She turned to face him. “Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, not that one. It’s not good.”
He laughed. “Fine, then. You suggest one.”
She sighed. Watching herself on film was not one of her favorite things. “Okay. See if you can find In Six Days. It’s a suspenseful, action-type movie.”
He used his remote to do the search. “There it is.”
He brought the movie up and it started. Des cringed when she saw herself on the screen.
“How long ago was this one made?” he asked.
“Maybe three years ago?”
“I can tell. You’re younger.”
She laughed. “Oh, so now I’m old?”
He kissed her nose. “Hardly. You’re still a baby. But you just look a lot younger in this one.”
“I was supposed to look younger. My character is nineteen.”
They’d made popcorn, so they sat silently and Des ate while they watched. Okay, so she mainly snuck glances over at Logan since she knew what the movie was about, and she really didn’t like watching herself all that much. Though she tried to see herself with a more critical eye now that she was forced to sit through the movie.
Not too bad, actually. A little more raw back then than she was now. She could see how her technique had improved. She grew more comfortable in front of the camera with each movie she did. This movie was about a young girl whose family is kidnapped and held for ransom, and she hooks up with a badass bounty hunter who’s after the guys who are holding her family. He wants to storm in and grab the bounty, regardless of the outcome for the hostages, but she convinces him to help her save her family. It was a pretty kickass role for her in terms of physicality and weaponry. She had had a lot of fun during filming, and Bruce Leyton, the actor playing the bounty hunter, was a Hollywood legend who’d taken her under his wing and taught her a lot about filmmaking—and longevity in the business.
“You’re good in this, Des,” Logan said after the movie ended.
She had been laying her head on his shoulder, surprisingly engrossed in the movie. She sat up and looked at him. “You think so?”
“Yeah. I enjoyed the movie. I hadn’t seen this one before. And I’m a big fan of Bruce Leyton’s. But I found myself watching you. You held your own alongside him. And you were a big badass in this movie.”
She laughed. “You can thank the stunt coordinator—and Bruce—for that. They were both very helpful in that regard.”
“They taught you well, then.” He studied her for a few seconds. “And I was wrong about your weapons skills. You’re much better than I initially thought.”
“Thanks. So does that mean I’m not going to need rifle training?”
“Apparently not.”
“I’m sure the weapons master on this film will be relieved. And me, too, since I did a lot of training for this movie. Besides, the film is almost over, so I think we’re done shooting things, anyway.”
“You really love this moviemaking thing.”
She shrugged and picked at a hangnail. “Sometimes.”
“But not always?”
She stared at the paused screen. “Back when I made that movie? I loved it. I loved everything about it, from the grueling fight scenes to the time off-camera spent with Bruce and his wife and their two little boys to the stunt coordinator and the director.”
“Not every job is going to be like that, though. Not every day in any job is going to be magic.”
“That’s true. And like you said, maybe I just need a vacation.”
He pulled her legs onto his lap. “Maybe you do. Just a break to clear your head. It seems to me your adoring public won’t forget you.”
She sighed, that familiar tightening in her stomach ever present when she thought about not being in the public eye, not making multiple movies a year. “There’s so much competition out there. I don’t know what would happen if I wasn’t working all the time. I only have a finite amount of time in this business, and then it’s over.”
He laughed. “I don’t know about that. There are a lot of working actresses out there way older than you. And a lot of them win those fancy awards, don’t they?”
“I guess you’re right. But this business will make a person paranoid. So will the people we work with, like our agents and publicists and casting agents and all the media who will wonder if I’m a washout if I don’t sign on for the next big movie, you know?”
“What does your heart tell you? If you’re not happy, then maybe there’s something else you want to be doing.”
“Honestly, Logan? I haven’t taken a breath long enough to even listen to my heart. So I don’t have any idea what I really want to do.”
He rubbed her legs. “Maybe that’s your answer.”
“Maybe it is.”
He slid her legs off his lap and stood, then held out his hand. “Come on. Let’s go to bed.”
She walked upstairs with him and took off her clothes. He gave her an unopened toothbrush for her to brush her teeth, then she climbed into bed next to him, and Logan turned off the light.
“Thanks,” he said as he pulled her against his chest.
“For what?”
“For letting me watch one of your movies.”
“Oh. You’re welcome. It wasn’t as painful as I thought it was going to be.”
She felt the deep rumble of his laugh.
“Logan?”
“Yeah.”
“Thank you.”
“For?”
“For listening to me.”
“Always. I don’t know that I solved any of your problems, Des, but I’m always willing to listen.”
Her heart squeezed. She tried not to open her heart any more to him than it already was, but she couldn’t help it.
She was in love with him, and she was never one to deny the truth. There it was, and she was just going to have to deal with it.
Chapter 20
DES STOOD IN Colt’s trailer with him.
“Are you sure you want me here with you?” she asked, sitting next to him on his sofa. “Are you sure they’re going to want me here?”
“They’re not going to want you here. But I do.”
“Okay. But if at any time you want me to leave, just tell me and I’m gone.”