But the third confession: I know who our dad is. That’s something I’m more pissed about than thinking you’re married, wealthy, and have kids.
I’m about to die, any day now, and my dad walks through the door. How unfair is that?! I’m pissed! I’m beyond pissed, and I’m even madder that I can’t tell anyone. No one will understand, and if I do say something, they’ll just pat me on the head because I’m dying and, of course, I’m delusional!
‘Butterflies are beautiful. Yes, Erica, they sure are.’
‘I’m going to buy a camel. Of course, I am.’
It’s funny, but I hate it right now. I met my father, and no one believes me. They wouldn’t believe me, and even Jake—it makes me so sick because he’d think about you first. He wouldn’t ever admit it, but I know that in some part of his brain he’d be thinking how sad it was that you left before you could meet your father.
I hate that!
I hate you sometimes!
Julia’s freaking out. She’s got no one to put lotion on or to pat their heads and swat away the flies. I love Julia. I really do, but some days it’s just so tiring. I want to rattle her cage and make her see life. I’m dying, and I have a sister who’s living through me! What am I supposed to do? I’m not supposed to be the one saving her life. That’s not fair, and it’s not right, but I guess it makes sense, huh? I’m dying so I can see all clear-headed and such.
Julia’s got her head in the clouds, but you should be here, too. This is your job. You’re my sister, our sister, and it’s pretty damn cowardly that you ran away. Cowardly and selfish, because even though our family isn’t the Cleavers, we’re still family. I should be here, too, and you should help with Julia. She’s going to need so much help when I’m gone. I’m going to be gone. I’m not going to be hurting. I’ll be fricking happy as hell (I’m so going to heaven!), but it’ll be Jake and Julia who are going to be empty.
I need you to help. Be there for them. Be the best friend for Jake he needs and, as much as it pains my jealous side to say, he has been missing you so much. I almost think he’d rather still be loving someone who didn’t need him rather than go without his best friend. And Julia…God…I know her idiosyncrasies can make a person mental, but man!—she’s our sister. She’s going to get a wake-up call when I die.
Be a sister. Be my sister!
I’m not sorry that I fell in love with Jake. I love him, and I’m never going to apologize for that, but I am so mad that you can be so petty about that. I lost you! I know that we weren’t close, that…I’m learning more and more from Jake that you were struggling on your own, but I lost my sister when you left.
Jake tells me about you on a weekly basis. Not every day, but maybe once or twice a week, and it sounds like you and I have a lot in common. We both put on a show for the world to see. I plastered on the happy and charming face, while you were just contemptuous and didn’t need us. That’s what I thought for so long—that you just didn’t need anyone because you were so above us.
Jake said that I was wrong and couldn’t be further from the truth.
I’m sorry, Dani. I wish I would’ve known the real you in living, but I have the afterlife to appease me. I’ll be watching you, every chance I get, and I’m going to haunt your ass so much! If there’s a simple breeze that gets you—it’s me! I swear it!
I love you, living and in death. I’m always going to love you! Be there for Jake and Julia. They need you. And every time a bird flies by your head, think of me because I probably made it do that, especially if they take a dump on you. That really was me then. (Insert evil laugh with a smile and wink from me.)
Sincerely, in death and still alive for the moment—Erica
P.S. Tell that guy who bought that camel that I’m really sorry. I totally made that up. I didn’t mean for him to be spit on, at all.
(I guess camels aren’t that nice.)
I survived the flood that demolished Craigstown. Both Julia and I survived it. Jonah found all of us. It was an awakening experience to see the bubbles break the surface as the first diver pulled himself upright onto our bank.
I knew it was Jonah before he even showed his face. And it wasn’t that I recognized his body or how he moved—I just knew it was him. The first bubble bore his name, and I blinked back tears of gratefulness.
They weren’t tears that I was happy to be alive. They were just happy tears, just because.
You see—this story wasn’t about falling in love or reuniting with my estranged sister. It wasn’t even about me realizing that I’d been cheated by myself and others from Erica.
This story was about me. I came home, haunted, and I fought through the second storm. I needed to fight. And Jonah had been the first to spark that fight inside of me. I was grateful for that, more than I could ever put into words.
Trenton and Jake waited. Julia wept that she was alive as Jonah peeled off the facemask, but his eyes found me first.
He ignored my hysterical sister, as I stood calm. My petty side loved that.
Jonah caught me in his arms and wouldn’t let go for more than two minutes.
Julia grew silent, a bit miffed—if you asked me, but how do you gripe to a pair of lip-locked lovers?
Her brush with death had given her some maturity, but I knew then, Julia would always want the attention. That would never leave her because that was just my sister.