YOU," I said, "a favourite with Mr. Rochester? YOU gifted with the

power of pleasing him? YOU of importance to him in any way? Go!

your folly sickens me. And you have derived pleasure from

occasional tokens of preference--equivocal tokens shown by a

gentleman of family and a man of the world to a dependent and a

novice. How dared you? Poor stupid dupe!--Could not even self-

interest make you wiser? You repeated to yourself this morning the

brief scene of last night?--Cover your face and be ashamed! He said

something in praise of your eyes, did he? Blind puppy! Open their

bleared lids and look on your own accursed senselessness! It does

good to no woman to be flattered by her superior, who cannot

possibly intend to marry her; and it is madness in all women to let

a secret love kindle within them, which, if unreturned and unknown,

must devour the life that feeds it; and, if discovered and responded

to, must lead, ignis-fatus-like, into miry wilds whence there is no

extrication.

"Listen, then, Jane Eyre, to your sentence: tomorrow, place the

glass before you, and draw in chalk your own picture, faithfully,

without softening one defect; omit no harsh line, smooth away no

displeasing irregularity; write under it, 'Portrait of a Governess,

disconnected, poor, and plain.' "Afterwards, take a piece of smooth ivory--you have one prepared in

your drawing-box: take your palette, mix your freshest, finest,

clearest tints; choose your most delicate camel-hair pencils;

delineate carefully the loveliest face you can imagine; paint it in

your softest shades and sweetest lines, according to the description

given by Mrs. Fairfax of Blanche Ingram; remember the raven

ringlets, the oriental eye;--What! you revert to Mr. Rochester as a

model! Order! No snivel!--no sentiment!--no regret! I will endure

only sense and resolution. Recall the august yet harmonious

lineaments, the Grecian neck and bust; let the round and dazzling

arm be visible, and the delicate hand; omit neither diamond ring nor

gold bracelet; portray faithfully the attire, aerial lace and

glistening satin, graceful scarf and golden rose; call it 'Blanche,

an accomplished lady of rank.' "Whenever, in future, you should chance to fancy Mr. Rochester

thinks well of you, take out these two pictures and compare them:

say, 'Mr. Rochester might probably win that noble lady's love, if he

chose to strive for it; is it likely he would waste a serious

thought on this indigent and insignificant plebeian?'"

"I'll do it," I resolved: and having framed this determination, I

grew calm, and fell asleep.




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