“You heard what she said.”
Julian spun back toward him, his jaw clenched and unclenched as he ground his teeth. Frustration boiled from him, murder radiated out of him. Devon shuddered, his own murderous urges simmering just beneath the surface. “I don’t understand.”
Devon closed his eyes, taking a moment to steady himself. “Neither do I,” he admitted. “But Cassie is different than us; she’s everything that is good and right in the world.” Julian’s eyes flickered, narrowing slightly. “It’s why I love her; it’s why we both love her.”
Though it killed him to say those words, he knew that they were true. Julian did love her; even if he didn’t understand her at all. Julian would do whatever he could for her, he would keep her safe, and he would do anything he could to make her happy. But they both knew that this could not be one of those times. Julian studied him intently, his eyes hooded and thoughtful. Devon’s hands clenched as he fought the urge to punch Julian. He did not blame him for loving Cassie, it was impossible not to, but she belonged to him, and the thought of another person coveting her was enough to make him want to snap.
“Is that why we love her?” Julian inquired softly. “Or is it because of the darkness inside of her? Is it because we both know that something else resides in her, and we both respond to it?”
Devon started in surprise, his eyes narrowed fiercely. “What do you mean?” he growled.
Julian quirked an eyebrow, though that movement was usually one of amusement, there was no humor in him now. “You know what I mean Devon. Yes, she is exceedingly giving and caring and loving, but there is darkness in her. That darkness was there even before those bastards took us. I recognized it in her from the beginning, and if you really think about it, you did too. So, was it her goodness, or her darkness that pulled us both in?”
Devon opened his mouth to protest Julian’s statement, but he snapped it quickly closed. He knew what Cassie was, he knew better than anyone what she was capable of, but he had never truly acknowledged what was inside of her. He thought back to when he had first seen her, when he had been drawn to her like a moth to a flame. Her inner light had shone brilliantly against the dark night surrounding her; she had stood out against the crowd of students gathered around her. Though he had not known what she was, he had been unable to resist her; unable to leave her side from the moment he had seen her.
But he had believed that it had been her light that had pulled him in, but had it also been the darkness inside of her? Had he also been drawn in by the power that had taking control of her, and enabled her to kill Isla even before she had been experimented on, tortured endlessly, and injected with Julian’s blood? Had the darkness, and the monster inside of him, recognized its kin in her?
Devon hated the thought, but it was one that he had to face. He hated the demon inside of him. Cassie had enabled him to keep that beast locked away as best he could, but she also had one inside of her, lurking beneath the surface, waiting to break free. Waiting to destroy whatever enemy it had to destroy. Though he truly believed she was everything good, he also knew that there was a shadow inside of her.
That there always had been.
“It doesn’t matter what pulled us in,” Devon said softly, though he wanted to believe it was only the good, for both of them. “We’re both here now, and the good in her far outweighs the evil.”
“Does it?”
Devon spun on him, his hands fisting at his sides. “Yes, it does. I know what pulled me in!” he hissed. “It may not be the same for you, and I don’t care, but we will not kill him.”
Julian studied him for a moment. “I don’t know what pulled me in,” he admitted. “Even before I began to have suspicions about her abilities, I found myself oddly obsessed with her. At first I told myself it was just for revenge against you, and a challenge, but if I truly think about it I believe it was more. I wanted her from the beginning…”
“Julian!” Devon snarled, unwilling to listen to him talk about his desire for Cassie.
Amusement finally flickered over Julian’s features. “Ok,” he said, laughing softly. “I get it, don’t poke the bear.”
“Screw you,” Devon spat at him, his lip curling. “You’re an ass.”
“Yes,” he agreed. “But, I’m an ass with a point. You and I both know that to change her is dangerous. To all of us.”
“That’s why I don’t intend to change her, not unless we know she will be safe.”
Julian rolled his eyes as he heaved a large sigh. “Come on Devon sell that line to someone else. They may believe you, Cassie may even believe you, but I know you. I’ve known you for a long long time, and you’re teetering on the edge my friend. I’m surprised you have lasted this long, but it is only a matter of time before you take what you want. And she is what you want.”
“I can control it…”
“For now,” Julian interrupted sharply. “But you need to realize the state that you are in, and the position that you have put us all in.”
Devon’s jaw clenched, his gaze darted to the man in the chair. He was watching them intently, listening to every word of their conversation. Devon glared at him, wishing that he could rip his throat out, wishing that he could sate his overwhelming thirst on the bastard. The man’s eyes widened, he leaned as far away from them as possible as he recognized the murderous intent in Devon’s eyes.
“I have not tasted her, and though I do love her, it is not the same,” Julian said softly, his voice oddly thoughtful for Julian. The guy had never been thoughtful about anything. “I’ve touched you both, so I know that your feelings run deeper and stronger than anything I have ever felt. It is why I have stayed away from her, and why I have let you have her. But I also know that she means more to me than anyone I have ever known, and I want the best for her. For now, I believe that you are the best; you are what she wants. I cannot give her what you can; I’m not ready for that yet.” Devon stared at him in disbelief. Julian was actually being selfless? Julian!? It was utterly confounding to him. “I’m just not sure if you’re what is best for her right now though.”
“Excuse me?” Devon growled.
“I don’t want her hurt, and changing her could hurt her. And you will do it eventually, no matter what you think.”
“Do you have premonitions now too?” Devon demanded.
Julian grinned at him, a frustratingly maddening grin that Devon wanted to punch right off his face. “Nope, I just know you, and I know what you want. I also know what she wants, and she’s damn persistent and determined. And what she wants is to spend eternity with you, no matter what it might do to her. When it comes to you, she has no thought of herself, or her own safety.”
Devon was silent, his hands fisted and un-fisted as he glared at the man in the chair. There was too much frustration inside of him, too much anguish and hunger. He needed to take his irritation out somewhere; there just wasn’t anywhere to do it now. Not without risking all of their safety.
“If it weren’t for the fact that I know it would destroy her, that she would not survive the loss of you, I would take her away,” Julian said softly.
Devon spun on him, rage flaring instantly through him. “You even think about taking her from me and I will destroy you!”
Julian held his hands up as he took a step back from Devon’s wrathful advance. “I just said that it would destroy her if she lost you, I wouldn’t do that to her. But I fear for her safety around you Devon, and I fear for your sanity.”
Devon took a step away from him, his jaw clenched fiercely. His gums ached, he could feel the familiar tingle of his fangs wanting to explode, wanting to destroy and tear and shred as they drained the life from something. Devon shuddered, closing his eyes as he struggled for control over his baser, instinctive urges.
“Do what needs to be done here. Find out what they did to her, and why. Find out who he is, find out how many of those things they created, and where the children are. Do it quickly Julian. I want to get her the hell out of this town and away from this ass.”
“But don’t hurt him,” Julian muttered, disappointment evident in his voice.
Devon hesitated, wanting to uphold Cassie’s wishes, but desperately needing some sort of revenge, some sort of relief from the itching desire to kill that was suffocating him. “Do what needs to be done,” Devon growled. “Whatever it takes.”
Julian’s eyes gleamed, his eyebrow crooked. “That’s the Devon I know.”
Devon’s lip curled into a snarl. He needed to get out of here, he needed to escape this store, he needed to hunt and kill. Even if he normally tried not to kill the animals he fed from, tonight that was all he wanted to do. But he could not leave here; he could not escape and leave Cassie vulnerable to the monsters that hunted this town. He was beginning to fear that he may be turning into an even bigger threat to all of them then the creatures outside the building.
Devon turned away from Julian, leaving him to his own devices. Leaving him to decide what he wished to do with the man. Devon would not interfere with what Julian decided, no matter what Cassie wanted. This man had hurt her, repeatedly, deeply; Devon wasn’t about to make sure he remained unharmed. This man was still a threat to her, and as far as Devon was concerned it was best for all of them if he were dead.
Though, he knew that Julian would not kill the man. He may hurt him, but he would not kill the him, not if Cassie had said no.
Devon strode into the backroom, his eyes instantly latched onto her. She was standing by one of the back windows, helping to heap bags of feed before the shattered glass and wood. The other three windows had already been blocked off; the bodies had been stashed against the back wall. They would need to be removed soon, before they started to smell. But then, he had no intention of staying here for that long.
They would need to get free of here soon.
Cassie turned toward him, her gorgeous eyes widened upon him. She froze in her movements, before rising slowly to face him. Though he wished for nothing more than to keep the worst part of him from her, he knew that it was impossible. She saw everything, she knew him far better than he wanted her to.
She studied him, her eyes haunted and lost, her shoulders slumping slightly as realization and acceptance settled over her. He wanted her to come to him, but she did not move. She knew what he had done, knew what he was allowing to happen in the other room. Though Devon wanted nothing more than to make her happy, he could not give her this. Her safety was foremost, no matter what, even if it made her unhappy.
Even if she ended up hating him for it.
It was time to stop letting his emotions rule him, he had inadvertently placed her in this danger because of his emotions. It was time to start taking control. Even if it meant letting the monster rule part of him.
CHAPTER 11
Cassie turned away from Devon as Julian slowly entered the room. Her heart hammered, her hands shook with the fear and uncertainty pounding through her. She had never seen that look in Devon’s eyes before, but she knew what it was. Hardness enveloped him, determination clenched his jaw. He was cold, distant; hard. He was not the man that she knew, and he was terrifying her at the moment.
Would the man she knew and loved come back to her when this was over? Had she lost him for good?
Her heart raced even faster at the thought, the blood rushed through her, hammering in her ears. Tremors shook her, her hands fisted tightly at her sides. Julian’s eyes were hooded, his head bent slightly as he studied the floor for a moment. Then, ever so slowly, he lifted his head to look at her.
Cassie swallowed heavily, her heart flipped in her chest. Though she had always known that they were powerful, deadly; that they were two of the meanest, cruelest vampires to ever walk this planet, she realized now that she had never truly believed it. Or at least she hadn’t wanted to believe it. She had wanted to ignore that fact in the two men she had come to know and love greatly.
She realized now she had been mistaken in her thinking. They may be more civil than most vampires, but they were not tamed. They were wild, fierce, and right now they were both on edge, dark, and deadly. Cassie swallowed heavily; her gaze slowly went back to Devon. He remained unmoving, his jaw locked tight, and his eyes as hard as steel. She wanted her Devon back; she wanted the warm loving man that she knew so well.
But he was not there. Not right now anyway and she was frightened he may never be there again.
A lump clogged her throat, tears burned her eyes. She bent her head as she fought hard against the panic trying to swamp her. “Done?” Devon asked quietly.
Julian shrugged. “For now.”
“Is he alive?” Luther inquired.