I wished I knew where he was. I missed him.
“All right,” I told the wire nymphs, smiling to ease their nervousness. “Then I’m at your mercy, I suppose. Lead the way.”
An indefinite time later, after being poked, prodded, stuffed into a gown, my hair teased into curls and my face touched with makeup, I went back toward the bedroom, relieved that it was done. This was one of the things I didn’t particularly care for; these extremely formal affairs that required me to look the part of a powerful faery queen. I understood Ash’s reluctance. Faery politics were tricky, conniving and, if you weren’t careful, extremely dangerous. I’d had to learn the ropes fast. Thankfully, Glitch and Fix were there to offer guidance when I needed it, and now Ash was here, as well. And the youngest son of the Unseelie Queen was no slouch when it came to the power struggles between the faery courts.
Speaking of which…
He was waiting for me outside our chamber doors, leaning against one of the pillars, arms crossed. Seeing him, I paused to collect myself. Ash in his black-and-silver uniform cut a striking figure against the white marble column, his cloak draping his shoulders and his sword at his side. It reminded me of our first dance together, my first Elysium, when I’d seen the cold, dangerous son of Queen Mab up close for the first time and was completely lost. Call it fate, destiny or just blatant hardheadedness on both our parts, from that moment on, there was no turning back.
As I approached, he smiled and pushed himself off the column, extending a hand. He had this uncanny ability to see everything about me in a single glance without taking his eyes from my face. I sensed he was doing that now. His expression looked a bit dazed, for just a moment, before he took my hand and kissed the backs of my knuckles, a perfect gentleman even now.
“Well.” I sighed, ignoring the butterflies set loose in my stomach. “Here am I, all fancied up and ready to go to Elysium.” I glanced down at the metallic gray-and-white fabric of my dress, befitting colors for the Iron Queen, and shook my head. “I hope this gown is heavy enough. Mab’s palace isn’t exactly the warmest place in the Nevernever.”
“You look beautiful,” Ash said, pulling me close. I blushed, and a slightly mischievous look crossed his face. “I’m glad Fix was able to talk you out of jeans and a T-shirt.”
I swatted his stomach with the back of my hand. He laughed softly, offering an arm, and together we walked through the long hallways of the Iron palace. Gremlins scurried over the walls and ceilings, cackling, and Iron knights lowered their heads as we passed. Hacker elves, Cog dwarves, wire nymphs and clockwork men all bowed as we went by, before continuing their duties. My Iron fey. It was hard to believe that a few years ago I was a normal teenager living in the Louisiana swamps, and the Iron fey were slowly making their move to destroy the Nevernever. Now I was their queen, and they, while not really welcome in the wyldwood and the other courts, were no longer considered abominations to be eradicated. So much had changed. I had changed, and so had everyone around me.
I snuck a glance at my knight, walking quietly at my side. He seemed truly at ease now, comfortable and content in the Iron palace. Though his gaze constantly swept our surroundings, taking everything in, and he watched every faery I spoke to with searing intensity, ready to spring into action if needed, he’d acclimated to the Iron Realm surprisingly well. I’d been worried at first, that he would miss Tir Na Nog and the Winter Court and would have a hard time adjusting to the alien nature of the Iron realm and the fey within it. But he’d slipped into his role here surprisingly well, almost like it was familiar. Like he’d done it all before.
And, strangely enough, maybe he had. I didn’t know what Ash had gone through on his voyage to the End of the World to earn his soul. He’d told me the gist of it, without going into too many painful details, and what he had told me seemed almost too crazy to believe. One section in particular, the part where he’d seen a future version of us, he didn’t speak of much at all. It wasn’t that he was being evasive, but he’d explained that he didn’t want to color our future with what-ifs and things that might never happen.
Truthfully, I wasn’t worried. I knew he would tell me everything, down to the last detail, if I really wanted him to. But Ash was here, in the Iron Realm. He had found a way to survive, to be with me. That was all that really mattered.
“You’re staring at me again,” Ash murmured without turning his head, though one corner of his lips quirked up. His silver eyes danced mischievously. “Is it the uniform? Perhaps I should remove it if it’s so distracting.”
“Behave, Ash.” I wrinkled my nose at him, smiling. “And don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing. Your little ploy to get out of Elysium isn’t going to—”
I gasped as, without warning, my stomach turned over and a bout of dizziness made the walls spin. I tried to say something to Ash, to ease the alarm and worry on his face, but the ground beneath my feet tilted, and the floor rushed up at me.
CHAPTER TWO
“Meghan!”
Groaning, I opened my eyes.
I lay on my back on the cold floor, the walls still swaying slightly, the last of the dizziness fading. Ash knelt beside me, his arms under my shoulders, gently easing me down. He’d caught me, of course, and was now watching me with a pale, alarmed expression. The hand suddenly gripping my own was painfully tight.
“Meghan.”
“I’m…all right, Ash.” Wincing, I sat up, breathing deep as the world went normal again. “I just…fainted, I guess.” Well, that was humiliating. Here I was, the Queen of the Iron Fey, passing out in my own hall. Good thing we weren’t in Tir Na Nog yet; showing weakness like that in front of the Unseelie was asking for trouble.
“Are you sick? What happened?” Ash took my elbow and gently helped me stand, eyes bright as he stared at me, appraising. “Should I call for a healer?”
“No. I’m fine.” I put a hand on his arm, squeezing once. “It’s nothing. I guess I’ve been working too hard lately. I feel perfectly all right now, promise.”
“Maybe we shouldn’t go to Elysium,” Ash said, sounding unconvinced of my all-rightness. “Have Glitch send Mab and Oberon our apologies. If something is wrong—”
“No.” I faced him, my voice firm. “I’m the Iron Queen, and this is something I cannot miss. It’s not negotiable. I have to go.”
“Meghan…”
“If I don’t show up, it will make this realm look weak, and we can’t afford that. You know what Mab will think, Ash. You, of all people, know what she’s like.”
Ash nodded once. “I know,” he murmured darkly.
“I won’t put my people in danger.” Turning from him, I gazed down the hall, watching the gremlins and the Iron knights and the packrats and everyone. “I can’t fail them, Ash,” I said. “I won’t. I won’t have the other courts thinking the Iron Queen isn’t strong enough to come to Elysium, to protect her own people.”
“No one will ever think that.” Ash stepped up behind me, his strong hands on my shoulders. “But you’re going to Tir Na Nog no matter what I say, aren’t you?” He sounded resigned, and I didn’t have to answer. Sighing, he lowered his head, his lips brushing my ear. “I’ve never been able to stop you, my queen,” he murmured, “but I do want you to know that I might be a little overprotective tonight. These are your people, so that makes them mine as well, but my first and only duty is to you. Always.”
“Majesty!”
Glitch strode toward us before I could answer. Neon lightning snapped in his hair, throwing purple shadows over the walls as he bowed. “The carriages are here,” the First Lieutenant said with a nod to Ash, who inclined his head in return. “We are ready to depart for Tir Na Nog, with your approval.”
“Then let’s go. We shouldn’t keep Mab waiting.” Before either of them could reply, I strode forward with my head up and my back straight as Fix had instructed. The walk of a queen, regal and confident. After a moment, Ash fell into step beside me. I could sense he wanted to say something, argue with me, but he kept silent and didn’t bring it up again during the long, cold ride to Winter.
* * *
To put it mildly, the court of the Winter Queen was not my favorite place in the Nevernever. The last time I’d been to Tir Na Nog, I’d been a prisoner of Queen Mab and the Unseelie Court. My own doing, of course. It was part of a deal I’d made with Ash in exchange for getting my brother home safely. And though I’d do it all again if I had to, it was, as I remembered it, the worst few weeks of my life. Mab despised me, her middle son, Rowan, constantly tormented me and her Unseelie subjects either wanted to kill, freeze, torture or eat me.
Then there was Ash. He had been there as well, but he had turned cold and cruel, abandoning me to the mercy of his brother and queen. Or so I’d thought at the time. The Winter Court is brutal and unmerciful, viewing emotion as a weakness that must be destroyed. Ash had been keeping me safe the only way he knew how: by playing the part of a heartless Winter prince. He’d played it well; he’d hinted to me about how he would have to treat me when we got there, and I’d still believed his act wholeheartedly. I’d thought he had turned on me, used me, and my heart had broken into little pieces. I didn’t realize until later how much Ash had sacrificed to keep me safe.
God, I was so naive, I thought, watching crystalline stalactites roll by the carriage windows. Mab’s palace resided in an enormous icy cavern, the ceiling so high you couldn’t see it through the darkness. I’m lucky I didn’t get eaten the very first day I was there. If I could go back to that moment and talk to myself, I’d probably smack me. Thinking of that shy, uncertain girl now made me sigh. You can’t afford to wear your heart on your sleeve anymore, Meghan. Not in the Winter Court. You’re the Iron Queen now. You have a whole kingdom counting on you to be strong.
The palace came into view through the carriage windows, a pristine, glacial blue castle with ice hanging off every tower, coating every step, as beautiful as it was deadly. Just like its queen.
Who, admittedly, was not terribly pleased with me for marrying her favorite—and now only—son.
I looked at Ash, who was gazing toward the palace, his eyes distant and his face blank. Remembering, just like me. I felt a twinge of sadness, empathy and guilt. This had to be hard for him.
“Hey.” I touched the back of his palm, where a gold band entwined with silver vines and leaves circled his third finger, a twin of my own. He turned almost guiltily, and I smiled at him. “You all right?”
“Yes.” He nodded. “I’m fine. Just…” He nodded out the window, to the frozen spires looming above the rooftops, and shrugged. “Memories.”
“Do you miss it?”
“The court? The squabbles and backstabbing and constantly having to watch what I said or did? Hardly.” He snorted, and I smiled, relieved to hear it.