Roman lay in bed thinking, and foremost in his thoughts was Shanna. Last night had been wonderful, but at the same time aggravating. He'd had to expend too much energy blocking out those women downstairs. God's blood, he hated being stuck with them. He didn't even know all their names. He'd never spent any real time with them. During vampire sex, he'd simply imagined making love to a woman's body. It might have felt good to the harem ladies, but the body he imagined might as well have belonged to VANNA. It wasn't real. It wasn't any of them.
It wasn't even Shanna. That, too, had annoyed him. He had imagined Shanna in his mind, but he knew it wasn't really her. He didn't know what she looked like naked, and now his imagination wasn't enough. He wanted the real thing. And he believed she did, too. Last night she had complained about not being able to touch him or hold him.
He had to complete that formula he was working on. If he could stay awake during the day, he could protect Shanna around the clock. He could also be alone with her at a time when other vampires couldn't interfere. And if he could convince Shanna to live with him, then his ability to be awake during the day would allow her to maintain a more normal lifestyle.
He jumped out of bed and took a hot shower. He wanted to see her tonight, but he also needed to go to Romatech. The rest of the week would be filled with the conference. He, Angus, and Jean-Luc needed a plan of action for dealing with the Malcontents, particularly now that they knew Petrovsky was their leader. And getting rid of Petrovsky would not only make the world safer for law-abiding, modern Vamps, but safer for Shanna.
Roman smiled to himself. Even with a vampire war imminent, he couldn't keep his mind off her. She was so different. So raw and honest with her emotions. While in her mind, he'd tried to detect her feelings for him. She was adjusting fairly well to the reality of his being a vampire, mostly because she had such a kind, compassionate heart. When he called her sweetness, he meant it. She had a true, sweet nature that he loved.
He chuckled as he toweled himself dry. She could also be fearless and feisty when upset. He loved that about her, too. He hoped with all his heart that she could fall in love with him. That would be perfect, since he was already in love with her.
He'd realized it the moment he saw her at the ball, hot pink in a sea of black and white. She was life, she was color, she was his true love. Somehow, he sensed that if she could love him and accept him, even with his soul blackened with sin, then all was not lost. If there was something remotely lovable about him, he could hope for forgiveness. He'd wanted to tell her last night that he loved her, but had refrained. He needed to be with her in person to make such a confession.
He leaned over to tug on some boxer shorts. Black dots circled his head. Damn, he was hungry. He should have eaten before showering, but thoughts about Shanna had distracted him. Wearing only his underwear, he padded into his office and retrieved a bottle of blood from the mini-fridge. God's blood, he was starving so much, he was ready to drink it cold.
He heard the office door shut and glanced back. Shanna. Smiling, he unscrewed the top from his bottle. "Good evening."
No answer.
He glanced back again. She was stalking toward him, her cheeks glistening with tears, her eyes swollen, red, and.. furious. "What's wrong, darling?"
"Everything!" She was breathing heavily, and rage was practically seething from her pores. "I'm not putting up with this anymore."
"Okay." He put the bottle down. "It appears I did something wrong, though I'm not sure what."
"Everything is wrong! It's wrong for you to have a harem. It's sick that you left me in bed on hold while you talked to them. And it's really disgusting that they wanted to join us in some kind of mental orgy!"
He winced. "I wouldn't have allowed that. What we had together was totally private."
"It was not! They knew we were making love. And they kept banging on the door wanting in."
He groaned inwardly. Those damned women. "I gather you've been talking to the other women again."
"Your other women. Your harem." Her eyes narrowed with seething anger. "Do you know they invited me to join them?"
God's blood.
"And do you know why? They want me in the harem so they can join us next time in bed! Like one giant psychic love fest. Ooh, talk about your multiple orgasms. I can't wait!"
"You're being sarcastic, right?"
"Aaargh!" She raised clenched fists in the air.
He gritted his teeth. "Look, Shanna, I expended a huge amount of energy to keep what happened between us private." And all that spent energy had left him starving.
"It wasn't private! Even the Highlanders knew what we were doing. You knew that everyone knew, but you still made love to me."
He stepped toward her, his anger spiking. "No one heard what happened between us. It was private. Only I heard you moan and cry out. Only I felt your body shuddering when¡ª"
"Stop it. I shouldn't have done it. Not when you have a harem wanting to join us."
Roman balled his fists, fighting for control, but it was damned hard when he was starving. "There is nothing I can do about them. They wouldn't know how to survive on their own."
"You're kidding me! How many centuries old do they need to be before they can grow up?"
"They were raised in times when women weren't taught any job skills. They're helpless, and I'm responsible for them."
"Do you really want them?"
"No! I inherited them when I became coven master in 1950.I can't even remember all their names. I've spent all my time building Romatech and working in my lab."
"Well, if you don't want them, pass them on to someone else. There must be plenty of lonely vampire men around just dying for a good, dead woman to keep them company."
Roman's anger started to sizzle again. "I happen to be one of those dead people, too."
She crossed her arms over her chest. "You and I are.. different. I don't think this is going to work out."
"I thought we did very well last night." God's blood, she wasn't going to leave him. He wouldn't let her. And they were alike. She understood him like no one else.
"I can't¡ªI won't make love to you again when there's a bunch of women trying to join us. I won't stand for it."
Anger sliced into him fresh and raw. "You can't convince me you didn't enjoy it. I know you did. I was in your head."
"That was last night. Now all I can feel is embarrassment."
Roman swallowed hard. "Are you ashamed of what you did? Are you ashamed of me?"
"No! I'm angry that those women have a claim to you, that they think they have every right to join us in the bedroom."
"I won't let them! They don't matter, Shanna. I'll block them out."
"You shouldn't have to block them out, because they shouldn't be here at all! Don't you get it? I refuse to share you with them. They have to go!"
Roman's breath caught in his throat. God's blood, that was the real problem. Not that she was ashamed or didn't care. She did care. She did want him. She wanted him all to herself.
She stepped back, her eyes wide. "I.. I shouldn't have said that."
"But it's true."
"No." She backed toward his desk. "I.. I don't have any claim to you. And I shouldn't expect you to totally change your lifestyle for me. I mean, this relationship probably can't work anyway."
"Yes, it can." He strode toward her. "You want me. You want all my love, all my passion just for you."
She retreated another step and bumped into the velvet chaise. "I should be going."
"You don't want to share me, do you, Shanna? You want me all to yourself."
Her eyes flashed. "Well, I don't always get what I want, do I?"
He grabbed her by the shoulders. "This time, you will."
He lifted her and set her bottom on the high curved end of the red velvet chaise.
"What¡ª?"
He gave her a little push, and she fell back.
"What are you doing?" She struggled to sit up and managed to prop herself on her elbows. Her hips were still elevated on the higher end of the chaise.
He pulled off her white Nikes and dropped them on the floor. "Just you and me, Shanna. No one will know what we're doing."
"But¡ª"
"Complete privacy." He unzipped her pants and dragged them down her legs. "Just like you wanted."
"Wait a minute! This is different. This is.. real."
"You're damned right it is. And I'm ready for it." He noted her red lace panties. God's blood. Real sex.
"We have to think about this."
"Think fast." He took a hold of the red lace. '"Cause these are coming off."
She looked at him, her eyes wide, her chest heaving with quick breaths. "You¡ªyour eyes are red. They're glowing."
"It means I'm ready to make love."
She gulped. Her gaze drifted down to his bare chest. "It would be an important step forward."
"I know." He rubbed the pad of his thumb over the lace. Actual, physical sex with a mortal. "If you tell me to stop, I will. I've never wanted to hurt you, Shanna."
She collapsed back. "Oh God." She covered her face.
"Well? Shall we make it real?"
She lowered her hands and looked him in the face. A light shiver ran down her body. She whispered, "Lock the door."
A storm of strong emotions surged through Roman¡ª excitement, desire, and most of all, relief. She hadn't given up on him. In a swoosh, he zoomed to the door, locked it, and returned to her.
As he came to a standstill, black dots circled his head. Using vampire speed had drained too much of his energy, and he needed what little energy he had left for Shanna. He lifted a foot and peeled off her sock. One foot at a time now. This was real, so he was confined to only two hands. No mind tricks.
Her feet were a little different from what he had imagined. Longer and slimmer. Her second toe was as long as her big toe. These little details hadn't entered his imagination last night, but now, now they seemed paramount. This was the real Shanna, not an erotic dream. And no dream could ever compare to her in real life.
He clasped an ankle and lifted her leg. It was long and beautifully shaped. He ran an appreciative hand over her calf. Her skin was as soft as he had imagined, but once again, there were details he hadn't expected. A few freckles above her knee, and on the inside of her thigh, a small, flat mole.
It drew him like a magnet. He pressed his lips against it. The warmth of Shanna's skin surprised him. This was new. Different. Vampires didn't generate much heat, so during all his years of vampire sex, he had never imagined body heat. Or smell. Her skin smelled of clean, fresh woman and.. life. Life-giving blood. A large vein throbbed just under her skin. Type A Positive. He rubbed his nose against her inner thigh, enjoying the rich, metallic scent.
Stop! He turned his head to rest his cheek against her thigh. He had to stop before instinct took over and his fangs sprang out. In fact, just to be safe, he should drink a quick bottle of blood before continuing.
But then his nostrils flared with another scent. Not blood, but equally intoxicating. It was coming from beneath her panties. Arousal. God's blood, it was sweet. He could have never imagined such a potent fragrance. His groin swelled, straining against his cotton boxers. Her scent lured him in until his nose was pressed against the lace.
Shanna gasped. Her body shuddered.
Roman straightened, standing between her legs. He grasped the top edge of her underwear and drew the fabric down a few inches. His knuckles were nestled in a mass of curly hair.
He stared. God's blood, he should have known. After all, she came in color. His gaze met hers. "You're a redhead?"
"I.. guess." She licked her lips. "Some call it strawberry blond."
"Reddish gold." He rubbed his knuckles against the springy hair. The texture was different¡ªcoarse, curly, exciting. He smiled at her. "I should have realized. You have the temper of a redhead."
She gave him a wry look. "I had every right to be furious."
He shrugged. "Vampire sex is overrated. This.." He glanced down at his fingers entwined in her curls. "This is much better." He slipped a finger into the moist cleft.
With a gasp, she started. "Oh God, what you do to me." She pressed a hand to her chest as if to ease her breathing. "You don't.. make me react like this, do you? I mean, last night, when you were in my head.."
"I planted the sensations in your mind. Your reactions were your own." He burrowed his finger deeper into the wet heat until he was rubbing against the slick nubbin.
She let out a long moan.
"Your reactions are so beautiful." His finger was drenched. The scent wafted up to him, heady and rich. His groin hardened, urging him to get on with it. He eased her underwear over her hips and down her legs, then dropped it on the floor.
She welcomed him between her legs, spreading them for him, then wrapping them around his waist. His erection was damned uncomfortable, but before he did anything, he wanted to see her. He bent over and brushed back the damp curls. There, there was the sweet flesh, swollen and glistening with the dew of her own desire. Desire for him. It was almost too much to bear. He clamped down on his own raging need. Not yet.
He wanted to taste her first.
He slipped his hands under her rump and lifted her to his mouth. She cried out. Her legs wrapped tighter about him, then trembled with each slow lick. He began a tender exploration, but soon, Shanna's little cries incited him to push it harder and faster. She dug her heels into him and writhed against him. He held on to her hips and applied vampire speed to his tongue.
With a jolt, she screamed. A gush of her sweet fragrance covered his face. She was quivering in her release, panting for breath. Her swollen sex was pressed against him. Engorged, red, and pulsating with blood. He turned his head, trying to escape the inevitable reaction. But her thigh squeezed against his nose, the blood in her vein throbbing against his skin.
The instinct to survive roared through him. His fangs sprang forth, and he sank them into the rich vein of her inner thigh. Her blood filled his mouth. Her scream filled his ears, but he couldn't stop. The hunger-lust was upon him, and he couldn't remember ever tasting such rich, delicious blood. She yelled and struggled to pull away. He clasped her leg to his mouth and drew a long, succulent gulp.
"Roman, stop!" She kicked him with her free leg.
He froze. God's blood. What had he done? He had sworn never to bite a mortal again. He ripped his fangs out. Blood dripped from the punctures on her leg.
She squirmed on the chaise to put distance between them. "Get away from me!"
"Sha¡ª" He realized his fangs were still extended. With the last, dying remnants of his strength, he forced his fangs to recede. They didn't want to. He was so hungry. So damned weak. He needed to get to the counter where he'd left a bottle of blood.
Something trickled down his chin. Her blood. Goddammit, no wonder she was watching him with such a stricken look of horror. He must look like a monster.
He was a monster. And he'd bitten the woman he loved.