I chucked my pipe at the zombie, throwing it like a spear. Had it been human or even a newer zombie, the pipe would’ve cracked the skull and ricocheted off. But because this one was so old, and its bones and muscles had started to gelatinize, the pipe tore through its head. Brain matter, blood, and bits of gooey skull splattered all over Lazlo, who covered his head and cringed.
“Move, you idiot!” I shouted. The one-legged zombie was hopping over to finish the job.
“The gun-” He held out to me, all slick with zombie viscera now.
“If it doesn’t shoot, then hit them with it!”
To demonstrate, and to save our lives, I took it from him and swung at the zombie coming towards us. This one was a lot younger, and it clearly looked like a man. A man who had very recently had his leg torn off from the knee down. So when the butt of the gun came in contact with his head, it did little more than stun him.
I slammed the butt of the gun in his chest, and he lost his balance and fell back onto the ground. He reached out with his yellowed talon-like fingers, but I narrowly dodged them.
When he was on the ground, I flipped the gun, and using the barrel, I drove it into his eye socket. The instant the gun smashed into his brain, the zombie stopped reaching for me. He twitched, then stopped moving completely.
“Thanks,” Lazlo breathed.
“You have to learn how to fight better.”
“Hey, we did pretty good!” He gestured to the seven or eight zombies that he and Blue had managed to shoot. “The gun just jammed or something.”
“If the gun jams, you find another way to kill them.”
I couldn’t see any other zombies around, but I heard a faint death groan. Harlow and Blue had disappeared into the fog. The gun was a complete mess, with brains and goo clogging up the barrel, and it might’ve jammed before that. I left it behind and started hurrying ahead.
“Remy! Lazlo!” Harlow yelled from somewhere ahead of me. “We’re at the car!”
“We’ll find you, but keep quiet!” I shouted back. I didn’t want zombies attracted to the noise she made.
Lazlo and I darted through the trees, narrowly missing several low hanging branches. I heard a tremendous roaring sound, and when I looked back, I saw it.
The zombie wasn’t moving fast yet, but when she cocked her head at me, there was something calculating in her eyes. She was newly turned, so she was strong and fast, and it looked like she still had some brains.
A broken tree stump jutted out across from us, and that was the only weapon I could see. She ran at us, with Lazlo standing in between me and her, so I pushed him out of the way.
I jumped up, barely making it high enough to grab onto the branch above me. The fog had left it slick, and my fingers threatened to slip off as the bark burned and scraped against my skin.
I swung back, then forward, meaning to kick her, but I timed it wrong. She snarled and bit at my foot, and I managed to connect with her head, kicking her solidly in the nose. It started bleeding, and the blood still looked normal.
Thanks to her push, I swung back hard this time. The momentum of the back swing sent me flying forward, my feet pushing heavily into her chest. She flew backwards, landing on the jutting wood from the broken tree.
My hands couldn’t take it anymore, and I fell to the ground. The tree had only gone through her stomach, so she wasn’t dead. She couldn’t figure out how to push herself off the tree, but she might eventually, so we had to hurry.
“That was awesome!” Lazlo said, sounding way too impressed as he scrambled to his feet.
“That was stupid.” I shook my head, walking quickly. “I almost got my foot bit off. I didn’t have a chance to time that right, and I’m in the woods without a weapon. I’m practically suicidal.”
“No way, you’re-”
Lazlo’s undue praise was cut off by a pretty horrific sight. The fat zombie that I had eviscerated earlier lurched around a tree towards us. I could actually see a gravel driveway, presumably leading up to the carriage house, but this half-dead zombie stood in our way. His engorged, green intestines hung out, dragging on the ground around him.
“What’s your plan?” Lazlo asked as the zombie stumbled towards us.
“I don’t really have one.” My only recourses were running away or hand to hand combat, and I did not want to hit him. My fist would pop his skin like a water balloon.
“Go.” Lazlo took a step forward, so he was standing next to me instead of behind. “Go to the car. I’ll hold him off.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“No. You saved my life.” Lazlo looked at me earnestly, as the behemoth lumbered on. A long string of his intestines caught on a branch on the ground, momentarily slowing him. “I’m not gonna let you die.”
“Dying to save me defeats the purpose of me saving you.”
Before I could think of something, I heard a roar behind us. I turned around, expecting some horrifically fast zombie, but what I saw made my heart soar.
Ripley came tearing through the trees, her mouth pulled back in a fierce snarl, revealing her long, bloody teeth. I took a step back so she could go flying by us, and she pounced onto the zombie. He exploded in a terrific mess as her claws pierced his flesh, but she didn’t seem to mind.
The trees were suddenly bathed in yellow from the headlights, and a beaten up station wagon rolled down the driveway. It came to a stop when they saw Ripley gnawing on a corpse. Harlow sat shotgun, and she rolled down the window.