Sunshine was determined not to let her sister pull the two apart. If Beth and Sam eventually drifted away from each other, it would be of their own doing and not forced on them by outside forces.
Thinking about Ellie made Sunshine’s teeth clench, and before she knew it the hand that held the paintbrush tightened. At that point she knew she was finished for the day.
Ever since Beth had questioned her about Peter, Sunshine’s head had been full of long-buried memories, of all the might-have-beens, and the taste of Peter and Ellie’s betrayal. She’d been hurt and angry with him, unwilling to forgive him or her sister when she’d moved to California. Her art had become her solace, her escape, her life. Her work was filled with the hunger and thirst of revenge, wanting to lash out and hurt them both for what they had done.
It was her unwillingness to forgive that had driven Peter away. The funny thing was, although there was little humor in it, she did eventually let go of her anger toward Peter. It was harder with her sister, but over the years she’d come to accept that holding onto her outrage was hurting her far more than it did Ellie. They were both hurting. Her sister was left to deal with her guilt. Ellie had never apologized or made an effort to bridge the gap between them and so she hadn’t, either. It was time to end this. Past time. Only Sunshine didn’t know how to go about it, and so the two remained estranged. Distant and often at odds over Beth. Peter.
Sunshine couldn’t think of him without heartfelt regrets of her own. He’d abandoned what he loved most and given in to his father’s demands. Sunshine’s heart hurt for him, knowing how he would have hated standing in a courtroom, writing briefs and dealing with disgruntled clients. He was meant to work in a studio creating sculptures that would bring light and beauty to the world.
It took the warm winds of California, her own success as an artist, and time for Sunshine to forgive him, but by then it was too late. Peter had married someone else.
As the years passed, she thought about him less often and discovered the grip on the pain he’d caused her had slipped, to be replaced with the memories of the love they’d once shared.
They were both young, ridiculously in love, confident nothing would ever shake the foundation of their commitment to each other … until Ellie.
Sunshine cleaned up her studio and returned home and put together a salad for her dinner later with Beth. Her niece’s curiosity about her long-lost love had awakened memories she had tried to bury. After all this time, she should know holding them back would be impossible. She might as well have tried to dig a grave in swampland, where the body would repeatedly rise to the surface just as her memories did.
The years had given her the grace to pray that Peter had experienced a good life and that his marriage had been a success. She didn’t want him to live with regrets and bitterness. She hoped that over time he’d found contentment and satisfaction as an attorney and that he hadn’t completely abandoned his love of art. He’d been so beautifully talented. It pained her to think that all that ability had lain dormant and wasted.
Several times over the years, she’d been tempted to contact him, especially when visiting family in Chicago. Each time her courage had failed her. As much as she wanted to talk to him, as much as she longed to explain that she was ready to release the hurts of the past, as much as she wanted to say all was forgiven, she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t barge into his life and his family with words that had the potential to start a firestorm for him and his family.
Unable to face Peter, years earlier she’d written him a letter with no return address. At the time it was important she let him know she had absolved him from guilt. She’d needed to tell him she’d found her own happiness and that she would always love him. Thankfully, she’d never mailed it, although she had kept that lengthy missive tucked between the pages of her journal.
Shortly after Beth brought up his name, she’d gone through a chest where she kept her journals, and after sorting through several leather-bound volumes, she found the one with the letter carefully placed between the thick pages. With tears in her eyes she’d reread it, surprised to find there was more to that letter than words. Between the sentences, woven through each thoughtfully written line, what so clearly jumped from the page was love. A love so strong that even now she felt it tightening her chest and filling her eyes with tears.
That letter as well as any other personal contact had the potential to upset the life Peter had made for himself. Sunshine refused to be responsible for bringing discord or regret into his life, and so she’d never mailed it.
Despite her desire to know about him, about his work and art, she’d never sought him out.
Beth arrived for dinner around six and in good spirits. Right away she mentioned a call from her parents.
“Dad called me back.”
“Your dad?” Sunshine asked, immediately wondering if there was something wrong. “Is there a problem at home?”
“No. That was my first thought, too. Dad put Mom on the line and you won’t believe this when I tell you.”
“Then tell me, Sweet Pea.”
“She asked if it would be all right if she and Dad flew out for Thanksgiving.”
“Really? And what did you say?”
She grinned sheepishly. “I told them I’d be happy if they did, with one small stipulation. Which involves you.”
“Me?” Sunshine repeated surprised.
“I said they could come, but only if you hosted the dinner.”
After her initial shock, Sunshine burst out laughing. “You little devil. I imagine that gave your mother pause.”
“I assumed it would, but I was wrong. She said she’d like that.”
Sunshine felt like her legs had gone weak on her. “You’re joking?”
“Not in the least. You don’t mind, do you?” Beth asked.
Without a moment’s hesitation, she agreed. “I wouldn’t mind at all.” It was time Sunshine mended fences with her sister, and it seemed Ellie was maybe as eager to look past the wounds of the past as well.
Sunshine placed the huge bowl of greens in the center of the table. “I wonder if your mother is going to recognize the new you.”
Beth’s beautiful face was transformed by a bright smile.
They ate and chatted and laughed together. Beth was as dear to her as any daughter would have been. She saw in this woman much of herself and all the good parts of her sister. It gave Sunshine pride that she had played an important role in her niece’s life, offering her encouragement and small reprieves of independence and happiness.
After they finished their meal, she stood to do the dishes. Wanting Beth to relax, Sunshine shooed her niece into the living room. “Make yourself comfortable,” she said. “This won’t take any time at all.”
Beth went into the cozy room with its art-filled walls but came back into the kitchen almost immediately.
“Sunshine,” Beth said softly. “What’s this?”
She turned to see what was in her niece’s hand and felt all the color drain out of her face.
Beth held the letter Sunshine had written Peter so long ago. She quickly took hold of it and offered her niece a sad smile. “Nothing important,” she offered lamely, and tucked it away out of sight.
Chapter 28
Beth
Beth had read the first few lines of the letter before she realized what it was and stopped. It was too personal, too private. Yet from those few lines alone she was able to look inside her aunt’s heart. Love and forgiveness throbbed in every word. That was when she realized the decision had been made for her. It didn’t matter if Peter Hamlin was married. Her goal wasn’t to reunite two lovers; it was to help them along the path of recovery from the emotional wounds they each carried.
Monday, during her break for lunch, Beth called the law firm again, hoping to chat with the semi-retired receptionist Sondra Reacher.
“Hamlin, Wilkens and Bower,” the receptionist answered.
“Oh good, it’s you,” Beth blurted out.
“I beg your pardon?”
“It’s Beth Prudhomme,” she said. “Remember? We talked earlier?”
“Are you the girl asking about Mr. Hamlin?”