I ignored the guy entirely after that. When I went home, I was unsure of what I’d find. Would he silently stew and ignore me? Would he start an argument? What was I coming home to?
There was unease in my footsteps to the front door. A gut feeling told me to turn around and walk away, maybe go and see Lexi and spend the night at her apartment to blow off some steam. Jaxon had every right to be pissed off, and I didn’t want to be in the midst of it. This was ironic since he was always my target during my rage fits.
When I walked into the apartment, I threw my purse on the kitchen counter and looked around. All the lights were still on, and I could hear the sounds of the bathroom pipes bellowing. Jaxon was in the shower.
I strolled to the living room, taking in the strange look of cleanliness. In fact, now that I’d taken notice, the whole apartment was sparkly clean. No dishes in the sink, no laundry on the floor, no clutter of mess on the lounge coffee table, no food or crumbs on the couch. When had he done this?
In the middle of my contemplation, he walked out of the bedroom in nothing but a towel draped around his hips. I hated that I never stopped to take in his beauty in that very moment. He was hotter than the burning embers of hell, and I hadn’t complimented him in what felt like an eternity. His wet hair, now over an inch passed his chin, was dripping in water, and when he stopped in a strange stiff stance to regard me, it started pooling into a puddle at his feet.
“I’ll clean it up,” he said quietly, noticing my gaze on the puddle. His voice was strangely cool, and his face reserved, hidden in an emotion that I couldn’t put my finger on. The air was heavy with uncertainty. It made my chest constrict. This was the calm before the storm.
“When did you clean up?”
“Been cleaning up for days actually, but you never noticed.” His voice now sounded accusatory. I immediately went into defensive mode.
“What, am I supposed to notice everything you do?” I retorted.
“You seem to notice every single tiny thing I don’t do.”
“What’s your point?”
“You drag me down for my wrong doings, and never praise me for what I do right.”
“What, do you want a cookie, Jaxon?”
“No, Sara, I don’t want a cookie.”
I rolled my eyes at him as I walked past him, but he grabbed my arm gently and turned to me. “Why did you do it?”
“Do what?”
“You know what.” His eyes searched my face, and his pain now had broken through his reserved countenance.
“Why didn’t you stop it?” I bit back, glaring at him.
“Is that what you wanted? You wanted me to react violently? What do you get out of that, Sara?”
“A demonstration that you care.”
“I demonstrate I care about you every damn day.”
I ripped my arm out of his grip. “Well, don’t you worry, nothing happened because I’m not like you. I wouldn’t let a random person kiss me, and whatever the fuck else you did with her.”
“You know I did nothing,” he angrily rebutted.
“Whatever, Jaxon.” I made my way into the bedroom and he followed, stopping at the doorway as I took off my flats.
“Do you enjoy hurting me?” he asked, gripping each side of the door frame so tightly, his knuckles went white.
“Oh, here’s another sob story,” I grumbled.
“You do, don’t you? Why? What have I done?”
“Nothing. You never do anything around here.”
“Nice change in subject, but on that note I have long hours at work, Sara. Then I stay up most of the night waiting for you to come home while I’m shattered.”
I faced him now, clenching my hands in fists, and gritted out, “Well, I work long hours too, Jaxon. No one is forcing you to wait up for me, or to go and stalk me at fucking work. I’m busy all the time now. I’m bettering myself.”
“And I’m not?”
“You’ve never accomplished shit in your life,” I spat out, raking him up and down with disgust. “I’m busting my ass off so I can become a lawyer, so that I can go places in life. And what are you going to end up doing? Look after cars in some dodgy garage your whole life?”
He took a deep breath, and his chest shook, as if breathing was suddenly difficult. “So now it’s a problem with what I do?”
“It’s a problem that you don’t want to do better.”
“Since when is status so important in life? I know I won’t be earning a million dollars a year, but it’ll give me what I need, earn me enough to take care of us–”
“I’ll be earning my own way,” I interrupted him, crossing my arms across my chest. “I won’t need your pennies. I’ll be depending on myself.”
“What is this fucking obsession with depending on yourself all the fucking time?” His voice rose in frustration. “We’re a couple! We’re meant to take care of each other. That’s why I came here. I wanted to do this all for you, told you that there was no pressure, no reason for you to work because I had money–”
“Money you made by being a criminal! That’s ironically all you have ever been good at! Breaking and entering and stealing other people’s hard earned income. How could you think for a second I would be fine with using up that kind of dirty money?”
He closed his eyes momentarily, took a deep breath and opened them again. Calmly, he said, “I understand the apprehension, but I’ve completely stopped doing shit like that in forever. Give me some credit on that at least.”
“That’s what you say! Who the fuck knows what you’re up to? You could be thieving any time you want right now, fucking girls behind my back too. You could up and leave me any day without the decency to tell me!”
“I would never cheat on you!” All patience escaped him now, and he looked wild with anger. At that point, I’d never seen him so dark before except for the time at my house when he’d defended me against my father. “I never have! I’ve never deceived you! I agreed that night in bed after Prom to be yours and only yours! You can blame me for everything else I’ve done wrong by you, but you can never say I cheated!”
“I see you flirting with girls all the time,” I lied, and I really wasn’t sure why I was lying either. Maybe it was to get a reaction out of him, and maybe a side of me wanted to believe he was doing it.