But I can’t help it. I’m still interested. I tossed and turned last night, unable to fall asleep. He was all I could think about. Gabe and his pretty—and very skilled—mouth. Gabe and his big, wandering hands. Gabe admitting that he wanted to fuck me—I have never had a guy say something like that to me before and I should’ve been offended. That’s offensive, right?
No, it wasn’t. It was hot. Hot as fuck.
See, and he’s making me think differently too. I don’t think things are “hot as fuck.” I just don’t. That’s not my style. I work hard, I study hard, I sleep hard. My life is boring but I have an end goal. Get through college, graduate and get a good job. A well-paying respectable job. Then the rest of my life can start.
I didn’t bargain on taking this summer job. It unexpectedly fell into my lap, the opportunity given to me by one of my mom’s employers. They’d been on a spree selling all of their various homes and needed to travel out of the country to take care of some of the homes they had there. The only one they wanted to keep on the west coast is the very one I’m watching.
So who wouldn’t want to spend most of their summer in an expensive mansion in a gated community in Santa Barbara mere feet away from the beach? They paid me a criminal amount of money too. I couldn’t pass it up. The housesitting job is so easy it’s almost embarrassing. I’m not in summer school for the first time in forever and I can hardly sleep, my brain is too filled with thoughts of the hot man who kissed me senseless. My life has been turned completely upside down.
I don’t like it.
I do like Sydney though. She’s sweet. Certain features on her remind me of her brother. They have the same eye color. The same color hair. Their smiles are similar though when he aims his at me, I want to melt. Sydney doesn’t have that certain melting skill, which is fine. I don’t want her to melt me.
I want him to melt me.
Ack, no I don’t. I’m still mad at him. For falling asleep. I’m probably making a big deal out of this but crap. Who does that?
Vowing I don’t really need lunch, I change into a swimsuit—an old one I brought with me, a nice one piece that covers me up completely—and head out to the pool. I’m totally off schedule in regards to the Gabe watching. I don’t care if he sees me. He can suck it. I’m over him.
I’m also a liar.
The wind is strong today, and with it brings a hint of coolness that makes me shiver. I decide to bake in the sun first and then jump into the pool to cool down. I’d already sprayed every inch of my body that’s not covered with SPF—yeah, I’m Mexican and have naturally dark skin, but I can still burn and skin cancer is not on my agenda. Mama laughs at me, claiming how she used to work in the fields when she was a little girl and she’d turn so brown. How could the sun do me any harm, she says time and again.
No skin cancer for me, thanks. I’m not taking my chances.
I lay out on the lounger for a while, sunglasses firmly in place, eyes closed…most of the time. I keep checking to see if he’s watching despite my anger toward him. But he never makes an appearance and I fight off the disappointment that latches onto me, telling myself I’m being ridiculous.
Shivering when the breeze washes over me, I roll over onto my stomach, propped up on my elbows as I reach over toward the table next to the chair and grab the magazine I brought out with me. A gossip mag that’s delivered to the house, I would never pay so much money for such trashy goodness but it sure is a great way to kill a half hour.
I try to read the articles about the latest celebrity scandals but it’s so hard, what with the way Gabe distracts me. He lingers in my mind and with a sigh I glance up, staring at the ocean in the near distance. White caps top the water, seagulls busy flying in circles and dive bombing for fishy treats. I can’t help but wonder where Gabe’s at. Wonder what he’s doing.
A shiver steals over me as I remember the way he touched me last night, so confident, so possessive. His mouth had been a hot brand on my skin and when he kissed me, teased my lips with his tongue just before sliding it into the interior of my mouth, God.
My body lights up just thinking about it.
I shift around, trying to find a more comfortable position. My fat ass is on blatant display and I can’t find enough energy to care. I ate fruit for breakfast, skipped my usual cup of coffee and drank water instead. Walked my ass down to the beach, hung out with Sydney and then hoofed it back to the house, my thigh and calf muscles straining by the time I practically collapsed in the foyer.
I’m desperate to lose weight before I start up school in August. I hear how it is when you go away for college. I’m not a freshman but I could still pack on the freshman fifteen. And I already have an extra twenty on my frame I’d love to get rid of.
The reverent way Gabe touched me last night hits me full force and I wonder what he thinks about my curves. He seemed to like them. But they make me feel self- conscious most of the time. Really, the only time I felt confident and sexy is when I knew Gabe’s eyes were on me while I pranced around the pool for him.
I just couldn’t hold his interest while he kissed me. Now that’s embarrassing. I know it’s been a while since I spent one on one time with a guy but this is ridiculous.
Tossing the magazine aside, I push myself up and swing my legs over so I’m sitting on the edge of the lounger. I reach behind my head to pile my hair into a bun before I secure it with the band I wore around my wrist, getting it off my hot neck.
“Love it when girls do that.”