So why does the idea of taking care of Lucy and our baby for the rest of my life not sound so bad? Why am I tempted to do the right thing and stand by her side no matter what, regardless if she’s pregnant or not. Now that’s crazy to even contemplate, but here I am ready to make the offer.
I probably need someone to talk me down off the ledge. This is the reason I’m spilling my guts to Shep and Tristan. I need reasoning, though really these jackasses are not always the most reasonable people I know. But I need my two best friends to help me figure out what I’m going to do.
They’re all I’ve got. They’re the only ones who understand me.
“So you don’t even know if she’s pregnant yet?” Tristan slumps against his chair, looking relieved. “I thought it was confirmed. You scared the hell out of me.”
“The potential is there, dude. I’m serious. I think she might be.” The idea of bringing a baby into this world scares the hell out of me. Worse? My parents will freak the fuck out. They have my life mapped out for me bit by bit once I graduate college. This will throw the mightiest of all wrenches straight into the middle of their plans.
They will be pissed as hell and there’s nothing I can do about it. Truthfully? The tiniest part of me likes the idea of such utter rebellion. Take that Mom and Dad.
Take fucking that.
“Why do you think she might be pregnant?” Shep asks. That he’s become the voice of reason is crazy considering once he was the wildest one of the three, but he’s really matured since he got together with Jade. I appreciate his insight. Plus he’s just so damn logical, which I need right now.
“It’s hard for me to explain.” There are so many little clues lately telling me that she is.
Her breasts seem fuller, if that’s even possible, and when I was sucking on her nipples last night, they seemed extra sensitive. I went down on her last night too and her pussy…it tasted different. Not in a bad way. Just…different. That I even notice is insane.
I can’t explain that to them. It’s private. Plus, they’d think I was crazy.
“Is she puking her guts out?” Tristan asks.
“No, but she’s been complaining about headaches,” I offer.
“Huh.” Shep reaches inside the pink box for his second doughnut, choosing an apple fritter, his favorite. “What will you do if she’s pregnant?”
“The right thing,” I automatically say.
“And that is…” Shep lets his voice drift, waiting for my answer.
“Help her. Take full responsibility for the baby. Possibly ask Lucy to marry me.” That I say these words so calmly when I feel like a chaotic riot is breaking out inside my body says something.
“What will your parents do?” Tristan asks.
I close my eyes and rest my hands over them for a long, agonizing moment. This is the shit that I’m dreading. I know they will lose their minds and tell me how I’ve destroyed my life. I can hear them say the words in my head and I won’t be able to deny them. “Probably disown me,” I mutter.
“What will Lucy think about that?” Shep asks.
“She probably won’t care. She comes from money too,” I say, dropping my hands from my face. “I have money in the trust fund that I just came into.” From my grandfather, who always seemed to take care of me and love me way better than the people who I have to call my parents. I really miss that old man and he died when I was ten.
“Listen, I think you’re overreacting,” Tristan says, nudging his shoulder against Shep’s as he leans across the table, his gaze intent on mine. “You don’t even know if she’s pregnant and you’re preparing for the worst possible scenario. I think you need to take a chill pill and see what happens.”
He makes it all sound easy, the asshole. Well, it’s not. I wish it was but it’s not at all. “Don’t you get it? I need to prepare for the worst case scenario.”
“What about an abortion?” Tristan suggests.
The thought of doing that to a baby that Lucy and I created… “No. I couldn’t.”
“What if she wants one?”
“It’s her body so she has the right to make that choice but I hope like hell she doesn’t,” I say vehemently.
“So why’d you drag our asses over here anyway? Just to tell us you’re scared shitless your girl is knocked up with your baby?” Tristan asks.
“Yeah, I just…I needed to hear you guys tell me that it’s going to be all right.” Fuck, I’ve been stressed and I have no one else to talk to. Not like I can tell Lucy all this because it might make her mad or worse, hurt her feelings.
And she’s the last person I want to hurt.
“If it were me, I’d be losing my mind,” Tristan says softly. “So we’re here for you.”
That Tristan actually allowed me a glimpse of his feelings is major. The guy is never serious. Grumpy and a pain in the ass, always. Kind and thoughtful Tristan makes rare appearances so I appreciate his words.
“Thanks man,” I tell him.
I don’t even need advice, not necessarily. Just my friends telling me that I’ll survive this. That yes, I’m probably overreacting, and though it pissed me off that Tristan said that, he’s probably right. There’s no proof yet. Lucy could get her period tomorrow and this will all be a funny story we can laugh over years from now.
Remember those couple of weeks when I thought I might’ve gotten a girl pregnant? That was so fucking hilarious!