A lot of background noise hit my ears first and then Claudia’s quiet voice. “Merry Christmas.”
I didn’t recognize her tone and I didn’t like it. “Honey, where are you?” I frowned. “What’s going on?”
“My dad and I got into a fight,” her voice shook on the words. “He was drunk. He … he’s not my dad, Charley. He told me he’s not my real father.”
Shock winded me for a minute. “Wha …”
“My oversharing assholes for parents told me they had an open relationship when they first got married. My mom was seeing an artist. When I was five, Dad didn’t think I looked like him because neither of my parents has green eyes and that art guy did. My dad got a paternity test. They’ve known I’m not his for fifteen years.”
“Oh God, Claudia.” I closed my eyes, hating the pain in her voice and wishing I could just slam her self-absorbed parents’ heads against the wall.
She laughed softly, the sound breaking on a sob. “Dad was so callous, you know, like what he just told me didn’t matter. I guess it makes sense why he’s been an indifferent as**ole toward me my whole life. And Mom. Mom’s walking around with these big guilty puppy dog eyes and I just couldn’t be there anymore.” She sniffled. “I’m at San Diego International. My flight leaves in half an hour.”
I nodded. “What’s your flight number? I’ll pick you up.”
“I’m sorry, Charley, I know it’ll be late.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I waved off her apology. “I’ll be there.”
She shot off the flight number and I hung up, a weight pressing on my chest for her. My solemn eyes hit Rick’s questioning ones. “Claudia just had the Christmas from hell.”
By the time Claud’s flight got into O’Hare, it was almost two in the morning. I was jacked up on caffeine so I’d stay awake for the drive. Rick wanted to come with me, but I thought it was better that I collect Claudia myself. She didn’t sound like she was in good shape and having someone around she didn’t know that well might not be helpful.
Mom and Dad wanted me to stay at a hotel with her in Chicago but I just wanted to get her home to somewhere she felt loved and wanted.
When I saw her just inside the doors of the airport, I put my arms around her and she started to cry. I held onto her for a long time until she finally pulled back and gave me a wobbly smile. “Have I ever told you you’re the bestest best friend ever?”
“You’re my family,” I told her quietly, pulling on her hand and leading her out to my car. “Nothing is more important, least of all sleep,” I teased.
She laughed softly and got in the car while I loaded her suitcase into the trunk.
As we drove out of Chicago and back toward Indiana, she told me everything from start to finish. Before I’d thought her dad was an ass—now I thought he was scum. The guy really didn’t seem to care that he’d completely destroyed his daughter. He thought it no big deal that finding out the man you thought was your father really wasn’t.
He hadn’t even called Claudia and she’d been missing for over six hours.
Scum.
After a while Claudia lapsed into silence and I glanced down to see her tearing at a piece of paper, her fingers working frantically, nervously. “It’s going to be okay,” I assured her.
She nodded but didn’t answer.
How long would it take me to drive to California? I wondered if Rick could help me commit the perfect murder.
Claudia’s phone ringing made us both jump. We held our breaths as she pulled it out of her bag. Her expression fell a little as she said, “It’s Beck. I texted him while I was waiting for you, but I thought he’d be asleep.”
“Answer it.”
She did. “Hey. Did you have a nice Christmas?” she waited and then frowned. “What? No, I’ll explain it later. I’m fine now, though, okay … no, I’m fine … Look, it was a pretty big blowout with my parents but I’m dealing … I’m here, actually. Charley picked me up at O’Hare. We’re driving back to her parents’ house … Well, because I didn’t want to disturb you … Beck, no, I’m fine … it’s nothing … Okay, I promise … yeah, I promise I’ll call you next time … I’ll tell you about it later … Yeah, my girl’s got me … I’m sure … Oh? What happened? … You’re kidding me?” I felt her wide eyes on me. “Yeah. I’ll let her know … We’ll talk later? … Yeah … You too.”
My heart was pounding as she hung up, knowing that whatever Beck had said, it had something to do with me. Claudia exhaled heavily, her long dark hair falling in front of her face. She tucked it behind her ear and I felt her eyes on me. “He’s pissed I didn’t call him to come get me.”
“Of course he is,” I muttered, beginning to lose patience with Beck’s behavior when it came to my best friend. All the caffeine, tiredness, Claudia’s shock, and the fact that I knew something had happened probably didn’t help my irritability much.
“Also … Jake broke up with Melissa the day you guys arrived back in Chicago.”
As though she’d stood on my chest instead of delivering news, I fought to breathe for a moment, my hands tightening around the steering wheel. I couldn’t speak.
“Apparently he’s been trying to contact you?”
Swallowing hard, I nodded.
“So …?”
I glanced at her expectant face and shook my head, doing my best to shove the news of Jake’s breakup and all the consequent questions to the back of my mind. “Now is not the time. You’re more important. We’re going to go home and drown your sorrows in chocolate pie. Okay?”
She continued to stare at me for a moment, her concern palpable, which was crazy considering what she’d just been through. Finally, my best friend let it drop. She nodded and settled more comfortably in the passenger seat. “Sounds good to me.”
Chapter Twenty
The overbearing nosiness, teasing, and coddling of my family helped Claudia get through the rest of the winter vacation with me in Indiana, but the hurt and confusion in the back of her beautiful eyes never quite disappeared. When she finally told Beck what happened, the guy jumped on a bus to Indiana and spent the night on my parents’ couch. To my surprise, my parents loved Beck. I’d thought he’d scare them off with his tats and his devotion to a guitar pick, but it turned out Beck was a lot like Jake. He could turn on the respectful charm in an instant.
After Beck took her for a walk around town to talk, Claudia came back with a glimmer behind her eyes. Whatever he’d said to her had her calling her parents as soon she returned. Dad was at work and Rick and Andie had gone back to Chicago, so Beck, Mom, and I sat in the sitting room pretending to ignore Claudia’s raised voice as she yelled into the phone in the kitchen.
Twenty minutes later she stepped into the sitting room with a tight smile on her face. “Well, he didn’t exactly apologize.” She shrugged but I could see the hurt she was trying to conceal. I knew by the way Beck’s fingers curled into fists that he could see that too. “But he upped my credit card allowance and offered to book me and my friends on a vacation before we return for classes.”
My mom looked horrified. “That’s … nice?”
Claudia rolled her eyes. “It’s whatever …but …” She grinned at me. “I was thinking we’ve got four days before classes begin when we get back to Edinburgh. Why don’t we all take a trip to the Highlands? I mean, we’re in Scotland and we’ve barely stepped outside Edinburgh.”
“All of us?”
I still hadn’t answered Jake’s attempts to contact me. Although I was dying to know why he broke it off with Melissa on the first day of Christmas vacation, I was also terrified to discover what he wanted from me. Confused as I was, I wasn’t sure I could handle it if he still wanted to be “just friends.” And yet I knew I wasn’t sure I could handle being anything more. The original reason for me backing off was apparently no longer an issue, but still … I was afraid to be around Jake. Me. Afraid? How crap was that?
Thus, I didn’t really want to be stuck on a minivacation with him.
Claudia nodded and hurried over to where she’d dumped her laptop. “Like a cabin or a lodge somewhere.”
Beck nodded. “I’m sure Lowe and the guys will be up for it.”
“I was thinking us, Lowe, Matt, Denver, Rowena, and Jake. I’d invite Maggie, Lauren, and Gemma, but I really don’t think we hang out enough for that not to be awkward. Plus, Maggie has a whopping big crush on Beck. It’s a little irritating to be around.”
“For who?” Beck smirked and relaxed into my dad’s armchair. “Definitely not me.”
The two of them bantered back and forth but I was too busy trying to control my racing heartbeat and the cold sweat prickling over my skin.
Okay, so I hadn’t exactly told Claudia of my plans to avoid Jake. He’d texted a couple of times since her arrival and he’d called when I didn’t reply to the texts. Claudia had been baking with my mom so she didn’t know about those, but she knew I’d been avoiding contact with him. Gauging me well on the subject, and still in turmoil over her own actual drama, she hadn’t badgered me about it.
Two hours later Claudia had found a lodge in a place called Fort William, a town on a loch about a five-hour train journey from Edinburgh. The lodge accommodated ten people and was in a place that did look beautiful and not too isolated, but I couldn’t really appreciate the beauty of it. I was too busy trying to work out ways to get out of it, even though I knew in the end, I’d go along since the whole idea had put a spark back in Claudia’s eyes.
“I’ll call the guys,” Beck said, ducking out of the room.
“You’ll all be careful outside of the city?” my mom asked, worry creasing her forehead.
Claudia nodded. “Of course, Delia Mom. We can get a train from Edinburgh straight there and we’ll get a taxi to the lodge. And we’ve got all the guys with us. We’ll be fine.”
Oh, yeah. We’d be freaking awesome.
I pretended to bury my nose in the site images so I didn’t have to fake a smile both Claud and my mom would see right through.
Five minutes later Beck walked back into the room smiling. “Most of the guys are up for it. Denver is emailing Rowena to see if she wants to come with us but Jake said he’s not sure.”
Yes! There is a God!
Trying to hide my grin, and suddenly feeling very excited about our trip north, I shrugged casually. “That’s cool. We’ll still have fun without him.”
I deliberately ignored Beck’s burning gaze, sensing he was desperate to ask what my problem was. Thankfully Mom was there, so he didn’t get his chance.
Beck returned home that night and Claudia successfully avoided talking about his sudden white-knight appearance for about two days, just as I successfully avoided talking about Jake.
We were lounging around the sitting room watching a Disney Pixar movie when my cell rang. It was on the floor near Claud and she lifted it absentmindedly to me. “It’s Jake.”
Feeling that unwelcome churn in my gut, I took it from her and hit the disconnect button.
Claudia glanced up at me over her shoulder. “You didn’t answer? Again?”
I pinched my lips together and threw the phone beside me on the couch.
In response, she paused the movie and turned around. “You’re ignoring him? Since when?”
“Since I got home. I didn’t want to say anything because you’re going through something serious. My drama with Jake and Melissa doesn’t even matter.”
“Of course it matters,” she scowled at me. “And remember … there is no longer a Jake and Melissa and I think we can all guess why. Don’t you want to find out for sure?”
“I’m not ready to. I can’t be his friend and I’m not sure I can be anything else. So … for now, I’m happy with avoidance,” I replied softly.
Claudia’s eyes melted with concern. “You’re a mess.”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“So … you’re just ignoring him? You’re not even going to talk to him about it?”
I shook my head. “What’s the point? I don’t want to have this big heart-to-heart with him. Look, I know I miss him, I know I still want him, I know that he can make me feel on top of the world and seconds later like shit. But I also know I don’t trust him with my feelings. You’re right. It’s a mess.” I closed my eyes. “Honestly, I think the best thing to do is walk away. Move on. A clean break.” I shrugged. “And you know it might sound petty, but he left me last time with a crappy explanation and no closure. I don’t owe him a chat. I don’t owe him anything.”
The expression in Claudia’s eyes suggested she disagreed but she kept her mouth shut and just nodded.
“What about you and Beck?” I arched an eyebrow, trying to turn the spotlight off me. “He rushed all the way to Indiana to make sure you were okay. He took you for a walk and when you came back, you seemed better. A lot better. Not even I lifted your spirits the way he did.”
As soon as her eyes dimmed, I kicked myself for bringing it up. “I’m just as confused as you are. We walked and he … he just gets it, you know. His mom or whatever. My parents are never going to give me what I need emotionally, but Beck suggested I needed to tell them how much they hurt me, even if it didn’t penetrate. He said I needed that closure. And he was right. They didn’t say they were sorry or that they loved me, but they came as close to an apology as I’ll ever get out of them—upping my credit card limit and sending me on vacation.”