“Want to go out?” She didn’t respond immediately and I contemplated hanging up.
“Yes!” She practically shouted and I realized that taking her out for something other than a public fuck was leading her on even more. I didn’t care.
“Great. Be here in a few hours. Movie starts at eight.”
“Want me to come by early? Maybe have a little fun first?” She asked. I thought about it. I had no reason not to continue to sleep with Angela, especially since I was planning to make Emma never want to look my way again.
“I can’t. I have some things to take care of first.” I lied. I ended the call and poured myself another drink. ‘My dreams aren’t as empty as my conscience seems to be’. The lyric played over and over in my head, taunting me. I needed to remind myself why I didn’t want to fall for Emma. Aside from protecting her from me, I needed to protect myself. I made my way into my room and pulled open my dresser drawer. Tucked away between the clothes was a picture of my ex-wife, Abby. She once was the most beautiful woman in the world to me, but now all I felt was hatred when I looked at her. She had chosen money over me, over our family. My eyes began to blur at the sudden memories that flooded my head. Never again. I slid the picture back into the drawer and got ready for the night.
After a quick shower, I drank a few more shots. I took the elevator up to the next floor to remind myself of who I was. The room was dark and uninviting, a playground for a dom. Perhaps I would bring Angela up here. Who knows, maybe she wouldn’t be that opposed to it and if she was, who cares? She was a dime a dozen.
I heard the doorbell echo throughout the building. I made my way back to my main floor and answered the door. Angela was beaming. I grabbed my wallet and ushered her outside before she could try to squeeze in a quickie.
“What are we going to see?” She asked as she placed her hand on my thigh. I glanced down at her hand and over to her. She drew back her arm quickly. I needed to calm down. Why was I wound so tight? Maybe a quickie wouldn’t have been such a bad idea.
“Slash” I said, avoiding her gaze.
“Well, you may have to hold me tight if I get scared.” I could hear the hopefulness in her voice. Maybe this was a bad idea.
We pulled into the theater a good ten minutes before the previews. I paid for our tickets and we made our way inside. The theater was still empty so I chose a spot in the back row so I could watch as everyone filed in. Just before the lights dimmed, I spotted Emma. She was wearing a tight black dress and fuck me heels. Her hair was curled and all I could think about was wrapping my fingers in it. The lights dimmed and the previews began to play. Angela snuggled in closer to me and I didn’t pull away. It was nice to have the contact, even if I wished it was with someone else.
The movie wasn’t as terrible as I had thought it would be. After a while, I was sucked in to the plot, anxious to see what would happen next. I noticed some commotion up front as Emma stood and tried to make her way through the crowd. It was now or never. I grabbed Angela and slipped out of the back exit into the hall. I pulled her up against the wall and began kissing her. She didn’t protest. I teased my way down her neck as she smacked me playfully on the chest. As my lips met hers, I opened my eyes to glance past her and my gaze immediately fell on Emma. She bit her lip and for a moment, I wished I wouldn’t have come. I wanted so badly for my lips to be on hers. She looked hurt and I knew without a doubt that she had felt what I had. She disappeared into the restroom and I used the time to get myself out of there. She had seen enough to know I wasn’t worth her time.
Chapter Five
I took Angela back to my place and told her I had a migraine. She offered to stay and take care of me but I assured her I would sleep it off. After she had left, I checked the time. The movie would just be ending now. I poured a drink. I couldn’t get her off my mind. I was starting to scare myself. She reminded me of who I used to be. Back before Abby had destroyed everything that I was. Abby was my math teacher in high school. She was the picture of perfection. She made me care about myself, my future. I fell for her quickly. I knew how easy it was for someone vulnerable to fall for someone in a position of power over them. I needed to be careful not to do that to Emma. Look what it got me. I lost the one person I had loved to greed. My father paid her to break my heart and she took the bait. The saddest thing was our unborn child who was lost in the process. I poured another drink and slammed it back.
I was too damaged to ever be anything to anybody else. I barely knew Emma but she had awakened feelings in me I hadn’t known I was still capable of having. I couldn’t ever be that person again. I wanted to be that person again. I grabbed my phone and scrolled through the contacts. I hit the call button and waited for an answer.
“William, what are you doing? You can’t call me this late.” Angela’s hushed panicked tone brought me back to reality. She wasn’t concerned about how I was feeling. She didn’t get butterflies at the sound of my voice. I was nothing to her. The feeling was mutual. I hung up the phone and tossed it on the couch. I needed to get out of this fucking place.
I grabbed my keys and some cash and made my way downstairs to my car. I needed to regain control of myself. I needed to be reminded of what I was. I drove across town to the edge of the city. In a seedy strip mall that had long been forgotten to most, a few cars dotted the parking lot. I whipped behind the building and parked my car. As I walked across the dark lot, I hit the lock on my car and walked inside. The main lobby was dimly lit and three woman sat on their heels, heads bowed in a row by the front desk.
“Mr. Honor. What a pleasure to see you, Sir.” The husky redhead behind the desk greeted me. I nodded politely as my eyes danced over the kneeling women.
“The usual Sir?” She asked and my eyes shot up to meet hers. I nodded and made my way back the dimly lit corridor. I was in my element. I felt whole again inside these walls. I stopped in front of door three. A bulb glowed red just above the frame. I took a deep breath and stepped inside. I quickly unbuttoned my shirt and slid it off, draping it over a bench it the corner, followed by my under shirt. I slipped off my shoes and socks and slid them under the bench as well. I was ready. The door opened a few minutes later and a small framed brunette slipped inside. I immediately dropped to my knees; resting on my heels.
“Good boy.” She praised me. I took a deep breath and relaxed. My life thrived on having control and when I felt lost I handed that control over to someone else. It was therapeutic.
She walked around me, her finger running along my shoulders. She traced the lines of the tribal tattoo that wound its way down my arm. “You know what makes a good master, William?” She asked as she made her way to the front of me. I didn’t answer, didn’t look up at her. “You may respond.” I took a deep breath and thought about her question.
“I don’t think I know anymore.” I replied honestly. She bent over and grabbed my chin in her hand, jerking it up towards her.
“Respect” She said simply and let go of my face. She walked over to the shackles that hung from the corner of the room. “Come” She said. I rose to my feet and stared at the floor as I made my way to her. She grabbed my left arm and locked it into place above my head. “You respect me as your Mistress and give me control over you.” She grabbed my other arm and raised it above my head. “I respect you and would never do anything to you that you don’t want.” She continued as she clicked the cuff into place. “Not everyone will understand this lifestyle, William and not everyone is cut out for it.” She explained as she undid the buckle of my belt and slowly pulled it towards her. She leaned in closer so I could feel her breath on my ear. “You are.”
For the next hour, she taunted and teased me until I remembered what it was like to have full control even when I was powerless at the hands of another. Our sessions never went any further than that. She would push me to the brink of pleasure without ever letting me fall over the edge. I felt renewed and as if I had a better grasp on whom I was again. Seeing things from a sub’s perspective made me a better dom.
Chapter Six
I awoke as a new man. I got up and made my way to the gym on 32nd Street to start my morning. I had made my mind up that this evening, after work, I would start taking applications for a new official sub. I had tried my hand in the dating world but it was more of a hassle than anything else. I was still holding a lot of resentment towards Abby and just didn’t have the right mentality for anything other than a dom/sub relationship. Emma had officially been removed from my every waking thought. So had Angela for that matter. At least, that is the lie I told myself.
I ran through the showers in the locker room and headed over the bistro on the corner for some breakfast. I placed my order with the petite blonde waitress. There was nothing extraordinary about her. She was attractive, yes, but looked exhausted. Still, something about her caught my eye. As she tipped her head to fill my mug with coffee, I realized who she was. She was much different not kneeling naked in the middle of a lobby, but I was certain it was her. When she glanced back at me her cheeks where pink and I knew that she had recognized me as well.
“Thank you.” I said as she finished.
“You are welcome, Sir.” She replied with a wicked grin and turned to make her way behind the counter. Maybe I wouldn’t have to go through an application process after all.
Chapter Seven
I made my way to work early. I needed to see Emma and reassure myself that I felt nothing for her. She triggered something inside me that I still hadn’t worked through with Abby. That was it. That is what I told myself all morning. I also wanted to gauge her reaction towards me after the scene at the movies. I wanted to know that she didn’t care.
Angela was trying her hardest to corner me so we could talk. There was nothing to talk about. I couldn’t give her what she needed and she couldn’t give me what I needed. I wasn’t even sure myself what that was.
When it was finally time for Emma’s class, I sat at my desk, twirling my ruler out of habit. I watched the class slowly fill and there was no sign of her. For a moment, I had thought she was running late so I could keep her after class. I quickly pushed that thought aside. I eventually had to start the lesson. My stomach was twisting in knots. I just wanted to know she was okay. I decided I was going to skip out of the last few classes of the day. I needed more time. My head still wasn’t right and Emma, present or not, was fucking me up beyond repair.
As I stepped inside the office my eyes first locked on to Angela’s who was blushing and twirling her hair as she saw me. I smiled at her politely, all too aware of the smell of flowers that consumed the air around us. Emma. There was no escaping her. I made small talk with Angela and quickly turned to leave the office.
“You missed my class. Come see me after you are finished,” I said, locking eyes with Emma. My gaze dropped to the pink bandage around her arm. I knew if she came to my class that she understood what was going to happen. Part of me hoped she hated me and didn’t show. Just then, a light knock rattled through the door.
“Come in.” I called. Emma opened the door and walked inside. I began removing my button up shirt, leaving on my black undershirt. I folded it and laid it over the back of my chair. “What happened?” I asked, glancing down at her bandaged hand.
“I had an accident.” She replied nervously, biting her lip. If she didn’t want this she would have ran by now. She was screaming for discipline, for someone to take control in her life.
“I saw you at the theater yesterday. That was…,” I said as my eyes danced up and down her body.
“Awkward” She replied, finishing my sentence. I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Unexpected” I corrected her. Another lie. “Ms. Townsend, do you remember what I said about being late to my class?” I asked, sitting down on the edge of my desk and waited for her response. After a moment, I gestured for her to come closer. She sat her books on a desk in the front row.