I decided it would be best not to mention the twins thing to Kiyo. As it was, I was having a hard enough time processing it.
Twins.
Twins?
This was the ultimate "when it rains, it pours" cliche. I'd gotten pregnant through an idiotic slip, putting me right in the line of the prophecy I'd tried to avoid for so long. And now, just when I'd managed to coax an early test so I could nip this situation in the bud, I was faced with a potential situation that I never, never could have foreseen.
Kiyo had been right. I should have terminated the pregnancy the instant I found out, before I knew more about it. It was becoming real now. Every detail I learned made it more substantial, giving more life to what I carried within me. It's not too late. You don't have to wait for the results. Maybe it's better if you don't.
I'd boldly told Jasmine that I'd keep the twins if they were girls, but the reality of that was harsh. How would I raise two children? I didn't know if I could handle one. How could I manage motherhood when half my life was spent in another world? How could I even keep working? Would I get a nanny - or force my kids onto someone like Tim or my mom? That latter seemed pretty unlikely. And then, of course, I was faced with the most mundane problem of all.
Money.
"You're going to be in serious trouble if you don't start working again soon," Lara told me the day after I'd seen the doctor. She'd spent the night again and was sitting at my kitchen table with me. In front of her, a laptop showed an array of spreadsheets. "You're still okay ... but it won't last. Part of your money goes into the business's account - the one I'm paid from. The other profits go to your savings. The first one's running pretty low ... and if it goes empty ..."
"We go into my savings," I finished.
She nodded. Her face was grim, a far cry from the giddiness she'd shown when she and Tim had stumbled out of bed this morning. A bitter part of me thought maybe I could pick up extra cash by charging her rent. I dismissed that, of course. None of this was her fault.
"I know there's ... stuff ... going on, Eugenie, but why can't you start taking more jobs? You cut the workload before, and we still did okay, but now ... there's next to nothing. Your savings can't hold out that long. And what on earth did Enrique do that got us such a large bill?"
I ignored that and simply stared at the numbers on the screen, my heart sinking. "I've got a lot of equity in the house."
"What?" Her jaw nearly dropped. "You'd risk your house instead of just taking on more work?"
A terrible image came to my mind: me, trapped in some small apartment with two screaming babies. End it, just end it.
"It's just an option," I pointed out. "A safety net. And speaking of which ... Did you talk to Enrique?"
Lara nodded. "I did. I'm going to do a little administrative work for him on the side."
"Good." One less thing to feel guilty about. "You'll be okay then."
"This isn't about me! I don't understand. Why can't you just take a couple of jobs? I've got reams of requests! There are easy ones, like that ghost the other day."
I tried to hide my dismay at that. "I haven't been feeling well, that's all. And this is kind of a physical line of work."
Lara's blue eyes scrutinized me for several seconds. "Then maybe you're the one who needs to be looking for another job."
"No!" I exclaimed. "This is what I do. It's the only thing I do."
"But if you're sick - "
"I'm fine. I'm seeing the doctor tomorrow and then ..." I faltered. And then what? "And then I'll be fine. Back to work. My appointment's at noon, so hell, you could schedule something later that afternoon. Find me a troll or a banshee."
She sighed. "I didn't mean to upset you."
"I'm not upset." But it was a lie. My volume had increased without my realizing it, and I felt flushed.
Lara rose, shutting the laptop and picking up her plate. "Just get yourself better. We can figure this out then. Do you need a ride or anything tomorrow?"
"I'm not that sick," I told her. And, of course, I could always have my unlicensed teenage sister drive me. "We'll be back in business again soon, you'll see."
Lara gave me a tight smile, trying to hide concern but failing. She wandered off to Tim's bedroom, and Jasmine sat up on the couch, where she'd overheard everything. "That's a good idea, you know," she said. "Sell this place. Just move to the Otherworld with the kids."
I started to rebuke her but paused. It was an option. I'd have plenty of daycare there - a whole castle of babysitters. My daughters would be raised like royalty. They were royalty. But raising them there meant they'd probably lose whatever humanity was in them. They would be gentry for all intents and purposes. Was that what I wanted? It was already happening to me.
"They may be boys," I reminded Jasmine. "Then it's back to work."
Kiyo called that night, wanting to know if I'd heard anything. I told him it was too soon for the results but that I'd let him know when the doctor called. It was a small lie. As I'd slipped to Lara, I was actually going back to the office for the results. Twins had popped me into a high-risk category, apparently, and along with delivering the results in person, they'd wanted to do another ultrasound. I didn't want Kiyo around for that, obviously, but I wouldn't have minded him coming over that night. I wanted the contact, the love. Most importantly, I wanted to feel like he wasn't repulsed by me in my current state.
When noon came the next day, I went like someone going to her own funeral. My mind was blank, unable to focus on anything, and Jasmine probably would have been a safer driver. She'd come along; there'd been no discussion. Neither of us spoke on the drive over, and I could see she was wound just as tightly with tension. Whatever happened, it was going to be big.
"Soon," I murmured as we walked in. "Soon this'll be over, one way or another."
Or not so soon.
The office was running behind, and it was like the continuation of some cosmic joke. I'd been counting down the seconds until this moment, and now the wait was indefinite while Dr. Sartori caught up with his schedule. Admittedly, I'd never felt angry at doctors who fell behind. I figured it just meant they were giving needed time and care to their patients. Maybe he was tied up because some other woman had discovered she was having a world-conquering monster.
"Eugenie?" The sound of my name made me flinch. A nurse smiled serenely at me. "We're ready for you."