Sweet Jesus Christ. What was I thinking?
Shoving the door open to the employee lounge, I stepped inside, stuffed my ticket book and pen away in my tiny black apron, and began pacing the length of the lockers along the wall while shaking my hands out at my sides.
Jamie coated my mouth. He tasted like watermelon gum and regretful decisions.
And I loved it.
“Shit.” I rubbed around my lips, where I knew my lipstick had been smudged.
My heart was pounding. My limbs were shaking.
No way was I going back out there. Kali could handle my tables on top of her own. Besides Jamie, they were all finishing up anyway. Whatever tip they were all planning on leaving me, she could keep.
I’d finish out my shift in here and then I’d duck out. Avoidance was the plan.
Then the door swung open and my plan went straight to shit.
I whirled around and nearly stumbled backward at the sight of Jamie, stalking toward me like a predator closing fast on his next meal.
Oh, God …
“You,” he growled. “No fuckin’ way, babe, are you pullin’ that shit with me.”
“You can’t be in here,” I warned him, not that it did any good.
He kept coming like he didn’t hear me, with heated eyes and powerful steps, forcing me to move back, again and again, until I was pressed flush against the lockers and Jamie was pressing flush against me, legs to legs, breasts to ribs and hard … holy shit, he was hard.
“Ja—” I started, sounding breathless, and then that breathless start turned into a mindless groan when he dipped lower, slid his hands around my waist, rolled his hips into me, and pressed his erection directly against my clit.
My head fell back. My eyes rolled closed. And I trembled, right there in his arms.
Worst. Mistake. Ever.
“There it is,” he murmured, his breath hot against my face as he bent to get closer. “There it fuckin’ is. You’re feelin’ it now.”
No no no no no. God … I couldn’t let this happen. I couldn’t.
Not with Jamie. I’d never forgive myself. He was a loser. A player. A jerk. I couldn’t do this with him.
“I’m not,” I lied, because I was feeling it. I was feeling all of it, and I was scared I’d never stop feeling it.
His lips grazed my cheek.
“You want this, Legs,” he whispered, moving closer and closer to my mouth. “I want this. Fuck, you got no idea how bad—”
“No,” I interrupted. “I don’t want it.”
Another lie.
“Yeah, babe. You do.”
He kept moving, closer and closer. We were a breath or a lie away from another kiss and I couldn’t let that happen.
“Stop,” I whispered. My voice shook.
I shook. Head to toe. My entire body was locking up. This was a genuine freak-out. I was way past the realm of panicking and into full-blown terrifying mania.
Jamie froze after hearing me. His reaction was immediate, then his lips left my skin and his hands left my waist, and at the loss of contact I opened my eyes and blinked up at him where he stood, now a foot away.
His brow was knitted tight. He was staring at me, nostrils flaring with his breaths. He looked worked up and confused and maybe a little concerned.
Concerned?
No. No way. Jamie McCade didn’t do concern for others, did he? I was certain he only cared about himself.
I blinked, waiting for him to speak. I wanted Jamie to explain why he was looking at me the way he was, but he didn’t do that. He just kept staring.
And the longer he stared, the more uncomfortable I became.
My fingers wrapped under the hem of my shorts and tugged while I chewed nervously on my bottom lip.
Jamie followed my restlessness. His gaze lowered to my hands and focused there, and I watched his chest heave with a sharp breath.
“Do not fuckin’ touch that uniform, Legs,” he growled, meeting my eyes again with heat burning in his. “No joke. I do not need you adjusting your shit right now and showing me more of you. Cool it.”
I felt my spine straighten, then I released my shorts and curled my fingers against my palms, not knowing what else to do with them. I kept my hands lowered and my back flush against the lockers.
We went back to staring at each other.
I contemplated making a dash for the door but figured I wouldn’t get far before I was being pinned between Jamie and another hard surface, and I couldn’t have that. So I stood there, looking at Jamie while thunder rolled under my skin. I was tense and anxious and still … still feeling that kiss.
Why did it have to be so good? And why did it have to be from him?
Then Jamie exhaled forcefully through a shake of his head, breaking the silence between us and causing me to tense further.
I braced and held my breath.
“You don’t want this to happen,” he said, more as a statement than a question, but I knew Jamie was asking me for confirmation on this. I could hear it in his voice.
Easy. I could give him confirmation. No problem. I didn’t want this to happen. I was certain I didn’t. All I had to do was just say it.
But did I do that? Nope. I hesitated.
Why, I have no idea, but it happened. And Jamie didn’t miss it either.
I watched his face soften as he registered my uncertainty, then panicking because once again, I’d been had, I quickly threw out a firm and decisive “no.”
I was too late.
“Bullshit,” Jamie spat, calling me out. “And straight up, babe, that’s bullshit I don’t fuckin’ need. You want this just as bad as I do and last time I checked, you weren’t wasting your time on that worthless motherfucker you called a boyfriend anymore, so what the fuck?”