Despite the brief distraction from freaking out, Nina went right back into her own mind soon after. She was staring up at the digital screen that indicated our plane was now at the gate. A boarding announcement rang over the loud speaker.
She gripped my arm. “I don’t think I can do this. I’m serious.”
“I won’t let anything happen to you.”
“How can you say that? You don’t have any control in this case!”
I placed my hands on her cheeks and looked into her eyes. “We’re never a hundred percent in control in life, Nina. We just think we are. Something bigger than us is always in the driver’s seat. What we can control is our perception, our reactions to things. We can also control whether we choose to live life or live in fear.” I slid my palms off of her face, stood up and held out my hand. “Now, give me your hand. I’ve got you.”
Nina was shaking, but she obliged. I lifted her out of the seat, her delicate arm buckling under the force of my grip. Her soft breasts brushed against my chest as I pulled her into me. I flashed a reassuring smile. “Let’s fly.”
While my smile went unreturned, she continued to cooperate and dragged her feet all the way to the plane as I rubbed her shoulders.
After we made our way to our seats, an idea came to me. “I’ll be right back.”
“Don’t leave me!” she said as I started to walk down the aisle.
“I’ll only be gone a minute.”
I walked up to a flight attendant and asked if Nina could visit the cockpit, which was open. The pilots were going over their flight plan.
“I’m sorry, sir, but this is a really packed aircraft. I don’t think that’s going to be possible.”
“My friend has never flown before. She’s extremely scared, and I think it would help if she could meet the guys in control.”
“I just don’t think so.”
I glanced worriedly over at Nina. She looked pale, breathing heavily and licking her lips incessantly. “That’s her in row nine. Look how petrified she is. People are still boarding. Please? We’ll only be a minute.”
She must have spotted the terror in Nina’s eyes, because she gave in. “Go back to your seat. I’ll talk to the pilot and call you up if they allow it.”
“Thank you. I really appreciate it.”
A few minutes later, she waved her hand at us.
“Come on, Nina. We’re gonna go meet the pilots real quick.” She took my hand and followed me down the aisle as we squeezed past incoming passengers. I looked behind my shoulders at her and said, “It’s not a faceless vessel. You need to see that there are qualified people at the helm.”
They wouldn’t let me go in with her, so I stayed back just outside the cockpit door. The pilot and co-pilot seemed very friendly, showing Nina all of the controls and touting the years of flight hours they had between the two of them. Both had white hair, so that was a good sign. She was clearly still scared shitless, but I think it helped to reassure her just a smidge.
I turned to the flight attendant. “Thanks again for your help.”
She straightened her navy skirt and licked her lips. “No problem. If you want, you can make it up to me when we land.” She smiled. “You’re adorable.”
Before I could respond, Nina appeared next to me. I nodded once to the attendant, blatantly ignoring her proposition and led Nina back to our seats.
Her breathing was becoming erratic. She wouldn’t look at me.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
She barely got the word out in between breaths, “No.”
“Hold my hand, Nina. Squeeze it as hard as you need to. Breathe.”
When the engines turned on, her grip on my hand tightened. She was holding onto me for dear life, her fear more tangible this time than it had been during our elevator exercise. The fact that she’d never experienced this before must have made her reaction more intense. When the plane started to move, her breathing became even more uncontrolled, and it sounded like she was wheezing. I’d packed some small brown paper bags in case she hyperventilated. Taking one out, I handed it to her. “Breathe into this, baby.”
So caught up in the moment, I hadn’t meant to call her that. It just came out, but honestly, it was doubtful that she even heard it.
The bag didn’t seem to be helping her catch her breath, and it was actually freaking me out a little because if she really were in some kind of physical danger, there was no way to get her medical help. I had to think fast in order to get her mind off the impending takeoff somehow. Two ideas came to me: kiss her senseless or tickle her feet.
Since it would make for a sucky memory if she passed out or foamed at the mouth during our first kiss, the second option would have to be it. Nina had told me once that her brother used to torture her by tickling her feet. If I did it on takeoff, she would have no choice but to succumb to laughter. That would make it impossible for her to focus on the scary thoughts that were feeding her panic and causing her to lose her breath.
The plane started picking up speed, and amidst the sound of the roaring engines, I bent down and quickly untied her shoes. Before she could ask me what the fuck I was doing, I started to tickle the bottoms of her feet. She was wiggling, kicking and most importantly, laughing. As the plane tilted upward for takeoff, my ears started to pop, but it didn’t slow me down.
“Jake…stop!”
I looked up at her but refused to stop tickling despite her constant begging. Tears of laughter were pouring out of her eyes. The cackle of my own hysterical laughter resonated through the narrow space. When I finally came up for air, we were cruising. The old lady across the aisle was saying a rosary and giving me a dirty look for having interrupted her. We’d disturbed the peace, but it was worth it. Hallelujah.