Pain flashed in Miss Kendrick’s eyes. “I know it is for the best, but—”
Helena stepped forward to embrace her sister. “I am sorry, Lavinia. I wish there was another way. You have a place with me too, if you would accept it.”
Miss Kendrick kissed her cheek before withdrawing to dash away her tears. “I can’t. I belong here.”
After Helena said her good-byes to Miss Kendrick, Sebastian escorted her to his carriage. They hadn’t made it to the corner before she touched his arm. “Are you angry with me?” Her voice was soft, but the emotion echoed in the small space.
He stroked her cheek and smiled. “For not leaving when I said? No.”
“I meant for lying to you about my past. I should have told you the truth before we reached this point.”
Half her face was in shadow from the carriage lamp, reminding him of the side of her that she kept secret from most. He had known her past held some darkness. He’d seen the haunted reflection of it in her eyes. Now he understood the origin of her mistrust, and he wouldn’t condemn her for trying to protect herself.
“At what point would that be, love?” His hand moved to cradle her nape and his lips grazed hers.
Her eyes drifted shut, her breath growing uneven. “Before we became physically involved.”
Her answer was like a punch in the gut. He hadn’t considered it possible he was the only one falling in love. “Are you implying our connection is only physical? That you care nothing for me?”
“Of course not,” she said on a rush of breath. “I value our friendship very much, which makes it difficult to give you up.”
Sebastian drew back, his hand falling to his lap. “What do you mean by give me up?”
“I—” She swallowed hard. “I won’t be staying in London now that I have found my sisters. I can give Gracie a new beginning in Scotland just like my husband did for me.”
Sebastian’s jaw clenched. “Like Prestwick did for you.” The bloody Scot had been an opportunist who took advantage of a weak man and stole his daughter. “You make it sound as if you were a charity case, Helena. He took you from your family. Do not assign him heroic qualities he doesn’t deserve.”
“I know he wasn’t perfect, but he still saved me. Isn’t that the mark of a hero?”
Her admiration for Prestwick collided with Sebastian’s hatred for the blackguard, and a destructive storm brewed inside him. The carriage interior crackled with tense energy as she held his gaze, presumably awaiting an answer.
“How many times did he remind you that he saved you?” A low growl underscored his words. “Did he lord it over you every time you bucked his authority?”
“No, it wasn’t like that.” She rubbed her forehead, her eyes squeezed tightly together. “I never questioned his authority, and I regret every moment I submitted to his will.”
Sebastian let go of his anger for the man who had hurt her, because feeding the rage would only cause her more pain. Her guilt already weighed on her shoulders, leaving her slumped forward as if closing out everyone. She appeared so downtroddenand alone.
He put his arm around her. Her vulnerability was never so apparent than when she curled her small frame against his, seeking comfort. He exhaled in relief and drew her against his chest. His lips brushed her temple. Her feelings for him were stronger than she was willing or able to admit, so for now, he could love enough for both of them.
But he couldn’t let her go. Not just for his sake, but hers. If she returned to Scotland, Lavinia would not be part of her life. This couldn’t be what Helena truly wanted.
She lifted her face to him and he burrowed his fingers into her silky hair, knocking a pin loose, as his tongue teased her luscious mouth. She opened on a breath and dissolved against him. Her surrender was a sweet victory. She returned his kiss with the same passion she had shown outside the theatre.
He sensed the carriage slowing, then drawing to a stop. His lips traveled to her cheek, her temple, and finally to her gently curved ear. “Invite meinside, Helena.”
She eased from his embrace. The tip of her tongue flicked across her lips. Did she still taste him?