He paused, realizing he hadn't done any of that. Funny how quickly priorities could change.
"I never meant for things to go this far," he went on, his voice husky. "I never dreamed I'd get caught up in this crazy charade, get tangled up in your life this way. But once I met you..."
He swallowed. He'd never said things like this to a woman before. But then, he'd never felt them, either.
"I don't know, Charity, if you can appreciate how different you are from most women in my life. You came at me like a whirlwind and caught me up in your fun, your excitement. I can't really explain it, but I couldn't let it go. I couldn't risk missing a moment of it."
His voice deep ened with true emotion. All the usual artifices were stripped away, and for once he spoke directly from his heart. "These last few days with you have been some of the best days of my life."
There. He'd said it. And it hadn't really been that dif ficult.
"Charity? Will you answer me?" He reached out to ward where she lay so still on the bed, and his hand found nothing but sheets and blankets. He pulled back, then reached out again.
"Charity?" The lump fell apart. There was no Charity lying on the bed. She'd set up a decoy.
"Charity!" He leaped up from the bed, hands balled into fists, and swung around, peering into the darkness. The drapes billowed through the open doorway to the balcony. Three quick strides got him there.
She was sitting on the balcony, her hands folded in her lap. "Charity, damn it," he began, but he stopped when she turned her sad eyes up to stare at him.
"How does it feel to invest all that emotion on a fake?" she asked quietly. "Now maybe you have some idea of how much this hurts."
He groaned. "Charity, I never meant to hurt you."
"Really Ross? No, I suppose you didn't mean to hurt me. Just trick me. Just manipulate me until I did what you wanted." She twisted to look up into his face.
"And then what, Ross? You planned to get what you wanted and maybe even make me fall for you and then what? Were you really planning to fade away, leaving me with nothing, snickering at how gullible I was?"
That she could think such a thing shocked him. And yet, he had to recognize that he hadn't given her much reason to think otherwise.
"I admit it might have looked that way at first…."
"No, Ross. It looks that way now."
"No! Charity, no." He reached for her but she pulled away, and his first reaction was anger. He stopped himself. He couldn't express that and expect to get anywhere with her. He had to be more careful.